How to Stop a Woman From Looking Down on You

TL;DR

Attraction runs on a marketplace logic where women gatekeep sex and men gatekeep commitment, so your attention and approval are your currency. Giving them away too easily (constant compliments, agreeing with everything) makes a woman undervalue you. Stay non-reactive, never back down first, and place high value on yourself to keep her ego in check.

Transcript

from the moment a beautiful woman steps out of her house dozens of men try to grab her attention and win her favor thanks to social media and dating apps those dozens have turned into hundreds all of this has led women to have a big ego if you're not tall wellb built handsome and financially stable she'll see herself as Superior to you and look dow... Read More

Key Insights

• Dating problems stem from not understanding how dating works, not from a personal flaw. Society never gave men an instruction manual, so most follow patterns that work against natural relationship dynamics rather than with them.
• Dating is a marketplace governed by evolutionary laws, not strict rules. These principles are patterns often true, shaped by millions of years of evolution, and aligning with them is easier than swimming against the current.
• Women are the gatekeepers of sex and men are the gatekeepers of commitment. Sex and commitment function as currency the two sides exchange, with women using sex to secure commitment and men using commitment to gain sexual access.
• Commitment has four levels: attention and approval, non-exclusive dating, explicit exclusive relationship, and marriage. Marriage is the ultimate commitment that most women dream of from a young age.
• The ego problem appears at the earliest stage, before mutual interest is confirmed. Giving attention and approval too easily at this point makes a woman undervalue you, which is where most men repeatedly fail.
• Attention and approval are valuable resources women desire, so men should be selective about giving them. Just as men are not entitled to a woman's body, women are not entitled to a man's attention and approval.
• Winning the game of chicken means never being the one who backs down first. Backing down to gain approval, ease tension, or avoid conflict hands your power to the other person in that exact moment.
• People respect you instantly when they sense they cannot intimidate or manipulate you. When a woman senses you are not intimidated by her, she assumes you are better than her, which is why players succeed.

Questions & Answers

Q: Why do modern women have bigger egos in dating?

According to the video, social media and dating apps mean the dozens of men who once tried to win a beautiful woman's favor have turned into hundreds. This flood of attention leads women to develop a big ego. If a man is not tall, well-built, handsome, and financially stable, she may see herself as superior and look down on him. The speaker frames this as a shift in the relationship market rather than a personal failing of the man.

Q: How does dating work like a marketplace?

The video describes dating as a marketplace governed by laws similar to an economy. These laws are not strict rules but general principles and patterns that are often true, resulting from millions of years of human evolution and rooted in the primal instinct to reproduce. The simplest and most effective strategies align with these laws rather than going against them. Fighting this evolutionary momentum is compared to swimming against the current and is what causes frustration for most men.

Q: What does it mean that women gatekeep sex and men gatekeep commitment?

The video explains a fundamental conflict: women are the gatekeepers of sex and men are the gatekeepers of commitment. Women use sex to attract men and secure their commitment, while men use the promise of commitment to attract women and gain a sexual relationship. Sex and commitment act like currency, the resources each side exchanges to get what they want. This traces back to early humans, where men's best strategy was to impregnate many women and women's was to reject most men and secure one long-term provider.

Q: What are the four levels of commitment?

The video outlines four levels of commitment that serve as a man's currency. Level one is your attention and approval, sought when a woman first gets to know you. Level two is non-exclusive dating, when you both like each other and start spending time together. Level three is an explicit exclusive relationship, where you both clearly agree you are committed. Level four is marriage, described as the ultimate commitment and something most women dream of from a young age.

Q: When does a woman's ego become a problem in dating?

The video says the ego problem usually arises at the earliest stage, before you both decide you are interested in each other. At this point, giving a woman your attention and approval too easily causes her to not value you. This is where most men fail repeatedly, giving too much attention simply because they find the woman attractive. Examples include complimenting her looks immediately, agreeing with everything she says, overloading her with praise, and giving her far more attention than other women.

Q: How can a man keep a woman's ego in check?

The video advises against two common wrong approaches: giving in and showing her she is better, or trying to bring her down. Instead, a man should elevate himself above her by placing a high value on himself, since success with women is described as a state of mind and she feels what you feel. This is achieved through two steps: winning the game of chicken by never backing down first, and communicating from a position of implicit status by being non-reactive.

Q: What is the game of chicken in dating?

The game of chicken is described as a challenge where two people head toward each other to see who backs down first. In every conversation and relationship, someone surrenders first, and in that moment you hand over your power. Nice guys are always the ones who back down, doing it to be liked, gain approval, ease tension, or avoid conflict. Backing down happens when you panic and backpedal after sensing you said something wrong, or hesitate before kissing because you are not fully sure she wants it.

Q: Why does being non-reactive make a man more attractive?

The video says people notice and respect you instantly when they realize they cannot intimidate you, and when someone senses their games and manipulation will not work, you gain power over them. When a beautiful woman senses you are not intimidated by her, she assumes you are better than her, which is why players succeed since women know they cannot control them. The speaker shares a bar example where a girl criticized his sneakers and he reacted defensively, illustrating the mistake of not staying non-reactive.

Summary & Key Takeaways

• The root of most men's dating struggles is a lack of understanding of how dating actually works. Viewed from a wide angle, dating is a marketplace governed by evolutionary laws rooted in the reproductive instinct, and aligning with these patterns is far easier than fighting against a million years of momentum.

• Men and women evolved conflicting reproductive strategies: historically men sought to impregnate many women while women rejected most men to secure one committed provider. This creates the core dynamic where women gatekeep sex and men gatekeep commitment, exchanging these as currency in the relationship market.

• A man's currency is his commitment, starting with attention and approval. The ego problem arises early when men give attention too freely through excessive compliments and agreement. To keep her ego low, a man must elevate himself by valuing himself highly, winning the game of chicken, and communicating from implicit status by staying non-reactive.