Perfectionism: Why and How to Beat It

Kazuki Nakayashiki

Hatched by Kazuki Nakayashiki

Aug 21, 2023

5 min read

0

Perfectionism: Why and How to Beat It

Perfectionism is a common trait that many individuals possess. While wanting to do great work is not inherently problematic, the issue arises when people become excessively rigid about what constitutes good work and how it should be achieved. This intersection between excessively high standards and rigid adherence to those standards is what defines perfectionism. The problem lies in the rigidity around these standards, which often leads to burnout, neglect of other responsibilities, avoidance of goals, and a constant feeling of misery, even when objectively doing well.

The antidote to perfectionism is not to eliminate rules altogether, but rather to understand the purpose they serve and be flexible enough to determine when they are helpful and when they are not. Often, we become so attached to rules that have been reinforced by positive outcomes or social pressure that we fail to recognize when they no longer serve us. Psychologists refer to this as rule-governed behavior, and it hinders our ability to learn from our experiences. Instead, what we need is contingency-shaped behavior, where we allow our experiences to teach us and guide our actions.

To break free from the grip of perfectionism, it is essential to identify our values. Values represent the directions we want our lives to go in and the qualities we want to embody during our journey. By identifying and embracing our values, we have guideposts to navigate challenging circumstances and overcome perfectionism. Unlike goals, which have an end date and can leave us feeling lost once accomplished, values provide intrinsic motivation and remain accessible to us at all times. Research has shown that individuals are more likely to approach difficult situations if they are aligned with their personal values.

It is crucial to distinguish between rules that we follow because we believe we "should" adhere to socially expected standards versus rules that align with our intrinsic desires. Being aware of this distinction allows us to separate the noise from the signal and focus on what truly matters to us. Cultivating awareness gives us the freedom to gain distance from our thoughts and emotions, a concept known as defusion in psychology. Once we have defused from our thoughts, we can consciously choose how to behave and, more importantly, return to our values.

Following our values creates variability in our behavior, which is beneficial for personal growth and learning. Embracing variability allows us to break free from the rigid patterns of perfectionism and explore new possibilities. By embracing imperfection and embracing the natural variability of life, we open ourselves up to new experiences and opportunities for growth.

Interview: Collective intelligence with Alexandra Elbakyan

While the concept of perfectionism primarily applies to individual behavior, collective intelligence offers insights into how groups of individuals can come together to achieve remarkable results. Alexandra Elbakyan, the creator of Sci-Hub, embodies the power of collective intelligence. Despite the controversial nature and legal issues surrounding Sci-Hub, it is undeniable that it serves as a brilliant tool to remove barriers to human knowledge development.

In 2016, Elbakyan was sued by Elsevier, a publisher that releases over 500,000 articles in 2,500 journals annually. Currently in hiding due to the risk of extradition, Elbakyan continues to pursue a Master's degree in Philosophy of Science in an undisclosed location. Sci-Hub acts as a conduit for connecting one brain to another, using research papers as a medium. It transcends the limitations of modern computers, which lack the computational speed to artificially encode and emulate the human brain. Our consciousness emerges from the constant communication between billions of neurons in our brain.

Elbakyan's mission to fix the flaws in copyright laws that inhibit the free distribution of information on the internet, such as academic papers and books, is a testament to the power of collective intelligence. She recognizes the need to challenge and fix existing laws that hinder the progress of human knowledge. Through the collective efforts of individuals who believe in the power of free access to information, Sci-Hub has become a symbol of resistance against outdated systems.

Combining Perfectionism and Collective Intelligence

While seemingly unrelated, there are connections between perfectionism and collective intelligence. Perfectionism thrives on rigid adherence to high standards, while collective intelligence thrives on diversity of thought and embracing variability in behavior. Both concepts highlight the importance of breaking free from rigid patterns and embracing imperfection.

In the context of perfectionism, it is crucial to recognize that perfectionistic thoughts and ideas can actually be a gift. They point towards what is most important to us and serve as a compass for our values. However, it is essential to differentiate between rules we follow because of societal expectations and rules that align with our intrinsic desires. By cultivating awareness and defusing from our thoughts, we gain the freedom to choose how to behave and can return to our values. Following our values allows for variability in behavior, which promotes personal growth and learning.

In the realm of collective intelligence, the power lies in the collective efforts of individuals who come together to challenge existing systems and promote progress. Alexandra Elbakyan's creation of Sci-Hub demonstrates the potential for collective intelligence to overcome barriers and facilitate the free distribution of knowledge. By embracing imperfections and leveraging the collective power of diverse perspectives, humanity can continue to push the boundaries of knowledge and foster innovation.

Actionable Advice:

  1. Recognize your values: Take time to identify and clarify your values. Understand what is truly important to you and what you want your life to represent. These values will serve as guideposts during challenging circumstances and help you overcome perfectionistic tendencies.

  2. Cultivate awareness: Practice mindfulness and self-reflection to become more aware of your thoughts and emotions. By developing this awareness, you gain the freedom to choose how you respond to situations and can break free from rigid patterns of perfectionism.

  3. Embrace variability: Allow yourself to embrace imperfection and variability in your behavior. Instead of striving for rigid perfection, focus on personal growth and learning. By stepping outside your comfort zone and exploring new possibilities, you open yourself up to new experiences and opportunities for development.

In conclusion, perfectionism and collective intelligence offer unique perspectives on personal and collective growth. By understanding the underlying causes of perfectionism and incorporating the principles of collective intelligence, individuals can break free from rigid patterns and embrace imperfection. Recognizing personal values, cultivating awareness, and embracing variability in behavior are actionable steps toward overcoming perfectionism and fostering personal growth. Similarly, collective intelligence thrives on the power of diverse perspectives and the collective efforts of individuals who challenge existing systems. By embracing imperfection and leveraging the collective power of diverse perspectives, humanity can continue to push the boundaries of knowledge and drive innovation forward.

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