Why the Best Things in Life Are All Backwards: The Paradoxical Nature of Success

Why the Best Things in Life Are All Backwards: The Paradoxical Nature of Success

Success often seems like a linear journey, where the more effort we put in, the greater the rewards will be. However, life has a way of throwing us curveballs and challenging our beliefs. Drown-proofing, a technique used to survive in dangerous water situations, teaches us valuable lessons about the paradoxical nature of success.

The first lesson of drown-proofing is that struggling to keep your head above water can actually lead to sinking. It may seem counterintuitive, but when we fight against the current, we exhaust ourselves and become more susceptible to failure. In drown-proofing, the key is to let yourself sink to the bottom of the pool. By surrendering control and allowing your body to naturally rise to the surface, you conserve energy and increase your chances of survival.

This concept of surrendering control is not limited to physical challenges. In fact, it is one of the most important skills we can develop in life. Most activities we engage in are not simple or mindless; they require adaptation and emotional self-control. When we try to exert too much control over these complex tasks, we often hinder our own progress.

Studies on work productivity have shown that our peak productivity lasts only for the first few hours of the day. After that, our efficiency declines. This inverted curve demonstrates that the more effort we put into something, the more likely we are to fail at it. This is especially true when it comes to psychological tasks that exist solely within our consciousness.

Renowned author Aldous Huxley once wrote, “The harder we try with the conscious will to do something, the less we shall succeed." This paradoxical nature of our psychology is deeply ingrained in us. When we desperately seek meaning, freedom, or happiness, our desire for these things often pushes them further away. It is only when we let go of our desires and embrace the present moment that we can truly achieve what we seek.

This paradox can be seen in people who travel the world in search of themselves or the meaning of life. In their pursuit of answers, they often find that the more they chase, the further they drift from their true selves. Just like in drown-proofing, they must let themselves sink into the depths of uncertainty and fear. It is in this surrender that they can find their salvation and discover their true purpose.

Applying these lessons to the world of marketplaces, we can see that the pursuit of happiness is the key to success. The marketplace that can make its buyers and sellers genuinely happier than any alternative will always come out on top. Gross Merchandise Volume (GMV), often seen as a measure of success, is actually a vanity metric that can lead us astray. It does not capture the true value we are creating.

Instead of focusing solely on growth, we should prioritize quality growth that enhances the happiness of each transaction. By pursuing happiness, we naturally achieve growth. It is important to remember that happiness, not scale, is our true moat. No matter how large an incumbent may be, they can always be vulnerable to a new entrant that prioritizes the happiness of their users.

Choosing the right market to target is also crucial. While it may seem logical to go after a large market, it is often better to focus on a specific niche. By identifying a cross-section of our cohorts that retains the best, we can double-down on that market and create meaningful value for our users.

To measure the happiness we are creating, "net revenue retention" can be a useful metric. It provides insight into whether our marketplace is truly making a difference in the lives of our users. Net Promoter Score, on the other hand, may not be as reliable in assessing happiness.

However, we must be vigilant in monitoring the level of happiness we are providing. Happiness is relative to expectations, which are influenced by the available substitutes in the market. This means that our Minimum Viable Happiness is a dynamic measure that requires constant attention and adaptation.

In conclusion, the best things in life are often backwards. Surrendering control, embracing paradox, and prioritizing happiness can lead us to true success. Whether we are navigating dangerous waters or building marketplaces, these principles hold true. Here are three actionable pieces of advice to apply in your own life:

1. Embrace the paradox: Instead of fighting against the challenges you face, learn to surrender control and go with the flow. Sometimes, the more effort you exert, the more likely you are to fail. Trust in the process and let go of your desire for control.

2. Prioritize happiness over growth: Instead of chasing scale and numbers, focus on creating meaningful value for your users. Make them happier than any alternative and your success will naturally follow.

3. Monitor and adapt: Keep a close eye on the happiness you are providing and be ready to adapt to changing expectations. Happiness is relative, and your success depends on your ability to meet and exceed those expectations.

By incorporating these principles into your life, you can navigate the paradoxes of success and find fulfillment in the most unexpected places. Remember, sometimes the best way to reach the surface is to let yourself sink.