How to Stop Feeling Inferior and Be Yourself

112.7K views
December 13, 2019
by
Mel Robbins
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How to Stop Feeling Inferior and Be Yourself

TL;DR

To overcome feelings of inferiority, focus on surrounding yourself with people who allow you to be your authentic self. If you're constantly trying to impress others and feel like a chameleon, you're likely with the wrong crowd. Seek out friends who energize you and make you feel comfortable, as true connections thrive when you can be real.

Transcript

hey everybody so this is an amazing question from Alan Allen's a 17 year old guy who wants advice about friends and he writes I'm 17 and this has been going on since I was 12 when I'm with cooler or popular guys I feel inferior and worthless which affects me and weirdly I try so hard to impress them and be like them like a chameleon I try to avoid ... Read More

Key Insights

  • 😮 Feeling inferior and trying to impress others is a common issue that many people face, especially during adolescence.
  • 🥺 Hanging out with the wrong group of friends can lead to a constant feeling of insecurity and discomfort.
  • 🤳 Being a people pleaser and trying to fit in by changing oneself only causes self-invalidation.
  • 🏃 Prioritizing popularity based on superficial traits can be detrimental in the long run.
  • 👻 True friends are those who make you feel comfortable and allow you to be your authentic self.
  • 😀 Finding genuine friends who make you feel energized and happy is essential for personal growth.
  • 🤩 Overcoming the need to please others and embracing your true self is the key to forming meaningful relationships.
  • 🎙️ More videos with Mel Robbins:

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Questions & Answers

Q: How can Alan overcome feeling inferior and trying to impress cooler friends?

Alan should realize that he doesn't have to hang out with people he doesn't like. The discomfort and need to be someone else indicate that he's with the wrong group. Finding friends who make him feel comfortable and confident is the key.

Q: Why are friends important, especially in high school?

Friends define the social structure and pecking order in high school. However, it's crucial to remember that prioritizing popularity based on superficial matters becomes insignificant in the long run.

Q: How can Alan deal with his people-pleasing habit?

Alan needs to understand that being a people pleaser hinders his growth and self-acceptance. By finding his tribe—people who make him feel like his true self—he can break free from the need to change for others and embrace his authentic self.

Q: What advice can help Alan find his true friends?

Alan should look for friends who make him feel energized, happy, and alive. These are the kind of people with whom he can be himself, without feeling the need to hide or be someone else.

Summary & Key Takeaways

  • A 17-year-old named Alan has been struggling with feeling inferior and trying to fit in with cooler or popular friends since he was 12.

  • The speaker advises Alan and everyone else that they don't have to hang out with people they don't like and feel uncomfortable around.

  • Relationships only work when you can be your true self, and finding friends who make you feel energized and comfortable is crucial.


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