From People Pleaser to Boundary Boss with Terri Cole | Summary and Q&A

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April 19, 2021
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The Marie Forleo Podcast
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From People Pleaser to Boundary Boss with Terri Cole

TL;DR

Terry Cole shares insights on setting boundaries, overcoming codependency, and communicating effectively.

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Key Insights

  • 😫 Setting boundaries requires understanding the distinction between preferences, desires, and deal breakers.
  • 😨 Overcoming high functioning codependency involves learning to say no and prioritize self-care.
  • 🌍 Real-world scripts can serve as valuable tools for effectively communicating boundaries in various situations.
  • 🥺 Recognizing what is not within one's control and asserting boundaries with "not my circus, not my monkeys" mindset can lead to healthier relationships.

Transcript

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Questions & Answers

Q: What is high functioning codependency, and how can it impact relationships?

High functioning codependency refers to over-giving and over-stepping boundaries while still being able to function well, ultimately leading to emotional exhaustion and unfulfilling relationships.

Q: How can understanding preferences, desires, and deal breakers contribute to setting healthy boundaries?

Recognizing and communicating preferences, desires, and deal breakers empowers individuals to uphold their values and needs, fostering more authentic and fulfilling relationships.

Q: How can implementing real-world scripts enhance communication when setting boundaries?

Real-world scripts provide practical language for asserting boundaries gracefully and effectively, helping individuals navigate challenging conversations and maintain clear communication.

Q: What does "not my circus, not my monkeys" mean in the context of setting boundaries?

"Not my circus, not my monkeys" signifies recognizing what is beyond one's responsibility or control, allowing individuals to prioritize self-care and set boundaries in relationships more effectively.

Summary & Key Takeaways

  • Terry Cole discusses her journey from being a talent agent to a psychotherapist, highlighting the importance of setting boundaries in empowerment.

  • Understanding the distinction between preferences, desires, and deal breakers is crucial for establishing healthy boundaries in relationships.

  • Learning to say no with ease and grace, practicing real-world scripts, and recognizing what is "not my circus, not my monkeys" can help maintain boundaries effectively.

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