Former FBI Agent Explains How to Negotiate | WIRED

TL;DR

Successful negotiation depends on planning for what you will be asked, assessing the other person, building engagement, and only then moving toward the transaction. Former FBI agent and body language expert Joe Navarro recommends rehearsing, adapting language to the audience, mirroring behavior, managing time, using silence, and letting people vent. Read on for practical ways to apply each tactic.

Transcript

what i find in negotiations in real life is the absolute failure on the part of so many people to not anticipate what you will be asked i'm joe navarro former fbi agent and body language expert asking for a raise haggling in a market deciding where to go for dinner interviewing a suspect all of these are a form of negotiation every successful negot... Read More

Key Insights

• "every successful negotiation follows a pattern there's the assessment phase the engagement phase and the transactional phase" (0:31)
• "so it's planning it's coordinating it's rehearsing sitting down with fellow agents and saying okay you're gonna play the part of the bad guy" (1:43)
• "by mirroring their behavior they don't feel threatened" (3:17)
• "negotiations are temporal whoever dominates time is in charge" (6:13)
• "one of the things that i learned as an agent especially dealing with extremists is that you just let them vent" (7:10)

Questions & Answers

Q: What are the three phases of a successful negotiation?

The three phases are assessment, engagement, and transaction. Assessment gathers advance information and reads the person throughout the interaction, engagement determines how to approach and meet them, and transaction addresses the goal or objective.

Q: How should you prepare for a negotiation?

Clearly define your objective, decide which words to use, and anticipate what the other person may ask or challenge. Coordinate and rehearse with someone who can play the opposing role, especially when the other party thinks and speaks quickly.

Q: Why should you adapt your language to the audience?

The words you choose should fit the person you are addressing. Navarro illustrates this by questioning whether fourth-grade words would suit a CEO with two degrees, emphasizing that preparation must account for the audience.

Q: How does mirroring help during a negotiation?

Mirroring can make an approach feel natural and less threatening. Navarro describes carrying a newspaper in the same hand as a person he approached, which supported a benign beginning to the engagement process.

Q: What is the empathic model of social interaction?

It is a framework for human communication built around assessment, engagement, and transaction. Navarro says cooperation becomes easier when assessment and engagement are coordinated before moving toward the desired outcome.

Q: How can timing affect a negotiation?

Navarro calls the strategic use of time chronicity and recommends considering when a person can resist most effectively. Calling a timeout or changing when a discussion occurs can alter the rhythm and direction of the negotiation.

Q: How can silence be used in negotiation?

Silence can pressure the other party to continue negotiating without an immediate counteroffer. Navarro recounts a client lowering his eyes and remaining silent after a supposed final offer, after which the seller's daughter offered another million dollars.

Q: Why should you let an angry or resistant person vent?

Letting someone vent repeatedly can help exhaust what they want to express. Navarro recommends inviting them to revisit the subject even when they appear to be shutting down, based on his experience dealing with extremists.

Summary & Key Takeaways

• Effective negotiations require careful planning, clearly defining objectives, and considering the audience and potential challenges.

• Mirroring the behavior of the other party can create a sense of trust and rapport, leading to more productive engagement.

• The empathic model of social interaction, incorporating the assessment, engagement, and transactional phases, helps structure negotiations and achieve desired outcomes.