Dr Julie Smith ON: Unblocking Negative Emotions & How to Embrace Difficult Feelings

Transcript

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Summary

In this video, Dr. Julie Smith, a clinical psychologist, discusses various topics related to mental health, including the challenges people face, the importance of understanding one's own mind and body, managing low moods, and finding motivation. She also touches on the concept of blocking emotions, the impact of avoiding emotions, and the difference between thoughts, feelings, and emotions. Additionally, she offers insights on how to support someone who is grieving and provides guidance on what to say or do in such situations.

Questions & Answers

Q: What challenges do people often face when seeking therapy?

One common challenge is the expectation that therapy is something done to them, rather than recognizing the potential for self-empowerment and learning to influence their own emotions. Many individuals lack the education and understanding of how their mind and body work, leading them to feel at the mercy of their emotions. Yet, with the right information and tools, people can take control of their mental health and well-being.

Q: Why do we tend to outsource our well-being and look for someone to solve our problems?

This behavior may be due to a lack of knowledge about the things we can do to help ourselves. Society also reinforces the idea that something is wrong with us that needs fixing, leading companies to market products and services as a solution to our issues. Furthermore, there is a lack of education surrounding mental health, which makes it difficult for individuals to manage their own well-being. However, once people gain awareness and information about how they can positively influence their emotions, they become more empowered to take charge of their health.

Q: How should we approach days or weeks when we feel stuck and unmotivated?

It is important to recognize that experiencing low moods is a normal part of being human. Rather than judging ourselves or comparing our feelings to others, we should acknowledge these emotions and explore the possible causes. By identifying any unmet needs and taking steps to address them, we can help alleviate these feelings. It's crucial to understand that our emotions fluctuate, and we have the power to influence how we feel. Instead of blocking or avoiding emotions, we can learn to welcome and accept them as part of our human experience.

Q: What happens when we try to avoid emotions or block them out?

When we engage in blocking behaviors to avoid certain emotions, we might unintentionally block out all emotions, including joy, pleasure, and love. This can lead to a sense of numbness and questioning of one's own emotions and relationships. Avoiding emotions can also limit our ability to experience meaning and enjoyment in life. It is essential to develop a healthier relationship with emotions, allowing them to come and go without judgment or suppression.

Q: How can we develop the skill to do things when we don't feel like doing them?

Developing the ability to take action even when we lack motivation is a valuable skill. It starts with understanding that motivation fluctuates, and we cannot rely on it to always be present. Instead, we should focus on our values and why certain actions are important to us. By tapping into our values and having clear goals aligned with them, we can stay committed even on days when we don't feel like it. It also helps to practice recognizing and resisting urges to block or avoid tasks, allowing ourselves to act opposite to those urges.

Q: What are the differences between thoughts, feelings, and emotions?

Thoughts refer to the narratives and internal dialogue we have in our minds, while feelings encompass the experiences and sensations we have within our bodies. Emotions are a broader term that involves both thoughts and feelings, as well as physical responses and behavioral tendencies. Each individual may have a greater awareness of one aspect over the others. It is crucial to recognize and label our thoughts, feelings, and emotions to better understand our internal experiences and communicate effectively.

Q: How should we approach supporting someone who is grieving?

Rather than worrying about saying the perfect thing or trying to change how the person feels, it is essential to express empathy and let them know that their distress matters to you. Instead of providing specific advice, focus on listening and being present for them. Asking open-ended questions can help initiate a conversation and show your willingness to understand and support them. It is also okay to admit if you're unsure of what to say or how to help, as long as you express your genuine care and desire to be there for them.

Takeaways

Supporting someone who is grieving requires empathy, active listening, and a willingness to understand their needs. Instead of trying to change their emotions, focus on expressing your care, acknowledging their pain, and offering a listening ear. Open-ended questions can help initiate a conversation, and admitting your uncertainty about what to say shows your genuine desire to support them. Remember that grief is an individual experience, and everyone may cope differently.