Secrets about People: A Short and Dangerous Introduction to René Girard

Secrets about People: A Short and Dangerous Introduction to René Girard

In René Girard's theory of mimetic desire, he explains how our desires are not simply about acquiring certain objects, but rather about mimicking and striving to become like the models or mediators we admire. This phenomenon, known as mimetic desire, is deeply ingrained in our neurology and shapes our perceptions, experiences, and identities.

Advertisers understand this principle well. Instead of convincing us that we want a specific product, they appeal to our desire for membership in a certain peer group, suggesting that consuming their product will help us become part of that group. It's not about the object itself, but about the social status it represents.

Marcel Proust's novel "A La Recherche du Temps Perdu" explores this phenomenon further, delving into how our memories and impressions of objects and experiences are retroactively shaped by the opinions of those we aspire to imitate. Proust's character embarks on a search to rediscover his initial impressions before they were influenced by others, embracing a kind of humility that allows him to perceive things as they truly are.

One tragic aspect of mimetic desire is the self-deception it often induces. We lie to ourselves in order to reshape our perceptions and experiences to align with who we feel we should be. However, this self-deception only leads to dissatisfaction and unhappiness, especially for narcissists whose idealized model is themselves. The harder they try to become their ideal self, the more they fail, leading to deep unhappiness.

Girard also emphasizes the role of competition in mimetic desire. As our desires align with those of our models, we inevitably become rivals. The intensity of the competition has little to do with the value of the object itself but is driven by the interpersonal relationship between models and admirers. We both admire and resent our models for being our inspiration and obstacle simultaneously.

Girard distinguishes between two types of models: external mediators and internal mediators. External mediators, like heroic figures in history or culture, are distant from us and serve as models we strive to imitate but who will never become obstacles in our path. Internal mediators, on the other hand, are closer to us, such as peers or coworkers. When someone close to us becomes a model, our relationship with them changes as they become both our inspiration and our rival.

This transformation of the relationship between subject and model leads to a conflict within ourselves. We desire to be like our models, but we also fear being exposed as mere imitators. This conflict often manifests in envy and leads to destructive behaviors such as attacking or sabotaging our models. The same feelings are often reciprocated by our models, further fueling the mimetic conflict.

To avoid the dangers of mimetic conflict, Girard suggests creating distance and differentiation between subject and model. When there is a clear rank or distinction between the two, the relationship is safer. However, when the subject and model are peers, mimetic conflict becomes more likely.

In situations where mimetic conflict escalates and de-escalation is not possible, Girard proposes the use of scapegoating. Scapegoating involves collectively blaming someone for the violence and conflict, providing an opportunity to end the fighting by sacrificing the scapegoat. This act unifies the community and resolves the conflict.

Girard's theories have implications for various aspects of society, including the business world. Silicon Valley startups, for example, have learned that differentiating founders from employees can prevent jealousy and rivalry within the company. The title of "founder" cannot be earned or seized like a CEO title, creating a clear distinction and reducing the potential for mimetic conflict.

Girard also explores the role of early religion in suppressing and diffusing mimetic conflict within communities. The Christian Bible, according to Girard's interpretation, contains stories that reflect this evolution. The story of Adam and Eve's expulsion from the Garden of Eden highlights the moment they become aware of the opinions of others and the importance of caring about them. This realization sets the stage for pride, shame, envy, and the conflicts that arise from mimetic desire.

In conclusion, understanding the secrets of mimetic desire can help us navigate the complexities of human behavior and relationships. Here are three actionable pieces of advice derived from Girard's theories:

1. Embrace humility: Recognize the influence of others on your desires and perceptions. Rediscover your genuine self by accepting that you may not be exactly like your role models. This humility allows you to perceive things as they truly are and find genuine enjoyment.

2. Differentiate and create distance: When possible, establish clear distinctions and ranks between yourself and your models. This differentiation reduces the likelihood of mimetic conflict and rivalry.

3. Avoid scapegoating: Instead of resorting to scapegoating, seek de-escalation and resolution through open communication and understanding. Address the root causes of conflict rather than blaming individuals or groups.

By applying these principles, we can navigate the dangerous waters of mimetic desire and foster healthier relationships and communities.