The BIG SIGNS You've Found THE ONE... (Find The Perfect Relationship) | Jay & Radhi Shetty

TL;DR

Watch how someone acts when they are just being themselves around other people, not on a date. Jay and Radhi Shetty got to know each other by organizing charity events and spending dates at her family home, so they saw each other's real personalities. If you like someone the way they are with others, you will likely love them with you too.

Transcript

be around people that you're thinking about being with in an environment where they're just being themselves because chances are if you like them the way they are when they are with other people then you're likely to love them when they're with you too how did we meet okay so how did we meet do you want to tell the story no you do it no it's okay y... Read More

Key Insights

• The strongest sign you have found the right person is observing them in an environment where they are just being themselves around other people, because if you like them that way, you will likely love them when they are with you too.
• Jay and Radhi met without traditional dating, first crossing paths before Jay became a monk, then reconnecting through his university talks on philosophy and meditation and through organizing charity events together.
• Dating environments function like job interviews, creating pressure to put your best foot forward, wear your best clothes, and say the right things rather than being authentic.
• Jay first met Radhi's mother at the temple, where he was asked to show her a particular voluntary service, the only time he was ever asked to demonstrate it while training there.
• Radhi's mother passed Jay's number to her to join the youth community, but Radhi passed it to her spiritually inclined sister Amy because she wanted to stay focused on her own path.
• Seeing a partner interact with others reveals their true personality, as Jay observed Radhi managing projects and talking to people inside an event-organizing organization before they ever dated.
• Radhi refused to dress up for dates, staying in pajama bottoms and a scruffy top with no makeup, believing that if Jay could not love her as she really was, it was not meant to be.
• Jay's sister provided an action plan predicting what the couple would agree on, struggle with, and be challenged by, which gave them more understanding entering the relationship.

Questions & Answers

Q: How do you know if you have found the right person to be with?

Be around the person you are thinking of being with in an environment where they are just being themselves with other people. Chances are, if you like them the way they are when they are with other people, you are likely to love them when they are with you too. Observing how someone naturally interacts with friends and family reveals their true personality far better than a formal date does.

Q: How did Jay and Radhi Shetty first meet?

They almost met before Jay became a monk, seeing each other briefly without ever having a real conversation. Jay actually met Radhi's mother first at the temple, where he was asked to show her a voluntary service. Later, after Jay left being a monk, his sister told him Radhi liked him, and they connected through the youth community and charity events they organized together, eventually starting to date toward the end of 2013.

Q: Why does Jay Shetty compare dating environments to job interviews?

Jay says dating environments put pressure on people to be in interview mode. Like a job interview, you feel you have to put your best foot forward, wear your best clothes, and say the best things to make the other person like you or seem like the right fit. This performance prevents authenticity. Because Jay and Radhi did not get to know each other in dating scenarios, they avoided that pressure and saw each other's true selves.

Q: What is the key to starting a relationship off well?

The key is not seeing each other primarily in high-pressure dating environments. Jay and Radhi got to know each other by organizing charity events together and spending most of their dates at Radhi's family home surrounded by her parents, sister, and brother-in-law. This let them observe each other's genuine personalities, energy, and how they treated others, which built real understanding rather than a rehearsed impression.

Q: Why did Radhi refuse to dress up for her dates with Jay?

Radhi believed her partner should love her as she truly is. She would stay in the same clothes she wore all day, usually pajama bottoms and a scruffy top, with no makeup. When her mother suggested she change or make more effort, Radhi said that if Jay could not love her in what she was wearing right then, which is how he would see her for the rest of his life, then it was simply not meant to be.

Q: How did Jay's sister help bring him and Radhi together?

Jay's sister, who is one of his best friends and knew him well, told him that Radhi liked him, prompting him to admit he liked her too. She also got to know Radhi well and gave Jay an action plan describing what the couple would agree on, what they would struggle with, and what their challenges would be. Jay credits her with bringing them together and giving them more understanding entering the relationship.

Q: Why was Jay initially not interested in pursuing a relationship?

When Jay first met Radhi before becoming a monk, he thought she was beautiful and attractive but did not think anything of it because he was so focused on his life and spiritually inclined at that time. Similarly, Radhi passed Jay's number to her sister Amy rather than getting involved herself, saying she needed to stay focused and do her own thing. Both were prioritizing their spiritual paths over romance.

Q: What was one thing Jay and Radhi were predicted not to agree on?

Jay's sister predicted in her action plan that the couple would not get along on Bollywood. Radhi loved Bollywood songs and films at the time, while Jay's taste for them was described as questionable, though he could tolerate a good Bollywood song. Knowing these points of agreement and disagreement in advance helped the couple enter the relationship with a clearer understanding of each other's differences and challenges.

Summary

This video discusses how the couple met, the importance of being yourself in a relationship, the key to starting off a relationship, understanding love languages, and the significance of self-awareness and setting expectations.

Questions & Answers

Q: How did they meet?

The couple first met before the man became a monk. The woman's mother introduced them, and they briefly interacted. However, they didn't think much of it at the time because the man was spiritually focused and not interested in dating.

Q: What led to their first real interaction?

The woman's mother wanted her to get involved in the youth community at the temple where the man was training to become a monk. The mother passed on the woman's number to the man's sister, who then connected the couple.

Q: How did they develop a deeper connection?

The couple became friends through organizing charity events together. They observed each other's behavior in different environments and got to know each other's personalities outside of a romantic context.

Q: What made them realize they wanted to be together?

The woman's mother met the man and was impressed by him, which sparked her hope that her daughter would meet someone similar. As the couple spent more time together and got to know each other, they realized they wanted to be together.

Q: How did their relationship progress quickly?

Once they expressed their feelings for each other, the couple quickly transitioned from liking each other to loving each other. They felt a strong connection and discussed the possibility of marriage early on.

Q: How did they spend time together early in the relationship?

They spent a lot of time at each other's parents' homes, allowing them to be themselves and get to know each other's families. This created a comfortable and familiar environment for their relationship to grow.

Q: How did the man's sister contribute to their relationship?

The man's sister played a significant role in bringing the couple together. She noticed their connection and informed the woman about the man's interest. Her insight and understanding of both individuals helped facilitate the relationship.

Q: How did they handle differences in preferences and backgrounds?

The couple acknowledged their differences but embraced and respected each other's qualities, interests, and skills. They learned to play to their strengths and support one another in pursuing their passions.

Q: What is the key to starting off a relationship?

The couple emphasizes the importance of being around each other in natural environments and with other people. It allows you to see how the person behaves and interacts in various situations, providing insight into their true character.

Q: How did they approach setting expectations in the relationship?

The couple prioritized self-awareness and openly communicated their expectations early on. They discussed their personal needs, goals, and priorities, ensuring mutual understanding and respect.

Takeaways

The video highlights the significance of being yourself in a relationship and being around the person you're interested in within natural environments. It emphasizes the importance of self-awareness and setting expectations, as well as recognizing and understanding each other's love languages. By embracing and supporting one another's qualities and strengths, the couple fostered a strong bond. Ultimately, their journey exemplifies the power of mutual respect, communication, and continuous effort to grow together.

Summary & Key Takeaways

• Jay and Radhi Shetty met without conventional dating. Jay briefly saw Radhi before becoming a monk but was focused on his spiritual path. He first met her mother at the temple while showing her a voluntary service, the only time he was ever asked to demonstrate it during his training there.

• Radhi's mother passed Jay's number to her, but Radhi gave it to her sister Amy to stay focused. Radhi heard Jay speak at youth programs and university talks on philosophy and meditation, admiring how he made deep wisdom relevant to young people despite his bald head, tattoos, and monk robes.

• After Jay left the monastery, his sister revealed that Radhi liked him, and the feeling was mutual. They started going out toward the end of 2013, moved quickly, and spent most dates at Radhi's family home, getting to know each other authentically in their natural environments.