Secrets about People: A Short and Dangerous Introduction to René Girard

Secrets about People: A Short and Dangerous Introduction to René Girard

In René Girard's exploration of human behavior, he introduces the concept of mimetic desire. According to Girard, when we observe others, our desires are not focused on acquiring the same objects as them, but rather on becoming like them. Advertisers understand this phenomenon well, as they don't sell products but the idea of belonging to a specific group. Marcel Proust's A La Recherche du Temps Perdu also delves into this idea, highlighting how our memories and experiences are shaped by the opinions of those we aspire to imitate.

However, mimetic desire can lead to self-deception as we try to reshape our perceptions and identity to match our role models. Humility and shame, when viewed through this lens, become opposites. Narcissists, on the other hand, aspire to become an idealized version of themselves, but often find themselves deeply unhappy as they constantly strive to impress themselves.

One of the key aspects of Girard's worldview is the importance of the distance between the subject and the model. External mediators, such as heroic figures in history or culture, have a significant distance from the subject, making it unlikely for their relationship to change. On the other hand, internal mediators, such as peers or coworkers, have a profound impact on the subject's desires and their relationship with them. The closer the model, the more intense the competition and rivalry become.

Freud also explored the conflicting roles of parents as both models and barriers in a child's development, which he believed to be the root of neuroses and mental illnesses. When the model is close, individuals often hide their admiration and jealousy, leading to envy and potentially destructive behaviors. Mimetic conflict arises not from differences but from similarities.

To mitigate mimetic conflict, Girard suggests distance and differentiation. Relationships that are differentiated in terms of rank or other factors are safer than undifferentiated relationships between peers. However, homogenous tribes can accomplish more together, making conflict inevitable.

In cases where de-escalation is not possible, Girard proposes finding a scapegoat. Scapegoating allows the community to blame someone for the violence and end the conflict. This concept is evident in Silicon Valley startups, where founders, who are inherently differentiated from employees, hold more power and authority.

Girard argues that early human religion evolved as a defense against jealousy and mimetic rivalry. The Christian Bible, according to Girard's interpretation, covers this subject extensively. The story of Adam and Eve illustrates the moment they become aware of the opinions of others and the seed of pride, shame, envy, and mimetic conflict. The rivalry between Cain and Abel further exemplifies the destructive consequences of mimetic desire.

In conclusion, Girard's insights into mimetic desire shed light on the complex nature of human behavior and the impact of role models on our desires and relationships. To navigate these dynamics, it is important to recognize the potential for self-deception, seek differentiation in relationships, and find alternative ways to resolve conflicts without resorting to scapegoating.

Actionable Advice:

1. Reflect on your desires and assess whether they are driven by mimetic desire or genuine personal preferences. Focus on becoming your authentic self rather than striving to imitate others.
2. Foster diverse relationships with individuals who have different backgrounds, experiences, and perspectives. Embrace the benefits of differentiation and avoid homogeneous groups that can lead to intense mimetic conflicts.
3. When conflict arises, seek de-escalation and resolution through open communication and empathy. Find common ground and mutually beneficial solutions instead of resorting to scapegoating.

By understanding the secrets of human behavior outlined by René Girard, we can navigate our desires, relationships, and conflicts with greater clarity and compassion.