How to Build Relationships With Influential People

TL;DR

Build relationships with influential people by offering useful work before requesting advice, then earn trust through consistent follow-up and reliable execution. Nicole Behnam used this approach to connect with negotiation expert Chris Voss, demonstrating that bold outreach works best when it addresses a real need and creates value for the other person.

Transcript

Today on the show, I am so excited to be joined by Nicole Bettum. Nicole is a Los Angeles-based entrepreneur, podcast host, and connector who has built her career at the intersection of [music] relationships, ideas, and access. She's the founder and host of Beyond the Interview, a podcast rooted in the belief that learning is one of the most underr... Read More

Key Insights

• Value-first outreach is a practical way to approach influential people because it replaces a vague request for mentorship with a concrete contribution. Behnam studied Chris Voss's social media, identified how it could improve, and offered relevant help before expecting access or advice.
• Trust is the foundation of a strong professional network. Behnam says the influential people around her became friends who trusted her, and that successful collaborations created associations that helped her form additional relationships without treating networking as a simple exchange of contacts.
• Persistence is often necessary because influential people receive many unsolicited messages. Behnam continued contacting Voss after he initially showed no interest, eventually using a specific spelling mistake to restart the conversation and demonstrate that she was paying close attention to his work.
• Boldness works best when it is supported by preparation and usefulness. Behnam confidently told an established author and MasterClass instructor that his social profiles could better reflect his writing, but her approach was credible because she had reviewed the profiles and developed a relevant proposal.
• Hosting communities can deepen relationships by creating value at scale. Behnam brought Voss into her Clubhouse room about FBI negotiation tactics, where notable participants joined and attendance reached capacity, strengthening both his trust in her and her visible association with his expertise.
• Professional relevance can change in waves, so past momentum does not eliminate the need for renewed outreach. Behnam says she became less persistent after opportunities started arriving naturally, then rediscovered the importance of follow-up while seeking sponsors for her returning podcast.
• Sales is a mindset that must be activated during fundraising and sponsorship efforts. Behnam and the host agree that pitching, asking clearly, and following up are essential when seeking capital or commercial partners, even if other phases of work emphasize building rather than selling.
• Entrepreneurship is Behnam's preferred direction for her revived podcast because she views it as highly resistant to AI displacement. After initially interviewing authors and entrepreneurs, she plans to focus mostly on entrepreneurs while making their ideas and conversations more accessible.

Questions & Answers

Q: How can you build relationships with influential people?

Build relationships with influential people by finding a specific way to help them before asking for mentorship, advice, or access. Nicole Behnam reviewed Chris Voss's social media presence, identified an opportunity to showcase more of his writing, and proposed practical improvements. Her persistence earned a conversation, while later creating valuable opportunities for him helped turn the initial contact into lasting trust.

Q: Why should you offer value before asking for mentorship?

Offering value first gives a potential mentor a concrete reason to engage and shows that you understand the person's work. Behnam recognized that Chris Voss charged $10,000 an hour for advice, so a direct request for mentorship was unlikely to distinguish her. She instead presented a useful social media idea, showing initiative while respecting the value of his time and expertise.

Q: How did Nicole Behnam connect with Chris Voss?

Nicole Behnam studied Chris Voss's social media accounts and contacted him with ideas for improving them, including featuring more of his writing. He was not interested at first, but she continued following up. After she pointed out a spelling mistake, he recognized that she would not easily give up, agreed to hear her proposal, and eventually developed trust in her.

Q: Why is persistence important in professional outreach?

Persistence matters because busy and influential people receive many requests, and a single message may not produce a response. The conversation suggests following up more than once while still respecting a clear rejection and allowing time before trying again. Behnam's experience shows that specific, useful follow-ups can demonstrate seriousness and attention rather than merely repeating the original request.

Q: How does trust help someone build a strong network?

Trust turns introductions into durable relationships because people become willing to collaborate, share access, and associate their reputations with one another. Behnam says the people in her network are friends who trust her. She strengthened that trust by creating opportunities, including bringing Chris Voss into a popular Clubhouse discussion, rather than relying only on an initial conversation or transactional request.

Q: What role did Clubhouse play in Nicole Behnam's networking?

Clubhouse gave Nicole Behnam a venue for creating valuable conversations and demonstrating her ability to convene people. She hosted a room called FBI negotiation tactics with Chris Voss, and the room reached capacity with an overflow audience. Participants included Mark Andre and Jared Leto. The event deepened Voss's trust in her and strengthened her association with him.

Q: Why does professional momentum sometimes decline?

Professional momentum can decline when someone becomes accustomed to opportunities arriving without sustained outreach or shifts attention to other work. Behnam paused her podcast while opening a podcast rental studio and producing and writing copy for other people and brands. When she returned to seeking sponsors, she noticed that she needed to rebuild her habit of persistent follow-up because circumstances and relevance change.

Q: Why are fundraising and sponsorship considered sales activities?

Fundraising and sponsorship require the same core behaviors as sales: clearly asking for a desired outcome, presenting value, pitching repeatedly, and following up. Behnam explains that people must deliberately enter this mindset when approaching potential sponsors. The host relates the same principle to venture capital and founders, noting that persistence is respected by people who have also had to hustle for opportunities.

Summary & Key Takeaways

• Nicole Behnam describes building her career through communication, bold outreach, and relationships rooted in trust. Seeking knowledge about success and life beyond traditional classrooms, she found role models among authors, entrepreneurs, investors, and unconventional thinkers, then created opportunities to learn by making herself genuinely useful to people she admired.

• Her relationship with Chris Voss began when she identified a practical weakness in his social media presence and proposed improvements. She persisted after his initial lack of interest, clarified that she was not pursuing his money, and eventually earned a conversation by demonstrating specific knowledge, confidence, and a willingness to contribute first.

• Behnam later strengthened that trust by bringing Voss onto a popular Clubhouse room about FBI negotiation tactics. She also discusses how momentum can fade when outreach stops, why sponsorship requires repeated follow-up, and why entrepreneurs, founders, investors, and podcast hosts must deliberately switch into a sales mindset when seeking opportunities or support.