Bob Sutton: How to Outwit Workplace Jerks [Entire Talk]

TL;DR

Deal with workplace jerks by assessing how long the behavior will last, distinguishing temporary misconduct from a persistent pattern, and crafting a strategy suited to the situation. Before blaming others, examine your own behavior and biases. Hostility can damage health and performance, spread through emotional contagion, and attract similarly destructive people into the same organization.

Transcript

(clapping) - Great to see you all. Welcome to the STVP, now classic series. Are we over 20 years, Tom? - [Tom] About 15. - Yeah, seems like it's been going on a long time. And, I think this is the fifth or sixth time I have talked, it's only my second talk about assholes, I talk about other topics as well. Let me describe kind of the adventure that... Read More

Key Insights

• A workplace jerk is someone whose conduct leaves other people feeling demeaned, deenergized, and disrespected. This definition focuses on the effects of behavior rather than job title, personality, or whether the person responsible has achieved professional success.
• Exposure to abusive workplace behavior is associated in the research Sutton discusses with anxiety, depression, physical health problems, and weaker performance. He cites a longitudinal study from the United Kingdom in which people with abusive supervisors were more likely to experience fatal heart attacks.
• Professional success does not erase the damage caused by destructive conduct. Sutton argues that even if hostile behavior helps someone rise through a hierarchy, the surrounding people perform worse, so that person may reach the top while simultaneously damaging the organization.
• Negative emotion is more contagious than positive emotion, according to the research Sutton summarizes. Spending time around nasty people can therefore influence others to adopt similar feelings or behavior, expanding a problem that may have begun with only one person.
• Destructive personalities tend to attract similar personalities. Sutton says Machiavellian people prefer other Machiavellians, narcissists prefer other narcissists, and workplace jerks may hire or associate with people like themselves, creating environments where harmful behavior becomes increasingly concentrated.
• Human judgment is strongly biased toward blaming other people for personal problems. Sutton recommends using a deliberate correction: be slow to label another person a jerk and quick to consider whether your own conduct is contributing to the conflict.
• A useful response strategy depends partly on the expected duration of exposure. A hostile coffee customer may disappear after about five minutes, while an abusive boss or a customer relationship lasting 25 years may require a more substantial and organized response.
• Temporary misconduct is different from a persistent pattern of abuse. Sutton emphasizes that anyone can behave badly under the wrong conditions, so an effective assessment should distinguish an isolated lapse from the repeated conduct of what he calls a certified jerk.

Questions & Answers

Q: What is a workplace jerk according to Bob Sutton?

A workplace jerk is a person whose behavior leaves others feeling demeaned, deenergized, and disrespected. Sutton's definition centers on the effect that conduct has on other people. It can include temper tantrums, yelling, belittling, violent expressions of anger, or other actions that release one person's misery into the surrounding workplace.

Q: How can workplace jerks affect employee health?

Workplace hostility can contribute to anxiety, depression, sleep difficulties, physical health problems, and strain within an employee's family. Sutton also refers to a longitudinal study in the United Kingdom in which people who had abusive supervisors were more likely to suffer fatal heart attacks, illustrating that the consequences can extend beyond discomfort at work.

Q: Why does hostile behavior spread through a workplace?

Hostile behavior spreads partly because negative emotion is more contagious than positive emotion. Sutton says that people who spend time around nasty colleagues can catch their negativity. He also describes research suggesting that workplace jerks prefer to hire and associate with similar people, allowing destructive conduct to become concentrated and reinforced within an organization.

Q: Do workplace jerks succeed professionally?

A hostile person may sometimes reach the top of a hierarchy, but the evidence Sutton discusses shows that the people around that person do not perform as well. His conclusion is that destructive conduct may help an individual climb while simultaneously weakening the system being climbed, so individual advancement does not demonstrate organizational benefit.

Q: How should you decide what to do about a workplace jerk?

Begin by examining the specific circumstances rather than relying on a universal formula. Sutton recommends considering how long the exposure will last, how severe and persistent the behavior is, and whether the person is showing a temporary lapse or an enduring pattern. These factors help determine how much effort and mobilization the situation warrants.

Q: Why should you hesitate before labeling someone a jerk?

People have strong cognitive biases that encourage them to blame others for their own problems. Sutton therefore recommends being slow to label another person a jerk and quick to examine your own conduct. This does not excuse mistreatment, but it helps correct for biased judgment and recognizes that conflicts are often more complicated than a division between bad people and good people.

Q: What is the difference between a temporary and certified workplace jerk?

A temporary workplace jerk behaves badly under particular conditions, while a certified jerk displays a more persistent pattern. Sutton notes that everyone can become unpleasant in the wrong circumstances and that experimental psychologists can produce such behavior in randomly assigned laboratory conditions. The distinction prevents an isolated lapse from being treated automatically as a permanent character judgment.

Q: Why is there no universal strategy for handling workplace jerks?

Workplace conflicts are too varied and messy for one decision tree to prescribe the correct response in every case. Sutton spent months trying to develop such a framework but concluded that people must craft strategies suited to their circumstances. A brief encounter with a hostile customer differs greatly from years under an abusive boss or long-term client.

Summary

In this video, the speaker discusses his research and experience on dealing with assholes in the workplace. He shares stories and provides advice on how to navigate toxic environments and handle difficult individuals. The speaker emphasizes the importance of understanding power dynamics, avoiding and detaching from negative interactions, fighting back strategically, and using humor to diffuse tense situations.

Questions & Answers

Q: How did the speaker become interested in the topic of assholes in the workplace?

The speaker became interested in the topic after writing an article for the Harvard Business Review, inspired by his experiences with a no asshole rule in his department and his wife's experiences managing a law firm. The overwhelming response he received led him to write a book on the subject.

Q: What was the speaker's initial intention with his first book?

The speaker intended for his first book, titled "The No Asshole Rule," to provide guidance on building organizational cultures free of jerks. He wanted to help create more respectful and productive work environments.

Q: What was the main question the speaker received from readers and colleagues after the release of his first book?

The speaker received many inquiries from people dealing with assholes in their workplace, asking for advice on how to handle these individuals or situations.

Q: Is the speaker qualified to offer advice on dealing with assholes?

The speaker holds a PhD in psychology and has extensive experience studying and addressing assholes in the workplace. Although readers and viewers can judge the effectiveness of his advice, his qualifications make him suitable to provide guidance.

Q: Why did the speaker resist answering questions about dealing with assholes for a decade?

While the speaker had the knowledge and expertise to address the topic, he refrained from giving direct advice due to the complexity and personal nature of each situation. He wanted people to understand that there is no one-size-fits-all solution and that crafting individual strategies is essential.

Q: What is the distinction between temporary assholes and certified assholes?

Temporary assholes are individuals who under specific circumstances, such as stress or pressure, exhibit jerk-like behavior. Certified assholes, on the other hand, consistently mistreat and demean others across different times and places. Dealing with temporary assholes might require different strategies compared to dealing with certified assholes.

Q: How is power a factor in dealing with assholes?

Power dynamics play a significant role in how one can address asshole behavior. Individuals at the top of a hierarchy may have the ability to fire or confront assholes directly, while those at the bottom may need to find alternative strategies to protect themselves. Understanding the power dynamics in a situation helps determine the best approach.

Q: How does the contagious nature of negative emotions affect dealing with assholes?

Negative emotions, such as those caused by assholes, are more contagious than positive emotions. Research shows that being around nasty people makes it more likely for others to exhibit such behavior as well. Assholes also tend to attract and hire individuals with similar traits.

Q: What are some guidelines for dealing with asshole situations?

It is important to consider the duration of the situation and whether it is worth enduring or leaving. Distinguishing between temporary and certified assholes is crucial, as different handling strategies may be necessary. The number of assholes in a given environment and the extent of the damage caused should also be taken into account.

Q: What are some methods for limiting exposure to assholes?

Sitting further away from assholes, finding ways to avoid them, and reducing the frequency of encounters can help limit exposure. Open office environments, in particular, can be challenging, but finding a safety zone or collaborating with colleagues to monitor and warn about asshole behavior can be helpful.

Q: How does cognitive behavioral therapy tie into dealing with assholes?

Cognitive behavioral therapy techniques, such as changing one's perception of a situation or person, can help reduce the negative impact of asshole behavior. Focusing on humor, empathy, or distancing oneself from the situation can be effective strategies. Temporal distancing, where one imagines looking back on the situation from the future, can also reduce anxiety and sadness.

Takeaways

Dealing with assholes in the workplace is a common challenge faced by many individuals. Understanding power dynamics, limiting exposure, and strategically fighting back are among the various strategies that can help mitigate the impact of asshole behavior. It is crucial to be aware of one's own self-biases and to approach each situation or individual with a customized strategy. Additionally, humor, empathy, and cognitive behavioral therapy techniques can aid in managing and diffusing the negative effects of assholes.

Summary & Key Takeaways

• Bob Sutton defines a workplace jerk as someone whose behavior leaves others feeling demeaned, deenergized, and disrespected. Drawing from personal messages and behavioral research, he describes consequences that include anxiety, depression, physical health problems, family difficulties, and reduced performance among the people who endure hostile conduct.

• Hostile behavior is contagious because negative emotion spreads more readily than positive emotion. Sutton also says destructive personalities tend to seek out, hire, and associate with similar people. This combination can concentrate misconduct within a workplace, allowing harmful behavior to spread beyond one difficult person and shape the broader organizational culture.

• No universal decision tree can resolve every encounter with a workplace jerk because circumstances differ. A useful response begins by considering the duration of exposure and whether the behavior is temporary or persistent. Sutton also recommends correcting for personal bias by labeling others slowly and examining one's own possible misconduct quickly.