Jay Shetty ON: If You STRUGGLE To Find Meaning & Purpose In Life, WATCH THIS! | Ed Mylett

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February 24, 2023
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Building Confidence & Overcoming Fears
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Jay Shetty ON: If You STRUGGLE To Find Meaning & Purpose In Life, WATCH THIS! | Ed Mylett

TL;DR

Calm must be created internally rather than postponed until circumstances, markets, politics, weather, or relationships improve. A more meaningful life comes from testing different paths without self-judgment, using personal gifts in service of others, and separating your authentic identity from the roles you perform to satisfy other people’s expectations.

Transcript

let's start somewhere there's 11 sort of points in the book that you go through but I think in this time in this day and age with all the kind of current events that are happening in the world one of the things you talked about in there is ways to find calm in the chaos could you talk a little bit about that yeah absolutely I think we're just livin... Read More

Key Insights

  • Calm is something people can create within themselves, rather than something they must find in perfectly aligned external circumstances. Waiting for markets, politics, weather, relationships, or other uncontrollable conditions to stabilize makes inner peace dependent on forces that may remain uncertain.
  • Monk-inspired thinking offers access to a less externally dependent form of happiness. The interview describes monks as having exceptionally calm and happy brains, including elevated gamma waves during sleep, and presents their practices as a way to cultivate internal steadiness amid chaos.
  • Humbling experiences can become transformative when expectations are proven wrong. Shetty attended a monk’s talk while expecting to learn nothing, but the encounter changed his direction because he recognized a quality of genuine contentment that he had not found in powerful, wealthy, famous, or successful people.
  • A meaningful decision can be tested through direct experience rather than immediate judgment. From ages 18 to 22, Shetty divided summer vacations between finance internships and monastic living in India, allowing him to experience each path fully before deciding which one brought him greater fulfillment.
  • Selfless service means helping without expecting repayment. The instruction to plant trees whose shade you do not plan to enjoy illustrates work performed for people who may never reciprocate, shifting the purpose of talent away from personal recognition and toward benefiting others.
  • Personal gifts gain value when they are used in service of others. The monk’s message challenged Shetty’s earlier belief that skills primarily existed to impress people or make money, prompting him to test whether contribution could provide a deeper source of purpose.
  • Social roles can separate people from their authentic identity. Like method actors who remain immersed in a character, individuals may perform different versions of themselves at work, at home, and with friends until they forget who they are apart from those roles.
  • Writing down everything you are currently chasing is a first step toward recognizing outside influence. The exercise helps expose goals, identities, and expectations that may have been adopted to please others rather than chosen from an authentic understanding of oneself.

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Questions & Answers

Q: How can you create calm during uncertain times?

Create calm internally instead of waiting for the outside world to become predictable. Markets, politics, weather, relationships, and unexpected events may never align perfectly, so peace based on those conditions remains fragile. Monk-inspired thinking shifts attention toward practices and perspectives that make calm something you actively produce, reducing dependence on circumstances or other people’s daily approval.

Q: Why does external success fail to guarantee happiness?

Beauty, power, wealth, fame, and professional success do not necessarily produce genuine contentment. Shetty reached this conclusion after meeting many accomplished people but rarely encountering someone who seemed truly satisfied and happy. His meeting with a monk stood out because the monk displayed an enduring happiness that remained consistent throughout the years Shetty knew him.

Q: How did Jay Shetty decide to pursue the monk path?

Shetty compared two ways of living through firsthand experience. From ages 18 to 22, he spent parts of his summer vacations interning at large finance companies and visiting steakhouses and bars, while spending other parts living as a monk in India, wearing robes, sleeping on the floor, and meditating. After graduation, he chose the path that felt more fulfilling.

Q: What does planting trees for others symbolize?

Planting trees whose shade you do not plan to sit under symbolizes service without an expectation of personal benefit. Many people help while anticipating future repayment, but the principle presented in the conversation defines real service as doing something for people who cannot currently return the favor. It directs attention from reciprocity toward contribution and selfless sacrifice.

Q: How can personal talents create a sense of purpose?

Personal talents can create purpose when they are applied in service of other people rather than used only for money, status, or admiration. The monk’s message challenged Shetty to reconsider why abilities matter. Its central claim is that gifts have little value when they remain disconnected from contribution, especially service performed without expecting recognition or repayment.

Q: How can experimenting with different life paths improve decisions?

Directly experiencing different paths can reveal which one produces genuine fulfillment. Shetty approached finance and monastic living as an experiment, entering each environment fully without condemning himself for participating in the other. This absence of self-judgment allowed him to compare the experiences honestly and choose according to joy and fulfillment rather than assumptions or social pressure.

Q: Why do people lose themselves while trying to please others?

People can lose themselves by repeatedly performing the identity they believe each audience wants. They may adopt one role at work, another at home, and another among friends. Shetty compares this pattern to method acting because prolonged immersion in constructed roles can blur the boundary between performance and identity, leaving a person disconnected from who they authentically are.

Q: What is the first step to stop living by other people’s opinions?

The first step offered in the conversation is to write down everything you are currently chasing. Reviewing those pursuits can help reveal whether goals and identities come from personal conviction or from an effort to become what others expect. The exercise creates a concrete starting point for separating authentic priorities from approval-seeking roles and outside pressure.

Summary

In this video, Jay Shetty discusses ways to find calm in the chaos of uncertain times and explains the concept of thinking like a monk. He shares his personal journey of graduating from college and choosing to live with monks in India, where he learned about finding peace within ourselves. Jay also talks about the importance of finding happiness and contentment in life, and how to overcome the struggle of seeking validation from others. He emphasizes the power of selfless service, the significance of a morning routine, and the role of ego in our lives.

Questions & Answers

Q: How can we find calm in the chaos of uncertain times?

Jay explains that in times of chaos, we cannot rely on external factors to bring us peace. Instead, we need to find and create that peace within ourselves. Thinking like a monk can help us achieve this inner calm, as the brains of monks have been found to be the calmest and happiest on the planet. By understanding the power of our own thoughts and emotions, we can cultivate peace and not be dependent on external circumstances.

Q: Why did Jay choose to live with monks after college?

Jay shares that he was initially skeptical about what he could learn from a monk, but he attended a talk given by a monk and was humbled by the experience. He realized that he had met successful people in various aspects of life, but had not met anyone who was truly happy. This inspired him to spend every summer vacation with the monk, living with him in a monastery in India. After graduating, Jay chose the path of a monk over a career in banking because he found more fulfillment and joy in the monk lifestyle.

Q: What is the impact of a morning routine?

Jay believes that a morning routine is vital for starting the day on the right note. He explains that the morning hours are meant for self-care and preparing oneself for the challenges of the day ahead. By having a morning routine that consists of gratitude, gaining insights from books or podcasts, meditation, and exercise, one can create a positive and energizing start to the day. Jay suggests creating a specific space and dedicating a particular time for the morning routine to enhance the experience and make it a consistent practice.

Q: How does ego contribute to low self-esteem and lack of confidence?

Jay explains that ego can manifest in two ways – thinking oneself to be the best or the worst. When someone believes that their life is the worst or that they are the worst, it is an ego issue because they are focused solely on themselves and their pain. By shifting the focus from oneself to helping and serving others, ego can be overcome. Jay highlights the importance of self-honesty and recognizing one's strengths and weaknesses to maintain a balanced perspective.

Q: How does serving others help in finding purpose and success?

Jay believes that true success and purpose come from serving others. By helping and serving others without expecting anything in return, one can learn more about themselves and connect with different parts of their own being. Success is not just about money or fame, but about making a positive impact on others' lives. Jay emphasizes that service is not limited to grand gestures and can be practiced daily by being empathetic and understanding others' pain.

Takeaways

The key takeaway from this video is that finding calm in chaos requires looking within ourselves instead of relying on external circumstances. By thinking like a monk, cultivating inner peace, and finding our purpose through selfless service, we can navigate uncertain times with greater calmness and contentment. Building a morning routine that includes gratitude, gaining insights, meditation, and exercise can also contribute to our overall well-being. It is important to separate our ego from our self-esteem and focus on serving others to find meaning and success in life.

Summary & Key Takeaways

  • Jay Shetty argues that uncertain conditions make dependence on external stability unreliable. Instead of waiting for circumstances to become ideal, people can practice creating peace within themselves. Monk-inspired thinking offers a model for developing calm and happiness that does not depend on favorable weather, constant affection, or predictable events.

  • Shetty describes moving from an obedient childhood through rebellion and experimentation before encountering a monk at age 18. Impressed by the monk’s genuine happiness, he spent summer vacations experiencing both finance internships and monastic life in India. Comparing the paths directly helped him decide that the monk path felt more fulfilling.

  • The conversation connects purpose with selfless service and authentic identity. Shetty encourages using gifts to benefit people who cannot immediately repay the favor. He also warns that constantly performing different roles at work, home, and among friends can make people forget themselves while becoming whoever they believe others expect them to be.


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