KENDALL JENNER ON: Setting Boundaries & Putting Yourself First For SUCCESS & HAPPINESS | Jay Shetty

TL;DR

Kendall Jenner found greater happiness by setting work boundaries, saying no when she could, and prioritizing her well-being. After roughly five core years of feeling overworked, she changed course at about age 23 because she feared that continuing would make her lose herself. Her experience shows how trusting that missed jobs will not derail everything can create a healthier balance. Read on for her approach to protecting happiness and success.

Transcript

what would you say for you as being one of your like proudest moments or greatest achievements or something that you really feel like and internally I mean like for the basis of our conversation like something that really brings you Joy internally when you think about it or when when you had it like I said I look back and the things that I've accom... Read More

Key Insights

• Deciding on a goal early and executing it fully is a genuine source of pride. Kendall Jenner decided at 14 that she wanted to be a model, asked her mom for help, and did not stop pursuing it until she was 24.
• Overwork can erode happiness even when you love the work itself. During roughly five core years, Jenner felt overwhelmed and unhappy because she kept saying yes to everything out of gratitude for her position.
• Setting boundaries requires more courage when you have everything to lose than when you have nothing. Jenner set boundaries around age 23, about a year before the pandemic, despite people warning her not to stop.
• Saying no can make you show up better for yourself and others. After setting boundaries, Jenner felt she could be a better person for the people around her and those she worked with each day.
• Trusting that things will work out enables letting go. Jenner reached a point of accepting she would be okay if she didn't get a job tomorrow or next month, believing everything works out as it should.
• Reclaiming small pleasures matters as much as big changes. With her newfound time, Jenner valued simple things like attending a friend's birthday party, which her heavy work schedule had previously prevented.
• Happiness that depends on others' actions leaves you at the mercy of things you cannot control. Jenner treats being happy as a core goal and refuses to let external opinions determine her sense of well-being.
• Affirmation and self-talk anchor identity against false narratives. Jenner looks in the mirror and reassures herself of who she is, trusting that her friends, family, and even her dog and horse know her true self.

Questions & Answers

Q: How did Kendall Jenner set boundaries to find happiness?

At about age 23, Kendall Jenner decided to start saying no when she could while continuing the modeling work she loved. She prioritized her happiness and well-being because she felt that pushing further could make her lose herself. She says the change helped her show up better for herself and the people around her.

Q: Why was Kendall Jenner unhappy despite loving modeling?

Jenner says she was extremely overworked during roughly five core years of her career. She kept saying yes because she felt grateful and honored to have her position, but the constant workload overwhelmed her and eventually left her unhappy.

Q: When did Kendall Jenner begin setting work boundaries?

Jenner says she set firm boundaries when she was about 23 or 24, approximately a year before the pandemic. She ultimately identifies 23 as the likely age when she made the change.

Q: How did Kendall Jenner know she needed to slow down?

She felt that she was on the edge of losing herself and believed she would not be in a good place if she continued. Feeling well mattered enough to her that she knew slowing down was necessary, even when people around her urged her not to stop or say no.

Q: Why was saying no difficult for Kendall Jenner?

Some people around Jenner told her not to say no or stop working. She says she had to fight her way out of the situation partly because some people who worked for her benefited from her continuing. Despite that pressure, she believed boundaries would make her better for herself and everyone around her.

Q: How did Kendall Jenner overcome the fear of missing modeling jobs?

Jenner accepted that she would be okay if she did not get a job the next day or even a month later. She trusted that taking necessary time for herself would not prevent other opportunities from coming and that things would work out as they were supposed to.

Q: What achievement is Kendall Jenner most proud of?

Jenner is proud that she decided at age 14 to become a model, asked her mother for help, and pursued the goal with determination. She continued pushing until about age 24, but says she is even more proud of the internal work she completed during that journey.

Q: How did setting boundaries affect Kendall Jenner's work and relationships?

Jenner says prioritizing her well-being did wonders for her. By protecting her happiness, she felt able to show up better for herself, the people around her, and the people she worked with each day.

Summary

In this video, Kendall Jenner discusses her proudest moments and greatest achievements. She shares how she pursued her dream of being a model and the self-work she has done along the way. She talks about the importance of setting boundaries and prioritizing one's happiness. The conversation also touches on topics like courage, navigating the competitive industry, and the belief that being happy is essential. Kendall shares her journey of finding balance and taking time for herself, as well as the qualities of her higher self. The discussion emphasizes the need to see individuals in their complexity rather than reducing them to a singular view.

Questions & Answers

Q: What is one of your proudest moments or greatest achievements?

For me, one of my proudest moments is when I pursued my dream of being a model. It was something I decided at a young age and worked towards for many years. Executing that dream and reaching the level I have achieved brings me immense joy and pride.

Q: How did you find the courage to set boundaries and say no to certain things?

At around 23 years old, I reached a point where I was overworked and overwhelmed. I realized that if I continued on that path, I would lose myself. It was important for me to prioritize my well-being and happiness. While there were people telling me not to say no, I knew deep down that I had to do it. It was an indescribable sensation, knowing that making that choice would ultimately make me better for myself and the people around me.

Q: In a competitive industry like yours, where there's comparison and pressure, how did you have the courage to prioritize your happiness?

Prioritizing happiness in a competitive industry can be challenging, but I knew that my well-being was more important than anything else. I didn't want my happiness to depend on the actions of others or external validation. I learned to talk positively to myself, using words of affirmation and reassurance. I also recognized that false narratives exist about me, and I focused on staying true to who I am, regardless of what others may say or think.

Q: What did you do with the newfound time and freedom after setting boundaries?

With the newfound time, I allowed myself to enjoy simple things. I could attend my friend's birthday party, which wasn't possible when I was constantly working. I also started indulging in the activities that brought me joy, such as horse riding. It was a time of rediscovery and reconnecting with things that truly made me happy.

Q: What qualities does your higher self possess?

My higher self is confident and compassionate. I don't like dwelling on negativity or engaging in self-pity. Instead, I embrace positive self-talk and affirmations. It's about knowing who I am, even when faced with unfair criticism or false narratives. This belief in my higher self allows me to hold onto my happiness and not let others affect it.

Q: How do you navigate perceptions and the tendency to put people in boxes?

I believe that everyone is multidimensional, and it's essential to recognize that. People often create singular views of others based on limited knowledge or impressions from social media. It's crucial to remember that we are all complex and that no one truly knows the full picture of who we are. Instead of seeking validation from others' perceptions, I focus on my own beliefs and the opinions of those who truly know and understand me.

Q: How do you handle the pressure of social media and external opinions?

Social media can be overwhelming and lead to comparison and negativity. To counter this, I aim to live in alignment with my higher self. I hold onto my happiness and refuse to allow others' opinions to define me. I remind myself of the people who know and love the real me, like my family, friends, and even my pets. By focusing on my own happiness and surrounding myself with supportive people, I navigate the pressure of social media more effectively.

Q: How do you stay grounded and confident in a fast-paced industry?

Staying grounded and confident involves self-reflection and reminding myself of my worth. I practice affirmations and spend time with my thoughts, acknowledging my strengths, beauty, and loyalty. I focus on the person I am beyond the industry's demands and the external perceptions. This inner confidence helps me navigate the industry's challenges and stay true to myself.

Q: How did you learn to prioritize your own happiness and well-being?

I realized that external recognition and success weren't enough to sustain my happiness in the long run. I wanted to feel genuinely good and fulfilled, which required prioritizing my own well-being. This realization led me to set boundaries, say no when necessary, and engage in activities that truly brought me happiness. Prioritizing myself has allowed me to show up as a better person for myself and those around me.

Q: What advice do you have for others struggling to prioritize their happiness?

My advice would be to trust in yourself and prioritize your well-being. It's essential to know who you are beyond external expectations and the opinions of others. Take the time to explore what truly brings you joy and make it a priority in your life. Remember that happiness comes from within and should not depend on the actions or perceptions of others.

Takeaways

Kendall Jenner's journey in pursuing her dreams and finding happiness teaches us important lessons. Setting boundaries and prioritizing our well-being takes courage, especially in competitive industries. It's crucial to recognize our multidimensional nature and not let others' perceptions define us. By grounding ourselves in our own beliefs and values, practicing self-affirmation, and surrounding ourselves with supportive people, we can navigate the pressures of social media and embrace our happiness. Prioritizing our well-being is essential for personal growth and the ability to show up as the best version of ourselves.

Summary & Key Takeaways

• Kendall Jenner decided at 14 that she wanted to be a model, asked her mom for help, and pursued it with determination until about 24. She is proud of executing that goal, but even prouder of the internal self-work she did throughout the demanding process.

• During roughly five core years she was extremely overworked and unhappy, not because she disliked the work but because she felt overwhelmed from constantly saying yes out of gratitude. Around age 23, about a year before the pandemic, she set boundaries and began saying no when she could.

• Prioritizing her happiness let her show up better for herself and others. She reconnected with horse riding, embraced small joys, and grounds her identity in a 'higher goddess' self through affirmation, refusing to let external opinions or false narratives control her well-being.