Life Cheat Codes: How to Win the Infinite Game of Life

TL;DR

Life is an infinite game whose goal is to keep playing meaningfully, not to win and stop. Unlike video games where victories make you stronger, in life your failures build character while successes keep you the same. Win by focusing obsessively on your main quest, dropping seductive side quests, gaining self-knowledge, and enforcing boundaries.

Transcript

• Have you ever gotten completely lost in a video game, and wondered, "Why can't I have this sort of focus and dedication in my actual life?" That's because, in life, you don't understand the game you are playing. (characters blooping) In this video, I'm gonna lay out in painfully simple terms, exactly what the game of life entails, how it is playe... Read More

Key Insights

• Life is an infinite game, meaning the goal is to keep playing as long and meaningfully as possible, unlike finite video games that end once a strict set of win conditions is met.
• Failure is the engine of growth in life, not success. In video games victories make your character stronger, but in life it is your setbacks and failures that build a stronger character while wins keep you the same.
• Video games give you quests and let you design the character, but real life reverses this: you are given the character and must design your own quests to suit your abilities and knowledge.
• Side quests waste years in real life, unlike in games where they level you up. A huge hack is being more focused and obsessed about your main quest than other people, since real-life side quests are sexy and seductive.
• The first goal of every new character is gaining self-knowledge, because for the first few decades you don't know your talents, what you enjoy, or how you'll respond to adversity. This requires lots of experimenting.
• Strong quests reveal character and build skills, while bad quests obscure character and waste time, energy, and mana, such as owning a fancy car to hide who you are rather than reveal it.
• The biggest quest mistake is mistaking someone else's quest line for your own, like a parent's school choice or a marketer's Lamborghini. Chasing others' dreams relieves you of the responsibility of choosing your own.
• Boundaries are a practical relationship tool: you cannot complete other people's quests and no one can complete yours, so it's your responsibility to refuse when people impose or ask, or you waste both parties' progress.

Questions & Answers

Q: What is the difference between a finite game and an infinite game in life?

A finite game, like most video games, has a strict set of conditions that once met end the game: you beat the dragon, save the princess, and win. An infinite game, which is what life is, has the goal of keeping the game going as long as possible. This means you don't always want to beat the bad guy and save the princess, because completing that goal would leave you with no clear way to continue improving yourself, potentially triggering an existential crisis.

Q: Why do failures make you stronger in life but not in video games?

In video games, advancing a level grants a new skill, so victories make your character stronger while defeats leave you unchanged, and you can retry a failed mission a thousand times until you get it right. Life inverts this: your failures and setbacks build a stronger character, while successes cause you to stay the same. You also can't retry, since fixing a botched relationship only happens in the next relationship. So the point of life is not to win everything but to continuously build character through failures in as many useful ways as possible.

Q: How do you win the game of life by managing side quests?

In video games you rack up side quests to level up and get loot, but in life side quests are a fun distraction at best and waste years at worst. A huge hack is to be more focused and obsessed about your main quest than other people, so the fewer side quests the better. Real-life side quests are sexy, exciting, and seductive rather than lame errands, making them difficult to forego, but giving up the dumb side quests keeps you on track and leads to a happier, more fulfilling life.

Q: Why is gaining self-knowledge the first goal in life?

In video games you know your character's abilities from the start, but in life for the first few decades you don't know who your character is: what you're good at, your talents, what you'll enjoy pursuing, or how you'll respond to adversity. Therefore the first goal of every new character is to gain self-knowledge and figure out who you are and what you're inclined to do. This requires lots of experimenting, trying simple quest lines like Debate Club or Math Olympiad, with the bulk of that realization happening while you're still young.

Q: What makes a quest good or bad when choosing how to spend your life?

Choosing the right quest is the biggest and most difficult part of winning life. Strong quests reveal character and build skills, such as living abroad for a year, which teaches communication, relationship skills, self-confidence, and independence. Bad quests obscure your character and waste skills, time, energy, and mana, such as drinking all 268 beers on tap at a lager house, or only trying to own a fancy car, which is often motivated by hiding who you are rather than revealing it.

Q: Why should you avoid chasing other people's quest lines?

The biggest mistake people make choosing a quest is mistaking someone else's quest line for their own. Wanting to own a Lamborghini is likely the quest line of Lamborghini's marketers or a douchey YouTuber who wants your envy. People often try to impose their quest lines on you, whether parents wanting a certain school, a partner wanting you to fix their emotional problems, or a company marketing its products. Chasing others' dreams is tempting because it relieves you of the responsibility of choosing your own.

Q: What are boundaries and why do they matter?

Boundaries are an incredibly practical and important relationship tool everyone should learn, despite sounding wishy-washy. The core is simple: you cannot complete other people's quests for them, and no one else can complete your quest for you. If people try to complete yours or ask you to complete theirs, it's your responsibility to tell them no. Failing to do so wastes your precious time and energy and prevents the other person from advancing in their own quest, thus wasting theirs as well.

Q: What three things determine your ability to advance in your chosen quest?

Once a quest is selected, your ability to advance comes down to three things: your character traits, your ability to focus, and your ability to stomach failure and setback. Character traits are a given, so your job is to discover and leverage them. Focus is based on turning down useless but exciting side quests and enforcing boundaries. Progress is proportional to your ability to stomach failure, because grinding levels in real life means losing hard battles to gain experience, unlike winning easy battles repeatedly in a game.

Summary & Key Takeaways

• Video games are finite games with strict win conditions, but life is an infinite game whose goal is to keep playing as long and meaningfully as possible. This makes winning at everything counterproductive, since achieving a final goal removes the means by which you continue improving yourself and can trigger an existential crisis.

• In video games victories make characters stronger and defeats leave them unchanged, but life inverts this: failures build your character and successes keep you the same. The point is not to win everything but to continuously build character through failures and setbacks in as many useful ways as possible while staying active and engaged.

• Winning requires focusing on your main quest over seductive side quests, gaining self-knowledge through experimentation, choosing quests that reveal character and build skills, and enforcing boundaries. Progress comes down to your character traits, your ability to focus, and above all your ability to stomach failure, since grinding levels in real life means losing hard battles to gain experience.