Ridiculous Court Filings

TL;DR

These humorous legal pleadings and motions include a man requesting trial by combat, a handwritten divorce petition, a defense attorney trolling a prosecutor, a lawyer predicting a Chiefs' Super Bowl win, and a lawyer seeking a continuance for an Ernest Hemingway look-alike contest.

Transcript

• So Hensler declares that, "The marriage has become very unsupportable, unless she consents to having her mouth surgically closed." My God, man. Holy cow, you put this in front of the court. A pleading is a document that you file with the court. And whenever I file a pleading, it is well-researched, it makes good faith, well-reasoned arguments, an... Read More

Key Insights

• 💅 Some individuals, like the man in Iowa, resort to bizarre and historically outdated methods, such as trial by combat, to resolve legal disputes.
• 🥺 Handwritten legal pleadings, like the divorce petition in Texas, can be outrageous and lack professionalism, but they still make their way into court files.
• 😒 Defense attorneys may use humor and trolling tactics to challenge prosecutors' motions, as seen in the Tennessee case.
• 🥺 Lawyers' personal interests and commitments, such as attending an Ernest Hemingway look-alike contest, can clash with trial schedules, leading to unusual requests for continuances.

Questions & Answers

Q: Why did the man in Iowa request trial by combat in his custody battle?

The man, David Ostrom, believed that trial by combat was still a legitimate method for dispute resolution and wanted to draw attention to the perceived bias against men in custody disputes. He saw it as a way to resolve his communication and property tax issues with his ex-wife.

Q: What were some of the outrageous statements made in the Texas attorney's handwritten divorce petition?

The attorney, Paul Frank Hensler, accused his ex-wife of failing to provide the legitimate ends of the marriage and requested that her mouth be surgically closed. He also sarcastically claimed that he did everything he could to impregnate her and criticized feminists for not having children with male chauvinist pig lawyers.

Q: How did the defense attorney in Tennessee respond to the prosecutor's motion to ban the term "the Government"?

Defense attorney Drew Justice, cheekily known as "Captain Justice," argued that the term "the Government" was not inherently derogatory and pointed out that courts often refer to the prosecutor's office as such. He proposed alternative names and titles for both sides in the courtroom, including "The resistance" for the defense.

Q: Why did the DUI attorney in Florida request a continuance for her trial?

Denise Kirby, a Kansas City Chiefs fan, predicted that her team would make it to the Super Bowl and wanted to attend the game in Miami. She initially made the request before the Chiefs' victory seemed unlikely, but later filed a new motion when they secured a spot in the Super Bowl.

Summary & Key Takeaways

• An Iowa man requested trial by combat in a custody battle, citing trial by combat's historical legitimacy and proposing samurai sword duels.

• A Texas attorney filed a handwritten divorce petition, accusing his ex-wife of failings and requesting her mouth be surgically closed.

• A defense attorney in Tennessee mocked a prosecutor's demand not to be referred to as "the Government," proposing alternative names and titles for both sides in the courtroom.

• A DUI attorney in Florida successfully predicted that the Chiefs would win the Super Bowl, prompting a continuance for her trial.

• A lawyer scheduled to attend an Ernest Hemingway look-alike contest was denied a continuance for a murder-for-hire trial, with the judge citing Hemingway's dedication to his work.