The Power of Mimetic Desire: Understanding the Relationship Between Models and Desire

The Power of Mimetic Desire: Understanding the Relationship Between Models and Desire

Introduction

In René Girard's exploration of mimetic desire, he uncovers the secrets of human nature and the intricate relationship between individuals and their role models. Girard argues that our desires are not simply for objects, but rather, for the qualities and characteristics we see in others. This concept, known as mimetic desire, has profound implications for understanding human behavior and the dynamics of relationships. By examining the influence of models on our desires, we can gain insights into the complexities of our own desires and the impact they have on our relationships.

The Influence of Models on Desire

Girard suggests that when we observe others and pattern our desires after them, we are not merely acquiring a desire for the object they possess. Instead, we strive to become like them, to emulate their qualities and characteristics. Advertisers understand this principle well, as they appeal to our desire for membership in a particular peer group rather than simply promoting the qualities of a product. This phenomenon is also evident in literature, such as Marcel Proust's "A La Recherche du Temps Perdu," where the protagonist seeks to rediscover his initial impressions of experiences before they were influenced by others.

The Tragic Element of Mimetic Desire

One of the tragic elements of mimetic desire is the self-deception it induces. In our quest to be like our models, we often reshape our perceptions, experiences, and even our identities. This self-deception stems from a desire to align ourselves with the idealized version of our models, which can lead to deep unhappiness for narcissists. For them, the model they strive to imitate and impress most is themselves, creating an unattainable standard that only breeds dissatisfaction.

The Rivalry Between Models and Admirers

As mimetic desire intensifies, the relationship between models and admirers transforms. When a model is close to the subject, such as a peer, coworker, or neighbor, their influence becomes more profound. In this scenario, the subject's efforts to become like the model not only shape their desires but also alter their relationship with the model. The model becomes a competitor and obstacle, leading to a complex mix of admiration and resentment. This phenomenon mirrors the conflicting roles of parents as models for a child's development, as outlined by Freud.

The Role of Differentiation in Mitigating Conflict

Girard suggests that the amount of distance between the subject and the model is crucial in determining the nature of their relationship. Models who are far away, known as external mediators, do not pose a direct threat to the subject's aspirations. However, when a model is close, known as an internal mediator, the subject faces a dilemma. They desire to be like the model but fear being exposed as an imitator. This internal conflict often leads to envy, which can manifest in destructive behavior.

Escaping Mimetic Conflict: Scapegoating and Differentiation

When mimetic conflict escalates and de-escalation is not feasible, communities often resort to scapegoating. By collectively blaming a surrogate victim for the violence and conflict, communities can temporarily resolve the tension. This act of scapegoating serves as a mechanism for diffusing mimetic conflict and allowing the community to come together. Silicon Valley startups have learned from this principle, as founders, who are differentiated from employees, hold a higher status and are less prone to jealousy and rivalry.

Religion as a Defense Against Mimetic Rivalry

Girard argues that early human religion evolved as a successful defense against mimetic rivalry within communities. By suppressing and preemptively diffusing conflict, early religions played a crucial role in maintaining social order. The Christian Bible, in Girard's interpretation, provides numerous examples of the consequences of mimetic desire, such as the rivalry between Cain and Abel. These stories serve as cautionary tales about the destructive nature of envy and rivalry.

Conclusion and Actionable Advice

Understanding the power of mimetic desire and its influence on our relationships can provide valuable insights for personal growth and conflict resolution. Here are three actionable pieces of advice to consider:

1. Cultivate self-awareness: Reflect on your desires and motivations, considering the influence of your models. Are you striving for objects or qualities? Are you being true to yourself or trying to imitate others?

2. Embrace humility: Recognize that you may not truly be like your role models and that it's okay. Embrace your genuine self and perceive things as they are, rather than through the lens of who you feel you should be.

3. Foster differentiation: Seek to differentiate yourself from your models and peers. Embrace your unique qualities and find your own path. By doing so, you can mitigate the potential for mimetic conflict and foster healthier relationships.

In conclusion, understanding the relationship between models and desire provides valuable insights into human behavior and the dynamics of relationships. By recognizing the power of mimetic desire, embracing differentiation, and fostering self-awareness, we can navigate the complexities of our desires and cultivate healthier, more fulfilling relationships.