Secrets about People: A Short and Dangerous Introduction to René Girard

Secrets about People: A Short and Dangerous Introduction to René Girard

In the world of human desires and aspirations, René Girard introduces the concept of mimetic desire, where individuals pattern their desires off others. Girard refers to these individuals as "mediators" or "models" for our desire. Instead of simply acquiring a desire for an object, we strive to become like these models. Advertisers have long understood this principle, using it to influence our desires and create a sense of belonging to a specific peer group.

Marcel Proust's masterpiece, A La Recherche du Temps Perdu, explores this phenomenon of how our memories and experiences are shaped by the opinions of those we aspire to imitate. It delves into the idea of rediscovering our genuine selves by separating our perceptions from the influence of others. Mimetic desire often leads to self-deception, as we reshape our identities to fit the image of our role models.

Narcissists, on the other hand, have themselves as their role models. However, their constant striving to imitate and impress themselves leads to deep unhappiness. The more they try to become an idealized version of themselves, the further they drift from true contentment.

In the realm of mimetic desire, status becomes a zero-sum game. Models and their admirers eventually turn into rivals, as mutual desire transforms into fierce competition. The interpersonal relationship between the model and the subject becomes the focal point, leading to both admiration and resentment towards the model.

Girard emphasizes the importance of the distance between the subject and the model. External mediators, such as heroic figures or distant historical figures, have little impact on the subject's life. However, internal mediators, such as peers or coworkers, have a profound effect on both desire and the relationship between the subject and the model. The subject's efforts to imitate the model result in a tormenting push-pull dynamic of "be like me, but don't be like me."

Freud also touches upon the conflicting roles of parents as models and barriers in a child's development. This internal conflict can lead to neuroses and mental illnesses in adulthood. When the model is a peer or someone close to us, we tend to hide our admiration and jealousy. As our mimicry intensifies, envy takes hold, leading to destructive behaviors such as attacking or sabotaging the model.

Differentiation and distance between the subject and the model are crucial in preventing mimetic conflict. Homogenous tribes with minimal differentiation are more prone to destructive rivalry. However, well-aligned groups can achieve great things together. If mimetic conflict escalates and de-escalation is not an option, finding a scapegoat becomes the last resort. Scapegoating allows the community to end the violence by collectively blaming a surrogate victim and coming together to eliminate them.

Silicon Valley startups have learned the lesson of differentiation. Founders, who hold a divine right-like status, are more effective leaders than CEOs who earned their position through promotion. The title of "founder" cannot be seized or earned, creating a clear distinction between them and their employees.

Girard believes that early human religion emerged as a defense against mimetic rivalry and jealousy within communities. The Christian Bible, according to Girard, extensively covers this subject. The story of Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden symbolizes the beginning of mimetic conflict, as they discover the opinions of others and the need to care about them. The rivalry between Cain and Abel further exemplifies the destructive nature of mimetic desire.

In conclusion, understanding the dynamics of mimetic desire can shed light on our own desires, relationships, and conflicts. To navigate the perils of mimetic desire, here are three actionable pieces of advice:

1. Practice self-awareness: Recognize when your desires are shaped by the influence of others and strive to rediscover your genuine self.

2. Embrace humility: Accept that you may not be like your role models and focus on perceiving things as they truly are, rather than trying to become someone you are not.

3. Foster differentiation: Encourage diversity and differentiation within your tribe or group to prevent destructive mimetic rivalries. Celebrate individual strengths and contributions, rather than striving for homogeneity.

By understanding the secrets of mimetic desire, we can navigate the complex world of human interactions with greater awareness and compassion.