Maitreyi Ramakrishnan ON: Imposter Syndrome & Navigating Self-Doubt In Any Stage of Your Journey

TL;DR

Confidence often swings day to day, and one negative comment can undo a flood of praise. Maitreyi Ramakrishnan admits she once scrolled past countless positive comments just to find a negative one before shutting off her phone. Learning to sit with yourself, speak up for your beliefs, and appreciate your parents helps steady that self-doubt.

Transcript

it's like self-love like you got the confidence one day of like yeah i deserve this i'm very proud of myself but then the next day it's oh god oh no people think i'm a joke that could be sparked because you see one comment and i used to do this i'm gonna be honest i would scroll through comments until i found a negative one scroll through thousands... Read More

Key Insights

• Imposter syndrome feels like unstable self-love, where one day you believe you deserve success and the next you fear people think you are a joke. A single negative comment can spark that spiral of doubt.
• Doom-scrolling for negativity is self-sabotage. Maitreyi admits she would scroll past a huge volume of positive comments specifically to find one negative one, and that negative comment was what made her turn off her phone.
• Parents shape identity more than you realize while growing up. Maitreyi says she is only a fraction of who she is without her parents, a gratitude she would not have voiced years earlier but recognizes now.
• Humanizing your parents is a turning point in growing up. The moment you stop idolizing them, see them cry, or disagree with them, you start relating to them as real people rather than flawless figures.
• Being raised to speak up against injustice builds courage. Maitreyi's parents taught her to defend anyone being bullied or wronged, even strangers, and to never hide her opinions in family or professional settings.
• Refusing to code-switch preserves authenticity. Maitreyi says she never code-switched because her mother raised her to simply be herself, speak her mind, and never hide who she is.
• Forced solitude can be uncomfortable but clarifying. Maitreyi disliked being alone for most of high school because she did not like herself, surrounding herself with many people to avoid her own thoughts.
• Solo time can build lasting skills. Because her mother would not let her visit friends whose parents she did not know, Maitreyi picked up drawing, painting, singing, playing piano, and video games on her own.

Questions & Answers

Q: What does imposter syndrome feel like according to Maitreyi Ramakrishnan?

Maitreyi describes imposter syndrome as being like self-love that swings unpredictably. One day you feel confident and proud, believing you deserve your success, and the very next day you panic that people think you are a joke. She explains that this shift can be sparked by something as small as seeing one negative comment, which undermines all the confidence you had built up the day before.

Q: How did Maitreyi Ramakrishnan cope unhealthily with online comments?

Maitreyi admits she would scroll through comments searching specifically for negativity. She would pass an enormous volume of positive comments until she found a single negative one, and that negative comment was the point at which she would turn off her phone. She openly calls this behavior very unhealthy, acknowledging that fixating on the one criticism while ignoring the praise damaged her wellbeing.

Q: Why does Maitreyi credit her parents so heavily?

Maitreyi says she realizes she is only a fraction of who she is without her parents, a gratitude she would not have expressed years earlier. She recognizes now, especially after everything that has happened to her, that she needs them to be who she is. Her father encouraged her to pursue whatever she wanted and be the best she could at it, and both parents supported her acting ambitions when many South Asian parents do not.

Q: What does it mean to humanize your parents?

Maitreyi describes humanizing parents as the moment you stop idolizing them as flawless and all-powerful. It happens when you see them cry, or when you realize you actually disagree with them on something. Before that, kids often think their parents can do no wrong. Recognizing them as real, imperfect humans changed how she connected with her family and helped her stop feeling like an outsider at home.

Q: How did Maitreyi's upbringing teach her to stand up for others?

Maitreyi's parents raised her with a strong sense of justice, teaching her to speak up whenever she saw injustice or someone being bullied, even if she did not know the person. Her mother told her to be herself, speak her mind in any setting, and never hide who she is. This made Maitreyi well known among friends as someone who stood up for what she believed in.

Q: Why did Maitreyi Ramakrishnan avoid being alone for so long?

Maitreyi hated being alone up until her final year of high school because she did not like herself and would rather have been anyone else. Sitting with her own thoughts and having to entertain herself felt intolerable. To avoid this, she surrounded herself with many different people, seeking more opportunities to go out and have conversations that were not with herself. She only confronted this discomfort when circumstances forced her to.

Q: How did Maitreyi develop her creative skills as a child?

Maitreyi's mother had a rule that she could not visit friends whose parents she did not know, which limited her social outings. As a result, her Nintendo GameCube became a close companion and she became skilled at video games. She also picked up hobbies like drawing, painting, singing, and playing piano by herself. She is thankful now because those solitary activities gave her a range of lasting skills.

Q: What did Maitreyi mean by refusing to code-switch?

Maitreyi says she never engaged in code-switching, the practice many people of color use to alter their behavior in different settings. This was because her mother raised her to believe she did not have to hide herself or stay silent, whether at a family party or in a professional environment. If she saw something wrong, she was taught to speak up and simply be who she is, without being a brat, staying authentic across every context.

Summary

In this video, Mindy Kaling interviews Maitreyi Ramakrishnan, the actress known for her leading role in the Netflix series "Never Have I Ever". Maitreyi shares her experiences growing up as a South Asian young woman in Canada and talks about her journey into acting. She explains how she struggled with self-love and the pressure of living up to societal expectations. Maitreyi also discusses her close relationship with her grandmother, the challenges of being on set for the first time, and how she deals with imposter syndrome.

Questions & Answers

Q: What was it like growing up as a South Asian young woman in Canada?

For Maitreyi, it was a unique experience. She was exposed to people from different backgrounds, which helped her learn about different cultures and identities. However, she also had to navigate her own identity as a Canadian. She credits her parents for helping her understand her identity and appreciating her upbringing.

Q: Did you ever feel like you couldn't connect with your family when you were growing up?

Maitreyi shares that she used to feel like an outsider in her family, especially compared to her older brother, who was seen as the studious one. She initially struggled to connect with her family but eventually realized that she needed to humanize them and understand their perspectives. This shift in perspective allowed her to develop a stronger bond with her family.

Q: How did your parents support your acting aspirations?

Maitreyi's parents were surprisingly supportive of her acting dreams, even though it's not a traditional career path for South Asian families. Her dad encouraged her to pursue her passion and be the best at it. While initially, Maitreyi thought her parents didn't understand her, she later realized how supportive they had been all along.

Q: Was there a moment when you realized your parents were right about something?

Maitreyi admits that as a rebellious younger sibling, she often disagreed with her parents. However, as she grew older, she started seeing things from their perspective and realized that they were right about certain things. This realization humanized her parents and enhanced her relationship with them.

Q: Did you enjoy spending time alone when you were growing up?

Maitreyi reveals that she used to hate being alone and would try to avoid it. She struggled to enjoy her own company and preferred being around others. However, as she grew older, she learned to appreciate spending time alone and developed a better relationship with herself.

Q: How did you deal with not liking yourself when you were younger?

Maitreyi acknowledges that she didn't like herself for a long time, which made it difficult to spend time alone. She struggled with self-confidence and constantly compared herself to others. However, with time, she learned to be kinder to herself and realized the importance of self-love.

Q: Did you ever feel like an imposter when you first started acting?

Maitreyi admits that imposter syndrome still creeps in from time to time. She mentions how negative comments or doubts from others can trigger imposter syndrome. However, she reminds herself of her hard work and accomplishments, which helps her combat those feelings of inadequacy.

Q: How did you overcome imposter syndrome on set?

Maitreyi shares two important lessons she learned on set that helped her deal with imposter syndrome. First, she learned to trust and respect everyone's role on set, allowing her to focus on her own performance. Second, she embraced a mindset of continuous learning and staying alert, recognizing the opportunity she had and valuing the knowledge she could gain.

Q: How did you handle your first day on set?

Maitreyi's first day on set was a scene where her character, Davey, tells her friends about choosing boyfriends for them. She was excited to be there and introduced herself to everyone. She learned to trust the team and focus on her own performance while respecting others in their roles. Maitreyi also mentions how Mindy Kaling and Lang Fisher created a supportive atmosphere, where she never felt stupid for asking questions or seeking help.

Q: How did you pluck up the courage to send your first audition tape?

Maitreyi explains that she was initially hesitant to send her audition tape because she thought people wouldn't look at it, given the number of applicants. However, she decided to give it her best shot and have fun with it, not worrying too much about the outcome. She was excited about the possibility of contributing to something bigger and being part of the industry.

Takeaways

Maitreyi Ramakrishnan's journey as an actress highlights the importance of self-love, resilience, and continuous learning. She faced challenges, including imposter syndrome and the pressure to fit societal expectations. However, she overcame these struggles by embracing her passion for acting, trusting and respecting others, and recognizing the value of her own journey. Maitreyi's story serves as a reminder that success is built on hard work, and it is essential to be kind to oneself and strive for personal growth.

Summary & Key Takeaways

• Maitreyi Ramakrishnan opens up about imposter syndrome as a swing between deserving success and fearing ridicule. She confesses an unhealthy habit of scrolling past overwhelming positive feedback to hunt for a single negative comment, which would then prompt her to shut off her phone entirely.

• Growing up in Canada around people of many backgrounds pushed Maitreyi to define her own identity. She credits her supportive parents heavily, saying she is only a fraction of who she is without them, a realization that came quickly after everything that has happened to her.

• Raised to speak up against injustice and never code-switch, Maitreyi stood up for bullied peers and knew the principal's office well. Yet she long disliked being alone, only confronting that discomfort in her final year of school and channeling it into after-school theater.