How To Become Better At Relationships

TL;DR

Becoming better at relationships starts with knowing your triggers and needs, asking clearly for what you want, and learning to work through difficult conversations. Logan Yuri also recommends responding thoughtfully to bids for connection, setting boundaries, and using non-violent communication with a specific observation, emotion, need, and request. Read on for practical ways to strengthen communication, intimacy, and sexual connection.

Transcript

hey friends welcome back to the channel this is a clip from my interview with logan yuri the behavioral scientist turned relationships therapist to turn best-selling author of the book how to not die alone and in this clip logan is sharing her tips on how to become better at relationships and how to be a better life partner we might think that we s... Read More

Key Insights

• 🤳 Self-awareness and knowing triggers are essential for maintaining confidence in relationships.
• 🚱 Difficult conversations and non-violent communication skills can strengthen relationship dynamics.
• 💄 Making bids to connect with your partner fosters intimacy and emotional connection.
• 🔬 Understanding sexual dynamics and investing in sexual skills can improve satisfaction in relationships.
• 🧍 Communication, boundaries, and learning to stand up for yourself are crucial for healthy relationships.
• 👾 GGG concept by Dan Savage emphasizes being skillful, generous, and game in sexual relationships.
• 🛟 Prioritizing intimate connections and investing in improving the sex life can enhance overall relationship satisfaction.

Questions & Answers

Q: How can you become better at relationships?

Know your triggers, understand what keeps you calm and confident, and learn to ask for what you need. You should also practice difficult conversations, establish boundaries, respond to bids for connection, and invest in sexual communication and skills.

Q: Why is self-awareness important in a relationship?

Self-awareness helps you recognize situations that move you from feeling safe and confident into a danger zone. For example, an anxiously attached person may become upset when a traveling partner does not stay in touch, so identifying that trigger makes it possible to request clearer communication.

Q: Does a happy relationship require couples to avoid fighting?

No; Logan Yuri says that never fighting is not necessarily something couples should optimize for. Friction can reflect passion, and the important skill is learning to discuss problems and work through them together.

Q: How does non-violent communication work?

Start by naming a specific event, then state the emotion you felt and the need connected to that emotion. Finish with a specific request that the other person can accept or discuss with you.

Q: What is an example of non-violent communication?

Logan describes saying that not being included in a decision made her feel sad because of her need for inclusion. The next step is to make a specific request about what should happen in the future.

Q: What are bids for connection in a relationship?

Bids are attempts to connect with a partner, such as wanting to talk while the other person is working. Turning toward a bid could mean closing the laptop to listen or asking to continue the conversation in 20 minutes.

Q: What does Dan Savage's GGG concept mean?

GGG stands for good, giving, and game. It means developing sexual skills, being generous in bed, and being willing to experiment or consider what a partner wants within reason.

Q: How can couples improve their sexual connection?

Partners can learn how their own bodies and each other's bodies work, ask for what they want, and give feedback. They can also build skills, practice generosity, and remain open to reasonable experimentation.

Summary & Key Takeaways

• Logan Yuri, a relationships therapist, emphasizes knowing oneself and triggers to maintain confidence in relationships.

• Learning to have difficult conversations and using frameworks like non-violent communication can strengthen relationships.

• Making bids to connect with your partner, understanding sexual dynamics, and investing in sexual skills can also improve relationships.