Exactly What to Say: The Magic Words for Influence and Impact

12 highlighters254 highlights41 notes3.9 / 5

About This Book

Exactly What to Say by Phil M. Jones is a compact, practical guide to the precise phrases—what Jones calls Magic Words—that influence decisions and reduce friction in conversations. The book's central premise is that decisions are made first in the subconscious brain, which operates on yes/no reflexes rather than "maybe." By choosing words that speak directly to this part of the mind, you tilt the odds of agreement in your favor.

Jones organizes the book around discrete, ready-to-use phrases, each addressing a common conversational obstacle. Notable examples include:

"I'm not sure if it's for you, but..." — a rejection-free way to introduce any idea by lowering pressure and sparking curiosity.
"How open-minded are you?" — leveraging people's desire to see themselves as open.
"Just imagine" and "How would you feel if...?" — placing vivid mental pictures and future scenarios in someone's mind.
"What questions do you have for me?" and "What's going to be easier for you?" — assuming outcomes and stacking choices toward your preferred option.
"What makes you say that?" — reframing objections as questions to regain control.
"Most people" — using social proof to overcome indecision.

Underpinning these tactics are a few core principles: people are motivated by either avoiding loss or gaining something; the person asking the questions holds control; and the greater the emotional contrast, the more likely someone is to move. Jones stresses that you cannot leap someone from "no" to "yes"—you must first move them to "maybe."

The tone is conversational and rooted in sales experience, but Jones insists every principle transfers to any area of life. He encourages readers to keep a notebook, craft personal examples, and practice the phrases immediately to build comfort and confidence.

Key Takeaways

1.The subconscious brain drives decisions on reflex, working in yes/no terms—so words aimed at it can tip conversations your way.
2.People are motivated by avoiding loss or acquiring gain, and they work harder to avoid a loss than to achieve a gain.
3.Decisions are made twice—first imagined in the mind, then realized—so phrases like "Just imagine" build your case mentally before action.
4.The person asking the questions controls the conversation; reframe objections as questions to regain that control.
5.You cannot jump someone from no to yes—first move them to "maybe" by shifting their perspective.
6.Tiny wording changes—"What's the best number to contact you at?" versus "Can I have your phone number?"—produce dramatically different results.
7.Social proof through "Most people" helps people overcome indecision by signaling safety in following others.

Top Highlights

Magic Words are sets of words that talk straight to the subconscious brain.

Highlighted by 4 people

How open-minded would you be about trying this as an alternative? Would you be open-minded about giving this a chance?

Highlighted by 4 people · 1 left a note

The goal is to turn the situation into one in which the other person admits that their opinion was based on insufficient evidence, while retaining the ability for them to save face in the conversation.

Highlighted by 4 people · 1 left a note

What do you know about us, our business and the way we do things differently?

Highlighted by 4 people · 1 left a note

People make decisions based on what feels right first. If you can make it feel right, the rest is easy.

Highlighted by 3 people

How would you feel if this decision led to your promotion? How would you feel if your competition passed you? How would you feel if you turned this around?

Highlighted by 3 people

words, “Just imagine,” the subconscious brain kicks a switch and opens up the image viewer, and it cannot help but picture the very scenario you are creating.

Highlighted by 3 people · 1 left a note

When would be a good time for you to take a proper look at this? When would be a good time to get started? When would be a good time to speak next?

Highlighted by 3 people

“Could you do me a small favor?”

Highlighted by 3 people · 1 left a note

People say thank you when they feel they owe you something. This is the best time to ask for someone’s help.

Highlighted by 3 people · 1 left a note

AI Review

3.9/ 5

Based on Glasp's analysis of highlights from 11 readers, this is a highly quotable, immediately actionable phrasebook whose specific scripts—especially "I'm not sure if it's for you, but..." and "Just imagine"—resonated strongly across readers.

Pros

+Concise, plug-and-play phrases readers can apply immediately
+Strong consensus around memorable lines like "I'm not sure if it's for you, but..."
+Grounded in a clear principle: decisions start in the subconscious brain
+Covers the full conversation arc—introducing ideas, handling objections, and closing
+Transferable beyond sales into everyday persuasion

Cons

−Light on deep psychological theory; tactics are presented more than proven
−Some techniques edge toward manipulation if used without genuine intent
−Repetition of phrases may feel padded given the book's short length

Glasp AI analysis based on highlights from 11 readers.

Who Should Read This

This book is ideal for salespeople, entrepreneurs, negotiators, and managers who pitch ideas, handle objections, or close deals regularly. It also helps anyone wanting to be more persuasive in everyday life—parents, job seekers, and team leaders. No prior knowledge is required; the phrases are plug-and-play. Readers seeking quick, actionable scripts rather than deep psychological theory will get the most value, especially those willing to practice the wording aloud until it feels natural.

Frequently Asked Questions

What is the book about?

It teaches specific Magic Words—precise phrases that influence decisions by speaking directly to the subconscious brain, which responds in reflexive yes/no terms. Each chapter offers a ready-to-use script for a common conversational challenge.

Who is it for?

It is aimed at salespeople, entrepreneurs, and negotiators, but Jones stresses every principle transfers to any area of life where you want to be more persuasive and influential.

What are the key lessons?

People decide emotionally first, the person asking questions holds control, and you must move someone to "maybe" before "yes." Small word changes—like swapping "Do you have any questions?" for "What questions do you have for me?"—dramatically shift outcomes.

Is it worth reading?

Yes, if you want quick, practical scripts rather than theory. It is short, memorable, and designed for immediate use, though you'll get value only by practicing the phrases.

Why does the book focus on the subconscious brain?

Jones argues the subconscious makes decisions reflexively without overanalyzing, landing on yes or no but never maybe. Magic Words are engineered to talk straight to this fast, decisive part of the mind.

How do you handle objections according to the book?

Treat every objection as a question and regain control by asking one back—most powerfully, "What makes you say that?" This forces the other person to explain themselves and shifts the conversation in your favor.

What is the best way to read this book?

Jones recommends keeping a notebook, creating your own examples for each phrase, and committing to try them as soon as possible to build comfort and confidence with repetition.

How to Apply What You Read

1.Keep a notebook while reading and write your own example for each Magic Words phrase.
2.Replace weak openers like "Do you have any questions?" with assumptive versions such as "What questions do you have for me?"
3.Practice introducing ideas with "I'm not sure if it's for you, but..." to make pitches rejection-free.
4.Reframe every objection you hear by responding with "What makes you say that?" to keep control.
5.Stack choices in your favor by ending decisions with "What's going to be easier for you?"

Discussion Questions

Q1.Where is the line between ethical persuasion and manipulation when using these Magic Words?
Q2.Which phrase from the book do you think would feel most natural for you, and which would feel forced?
Q3.Do you agree that people decide emotionally first and justify rationally afterward? Can you recall an example from your own life?
Q4.How might these techniques backfire if the other person recognizes them?
Q5.Is the claim that the subconscious only outputs yes or no a useful simplification or an oversimplification?
Q6.How would you adapt these sales-oriented phrases for personal relationships or parenting?
Q7.Which is more powerful in your experience: motivating people by fear of loss or by hope of gain?