The SECRET To Building STRONGER & HEALTHIER Relationships For SUCCESS | Kelly Rowland & Jay Shetty

TL;DR

Understanding others starts with understanding yourself and being willing to call out your own faults. Kelly Rowland credits faith, service, and two role-model mothers for teaching her that giving makes her feel whole, and she says admitting when she is wrong is the foundation of lasting relationships with her son, husband, and community of women.

Transcript

we sometimes hate to be the one that is inflicting pain or inflicting the misunderstanding and you don't you don't mean to do it of course but i think that life just books experience relationships they all teach you like understanding comes with understanding yourself and understanding others as well but i do think that you have to have this level ... Read More

Key Insights

• Understanding others begins with understanding yourself, according to Kelly Rowland, who says you must recognize your own patterns, admit 'I know that I do that, it's probably wrong,' and be able to call it out.
• Personal accountability is central to strong relationships, with Rowland describing admitting she was wrong and choosing humility and patience as the strategies that build lasting, supportive bonds.
• Giving is presented as a source of wholeness rather than obligation, as Rowland repeatedly says serving and supporting others 'makes me feel good from the inside' and makes her feel whole.
• Rowland grew up with little, living with her mother and great aunts, and once asked Santa only for a red rocking chair like her aunt Lillian's, having learned not to ask for much.
• Teaching children to give matters as much as receiving, so after going overboard with presents for her son Titan, Rowland scaled back to help him understand the importance of giving.
• Rowland was shaped by two mothers, her own mom and Tina, Beyonce's mom, whom she calls 'mama T,' both of whom modeled hard work, sacrifice, and cheerful giving.
• Gratitude can still be expressed to someone after they pass away, as Rowland describes praying to thank her late mother years later once she finally understood the sacrifices her mother had made.
• Rowland channels her second pregnancy into service through Baby2Baby, providing essential basic needs to children and families, saying 'no child asked to come into this world.'

Questions & Answers

Q: What is the secret to building stronger relationships according to Kelly Rowland?

Kelly Rowland says understanding comes with understanding yourself as well as understanding others. She stresses having a level of self-awareness, recognizing your own patterns, and being honest enough to admit 'I know that I do that, it's probably wrong.' When you see that behavior, she says you have to be able to call it out. The description adds that admitting she was wrong and choosing humility and patience are strategies she has cultivated for lasting, supportive relationships.

Q: How does Kelly Rowland teach her children about giving?

After her son Titan was born, Kelly Rowland admits she went a little crazy with presents. She realized she had to scale it back so he could understand how important giving is, not just receiving. She grew up with a strong emphasis on giving in her household, and she wants her children to learn the same value, treating generosity as something as meaningful as getting gifts.

Q: Who were Kelly Rowland's role models growing up?

Kelly Rowland says she had two mothers growing up. Her own mother, who has since passed away, worked extremely hard and modeled faith-based giving in church and service. Her second mother figure was Tina, Beyonce's mom, whom she calls 'mama T,' who was also always giving, whether tithing in church or helping a young woman build a charity. Both taught Rowland to be a cheerful giver.

Q: Why does giving make Kelly Rowland feel whole?

Kelly Rowland attributes her giving nature to family, faith, and having been in a position where she did not have everything and knew what it felt like to want help. She says being a cheerful giver makes her feel good from the inside. She believes everyone is here to serve a purpose and be responsible, and fulfilling that responsibility is what makes her feel whole and complete.

Q: How did Kelly Rowland come to appreciate her mother's sacrifice?

Kelly Rowland says she did not really appreciate her mother's sacrifice until after she passed away. Maybe two or three years after her passing, she had a moment where she understood why her mother did what she did. She took a quiet moment, said a prayer, and thanked her mother, saying she now understood how hard it was. She describes finding forgiveness she did not realize she needed.

Q: What charity work is Kelly Rowland involved with during her pregnancy?

Kelly Rowland has been a Baby2Baby angel for a couple of years. The organization provides essential basic needs for children and their families. During her second pregnancy she chose to do a virtual baby shower focused on giving to others, reasoning that she already had everything from her first son Titan's birth, so she wanted to provide for someone else in need instead of accumulating more for herself.

Q: How did Kelly Rowland adapt her baby shower this year?

Kelly Rowland held her baby shower virtually this year, which was different from before. She reflected that while she was safe at home with everything she needed, other people did not have what they needed. Since she already had items like a crib from Titan's birth, she directed the occasion toward giving to others through her community of women and Baby2Baby, treating essential support for families as necessary work.

Q: What does Kelly Rowland say about expressing gratitude to loved ones who have passed away?

Kelly Rowland demonstrates that you can still express gratitude to someone after they die. Years after her mother passed, she said a prayer thanking her for her sacrifice. Jay Shetty highlights this as a powerful message, encouraging anyone who has lost someone to still pray, send love, and offer gratitude to that person whether they are physically present or not. Shetty shares that he lost a spiritual mentor to stage four brain cancer this year.

Summary

In this podcast episode, the host interviews Kelly Rowland, an artist and TV personality, about motherhood, self-understanding, and building supportive relationships. Kelly shares her experiences growing up with two maternal figures, her journey in naming her children, and the importance of therapy in her life. She also discusses the challenges she has overcome and the power of creating a supportive ecosystem of friends.

Questions & Answers

Q: What excites you about the holiday season and how do you make it special for your kids?

Kelly recalls her childhood experiences during the holidays, where gifts were limited but giving was emphasized. She shares how she went a little overboard with presents for her son initially but now focuses on teaching him the importance of giving. She also mentions her love for holiday movies and the incredible opportunity to star in a Christmas movie.

Q: How was it to have a virtual baby shower?

Kelly explains that she opted for a virtual baby shower because she wanted to support others in need. She highlights the importance of giving back and mentions her involvement with Baby2Baby, an organization supporting children and families in need. Kelly wanted to ensure that other families also had the essentials they needed for their babies, as she had everything from her first child.

Q: How did you develop your mindset of giving and supporting others?

Kelly attributes her mindset of giving and supporting others to her upbringing and the example set by her mother and Beyoncé's mother, Tina. She expresses gratitude for having two strong maternal figures who taught her the values of giving, sacrifice, and being a cheerful giver. Additionally, her faith has played a significant role in fostering this mindset.

Q: How did having two powerful role models impact you?

Kelly reflects on her relationship with her mother, who taught her about faith and giving, and her second mother, Tina Knowles, who also demonstrated the importance of giving. She didn't fully appreciate her mother's sacrifices until after her passing, leading her to express gratitude and forgiveness. Kelly emphasizes the impact of both role models in shaping her values and making her feel whole.

Q: How have you navigated the self-critical part of yourself and developed self-compassion?

Kelly admits to being highly self-critical in the past and constantly talking herself out of things. Through therapy and tapping sessions, she explored those self-critical tendencies and realized the importance of addressing unforgiveness. Kelly acknowledges the need for patience, self-reflection, and gratitude, as well as surrounding oneself with patient and understanding people.

Q: What practices or insights from therapy have you found helpful this year or during challenging times?

Kelly advises against waiting until something is wrong to seek therapy. She points out that therapy involves unraveling years of emotions and beliefs, requiring a patient and continuous effort. Kelly shares her personal experience with therapy, particularly with a friend named Joe Boleduke, who helped her feel understood and provided insights into her own behavior. She emphasizes the significance of feeling heard and communicating openly in therapy.

Q: How did you form your supportive ecosystem of friends?

Kelly emphasizes the importance of a supportive network of friends, which she refers to as her "chico system." She explains that her chico system began when she was around 10 years old, interacting with the members of Destiny's Child. She notes that the chico system should be built on trust, loyalty, and love, with an absence of harsh judgment. Kelly highlights the significance of not dismissing people too quickly, as relationships can evolve and provide mutual support.

Q: What are some principles or rules that people can follow to build their own chico system?

Kelly suggests following one's gut and heart when forming friendships. She urges individuals to avoid judging each other too harshly and not dismiss people without giving them a fair chance. Maintaining a balance of give and take in relationships, and understanding that support can ebb and flow, is crucial. Kelly also highlights the value of strong but flexible bonds, where sometimes minimal contact is needed to pick up right where you left off.

Q: What challenges have you overcome that have contributed to your personal growth?

Kelly identifies self-criticism and talking herself out of things as significant challenges she has overcome. She mentions the process of uncovering past trauma and letting go of unforgiveness. Kelly emphasizes the importance of not only acknowledging regrets and challenges but also recognizing personal growth and being proud of who she has become.

Q: How has becoming a parent impacted your self-reflection and parenting approach?

Kelly shares that becoming a parent has made her more aware of her own behaviors and more cautious with her words and actions. She mentions the responsibility to form positive habits and provide a loving environment for her children. Kelly also discusses her tendencies to overthink and seek to protect her child, but acknowledges the importance of allowing children to go through their own experiences and learn from them.

Q: How can individuals reframe their story and find meaning in their life experiences?

Kelly explains the power of finding meaning in life experiences and using them to reshape personal narratives. She encourages individuals to acknowledge their past pain and traumas, but also recognize the strength that they have developed as a result. Kelly highlights the impact of powerful stories from others who have overcome hardships, inspiring confidence in finding one's own narrative of growth and strength.

Takeaways

Kelly Rowland shares insights into her journey of personal growth, motherhood, and building supportive relationships. She emphasizes the importance of giving, understanding, self-reflection, and embracing supportive ecosystems. Kelly encourages individuals to seek therapy, develop self-compassion, and surround themselves with people who uplift and support them. By reframing their stories, individuals can find meaning in their experiences and discover their own strength and resilience.

Summary & Key Takeaways

• Jay Shetty interviews Kelly Rowland, a musician, actor, and X Factor coach who released hits like Coffee, Crazy, and Hitman this year and is preparing to welcome her second child. They discuss motherhood, faith, and the personal accountability that supports her relationships.

• Rowland grew up with very little, living with her mother and great aunts, and learned early not to ask for much. She now teaches her son Titan that giving matters as much as receiving, scaling back presents to instill that lesson.

• Two mothers shaped her, her own mom and Tina, Beyonce's mom. After her mother passed, Rowland understood her sacrifices and offered a prayer of gratitude and forgiveness, illustrating how she believes understanding others starts with understanding oneself.