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Get Too Obsessed When You Like Someone? WATCH THIS! | Matthew Hussey

698.8K views
•
April 3, 2022
by
Matthew Hussey
YouTube video player
Get Too Obsessed When You Like Someone? WATCH THIS! | Matthew Hussey

TL;DR

Early dating obsession occurs due to projection and unrealistic expectations, causing anxiety and self-sabotage.

Transcript

i wanted to make a video about the early stages of dating when we've been on a great date with someone maybe a couple of great dates and we've decided that we like them this is a moment in the dating process where obsession can very quickly occur we get anxious we start worrying about the situation we cannot get this person out of our mind and then... Read More

Key Insights

  • 💁 Early dating obsession often stems from projecting our own idealized version onto someone based on limited information.
  • 🤨 Projection raises expectations and anxiety, leading to self-sabotage in relationships.
  • 🧑‍🤝‍🧑 Using the phrase "we'll see" helps temper the obsession and bring a more balanced perspective to dating.
  • 🧑‍🤝‍🧑 Seeking validation from friends and peers can amplify early dating obsession.
  • 🧑‍🤝‍🧑 Being present in the dating process and taking time to truly get to know someone is crucial to avoid obsession and make informed decisions.
  • 🤳 Early dating obsession can affect our ability to bring our authentic selves to future interactions.
  • 👻 Overcoming early dating obsession requires aligning expectations with reality and allowing the relationship to unfold naturally.

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Questions & Answers

Q: Why do we obsess over someone we've just met?

We obsess over someone we've just met due to projection, where we fill in the gaps of what we know about them with our own idealized version of them based on limited information.

Q: How does projection lead to anxiety and self-sabotage?

Projection raises the stakes and puts the person and potential relationship on a pedestal, making us anxious about potentially losing something great. This anxiety can lead to self-sabotage as we become too focused on the future and not present in the moment.

Q: Why do we seek validation from others when we're obsessed with someone?

When we're obsessed with someone, we often seek validation from friends or peers by sharing the positive aspects of the person or relationship. This validation reinforces the obsession and increases our fear of losing something valuable.

Q: How can we overcome early dating obsession?

One way to overcome early dating obsession is to use the phrase "we'll see" as a powerful pressure valve. This phrase reminds us to temper our excitement, maintain a level-headed approach, and not jump to conclusions before fully getting to know the person.

Key Insights:

  • Early dating obsession often stems from projecting our own idealized version onto someone based on limited information.
  • Projection raises expectations and anxiety, leading to self-sabotage in relationships.
  • Using the phrase "we'll see" helps temper the obsession and bring a more balanced perspective to dating.
  • Seeking validation from friends and peers can amplify early dating obsession.
  • Being present in the dating process and taking time to truly get to know someone is crucial to avoid obsession and make informed decisions.
  • Early dating obsession can affect our ability to bring our authentic selves to future interactions.
  • Overcoming early dating obsession requires aligning expectations with reality and allowing the relationship to unfold naturally.
  • Putting effort into dating can feel frustrating, but a practical roadmap can help translate that effort into successful relationships.

Summary & Key Takeaways

  • Early dating obsession occurs when we become anxious and fixate on someone we've just met, projecting our idealized version of them onto the reality of the situation.

  • Projection leads to unhealthy expectations and raises the stakes, putting the person and potential relationship on a pedestal.

  • We must remind ourselves that our projection is not reality and focus on being present in the dating process.


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