How Do You Control Your Emotions? (The Tactic That Changed My Life...)

TL;DR

You control difficult emotions by recognizing that they are separate from you, allowing them to be present, and breathing into them until they naturally pass. The speaker presents a two-step exercise: first observe the emotion through mindfulness, then bring it close rather than resisting it, like safely approaching a flame or a spider in a jar. Read on for the full technique and why fighting a feeling can intensify it.

Transcript

and all right guys what is going on welcome back to another video on the self-developed youtube channel hopefully you are having an amazing day as always guys comment down below where you from what time is it and hashtag self-developed army anyways guys in this video i believe i titled it i did title it control your emotions now what do i mean by t... Read More

Key Insights

• 🌸 Emotions often intensify during cathartic seasonal changes, such as in spring.
• 💪 Attempting to control emotions typically results in the opposite effect, making feelings stronger.
• 🆘 Accepting emotions as transient can help reduce their damaging impact.
• 🦻 Visualization techniques can aid in confronting and understanding emotions more effectively.
• 🧘 Mindfulness meditation fosters a healthy relationship with emotions by promoting observation and acceptance.
• 😀 Personal experiences shared by the speaker resonate with common emotional challenges faced by many.
• 🫵 Emotions should be viewed as separate from one’s identity to improve emotional management.

Questions & Answers

Q: How can you control your emotions?

Recognize that you are separate from the emotion, then allow it to exist without fighting or suppressing it. Breathe into the feeling and bring it close until it naturally passes.

Q: Why can trying to control emotions make them stronger?

The speaker says that fighting, ruminating on, or grasping an emotion gives it energy and holds it in place. This creates a catch-22 in which the attempt to control the emotion allows it to control you.

Q: What is the first step for handling a difficult emotion?

The first step is to realize that you are not the emotion. The speaker compares this to seeing a burning candle and recognizing that you are observing the flame rather than being the flame.

Q: What is the second step in the speaker’s emotional-control technique?

After separating your identity from the emotion, bring the feeling as close as possible instead of pushing it away. The speaker describes this as hugging the emotion, feeling it fully, and breathing into it until it loses its power.

Q: How does mindfulness meditation help with emotions?

The speaker describes mindfulness meditation as viewing an emotion as separate from yourself while breathing. This allows the emotion to be present and leave naturally rather than being prolonged through resistance.

Q: What do the candle and spider metaphors explain about emotions?

The candle represents an emotion that initially feels hot and painful when brought close, while the spider in a glass jar represents a fear that appears threatening but cannot harm you. Both metaphors encourage approaching and accepting the feeling until it becomes less frightening and vanishes.

Q: Why does the speaker connect spring with heightened emotions?

The speaker describes spring as a cathartic outward expression of pent-up emotion, trauma, and ups and downs experienced during winter. Just as plants naturally bud after winter, he suggests allowing emotions to rise, blossom, and pass without forcing or resisting them.

Q: What personal experience led the speaker to discuss emotional control?

In the weeks leading up to spring, the speaker says his anxiety was higher than it had been in quite a while. He took CBD oil to calm down even though he had not used it for years, and he also describes experiencing potent emotions associated with OCD.

Summary & Key Takeaways

• The video discusses the significance of controlling one's emotions, particularly during the cathartic spring season when pent-up feelings emerge.

• The presenter emphasizes that attempting to control emotions often leads to their increased intensity; instead, allowing them to surface naturally is more effective.

• Practical advice is provided using analogies, suggesting viewing emotions like flames or spiders, encouraging viewers to face and embrace their feelings rather than resist them.