The Dangers of Mimetic Desire: Understanding the Secrets of People and Narcissistic Leaders

The Dangers of Mimetic Desire: Understanding the Secrets of People and Narcissistic Leaders

Have you ever wondered why we desire certain objects or aspire to be like certain people? René Girard, a renowned philosopher, sheds light on this phenomenon through the concept of mimetic desire. According to Girard, when we watch others, we are not just acquiring a desire for the object they possess but striving to become them. This desire to mimic others is deeply ingrained in our neurological makeup and shapes our perception of objects and experiences.

Advertisers have long understood the power of mimetic desire. They don't simply try to convince us to desire a product; they associate it with a particular peer set and tell us that by acquiring that product, we can become a part of that group. Abercrombie, for example, can advertise their clothes with models who aren't actually wearing them because the clothes themselves are not the point. It's about the desire to be like those models and belong to their exclusive circle.

Marcel Proust's masterpiece, A La Recherche du Temps Perdu, delves into the impact of mimetic desire on our memories and experiences. The protagonist embarks on a search to rediscover his initial impressions of experiences before they were shaped by the opinions of others. This journey towards rediscovering one's genuine self and perceptions requires humility and the acceptance that we may not actually be like our role models.

Narcissists, on the other hand, have a different relationship with mimetic desire. Their role model is themselves, or rather, an idealistic version of themselves that they aspire to project. However, this constant striving to be themselves often leads to deep unhappiness, as the more they try, the less they succeed.

Mimetic desire also leads to competition and rivalry between models and admirers. We admire our models for inspiring us, but we also come to resent them for becoming our obstacles and rivals. Girard emphasizes that we don't fight because we're different; we fight because we're the same.

Girard distinguishes between two types of models: external mediators and internal mediators. External mediators, such as heroic figures in history, are too far removed from us to become obstacles. However, internal mediators, like peers or coworkers, can become competitors as our efforts to imitate and become like them transform our relationship.

The more undifferentiated our relationship with a model, the more dangerous it becomes. Girard suggests that a relationship that is differentiated, whether through rank or distance, is safer. Homogenous groups with undifferentiated relationships are more prone to mimetic conflict.

If de-escalation is not an option, the community often resorts to scapegoating to end the violence. By collectively blaming someone for the conflict, the community can come together and resolve the fighting. This notion of scapegoating can be observed in Silicon Valley startups, where founders who rule their companies as if by divine right are often more effective than CEOs who have earned their titles through promotion.

Turning to the topic of narcissistic leaders, they possess both incredible pros and inevitable cons. Productive narcissists, such as Jack Welch and George Soros, have the audacity to push through massive transformations and leave a lasting legacy. They are risk-takers and charismatic leaders who can convert the masses with their rhetoric.

However, narcissism can turn unproductive when leaders lack self-knowledge and become unrealistic dreamers. Grandiosity and distrust are the Achilles' heel of narcissists, leading to self-involvement, unpredictability, and even paranoia. Organizations must ensure that narcissistic leaders do not self-destruct or lead the company to disaster.

Freud's classification of personality types - erotic, obsessive, and narcissistic - provides further insights into leadership styles. Erotic personalities are dependent on the love of others and often make poor managers. Obsessives, on the other hand, are self-reliant and conscientious, making them effective operational managers. Narcissists, however, come closest to our collective image of great leaders. They have compelling visions and the ability to attract followers.

Narcissistic leaders are relentless in their pursuit of victory and often rely on a sidekick to keep them grounded. These sidekicks, usually productive obsessives, help the leader stay rooted in reality and introduce new ideas that align with the leader's views and interests.

In conclusion, understanding the secrets of people and narcissistic leaders requires an exploration of mimetic desire, the dangers of undifferentiated relationships, and the characteristics of different personality types. To navigate these dynamics, three actionable advice can be considered:

1. Cultivate self-awareness: Recognize the influence of mimetic desire in shaping your desires and aspirations. Reflect on whether your desires are genuinely your own or a result of mimicking others. Embrace humility and strive to perceive things as they are, rather than through the lens of the models you admire.

2. Foster differentiation in relationships: Seek out relationships that are differentiated in terms of rank, distance, or other factors. This helps mitigate the intensity of mimetic conflict and reduces the likelihood of rivalry and competition. Embrace diversity and value the perspectives of others who are different from you.

3. Encourage constructive dissent: Create an environment where dissent is valued and encouraged. Recognize that surrounding yourself with yes-men can lead to isolation and an inability to adapt. Embrace feedback and differing opinions, as they can lead to better decision-making and innovation.

By understanding the secrets of people and narcissistic leaders, we can navigate the complexities of human desire, relationships, and leadership more effectively.