Secrets about People: A Short and Dangerous Introduction to René Girard

Secrets about People: A Short and Dangerous Introduction to René Girard

In René Girard's exploration of human desire, he introduces the concept of mimetic desire. According to Girard, when we observe others and pattern our desires after theirs, we are not simply acquiring a desire for the same object; rather, we are striving to become like them. Advertisers have long understood this principle, using it to convince us that by adopting certain products or lifestyles, we can become part of a desired peer group. Marcel Proust's A La Recherche du Temps Perdu delves into this phenomenon, emphasizing how our memories and perceptions are shaped by the opinions of those we aspire to imitate.

Mimetic desire often leads to self-deception as we reshape our perceptions, experiences, and identities to align with our role models. However, rediscovering our past impressions requires humility, accepting that we may not truly be like those we admire. This acceptance allows us to perceive things as they are and enjoy them authentically. In this context, humility and shame emerge as opposites.

Interestingly, narcissists have themselves as their role models, constantly striving to become an idealized version of themselves. Paradoxically, this pursuit of self-imitation often leads to deep unhappiness, as the harder they try, the less successful they become. Status, when viewed through the lens of mimetic desire, is inherently zero-sum. Models and their admirers inevitably become rivals, with mutual desire transforming into competition. The intensity of this competition is not determined by the value of the desired object but by the interpersonal relationship. We simultaneously admire our models for inspiring us and resent them for becoming obstacles to our desires.

Girard distinguishes between two types of models: external mediators and internal mediators. External mediators, such as historical or heroic figures, are distant from us and therefore unlikely to become obstacles to our desires. On the other hand, internal mediators, such as peers or coworkers, have a significant influence on what we desire and how our relationship with them evolves. As we strive to become more like internal mediators, they gradually transform into competitors and obstacles. This transformation creates a tormenting duality: "Be like me, but don't be like me because it exposes you as an imitator." This conflict often leads to envy and hostile behavior.

Freud also explored the conflicting roles of parents as models and barriers in a child's development. This internal conflict, according to Freud, forms the basis for neuroses and mental illnesses in adulthood. When our models are close to us, we tend to hide our admiration and jealousy. The more we mimic them, the more we try to disguise our feelings, which eventually mutate into envy. This envy can lead to out-of-character actions, such as attacking or sabotaging our models.

Differentiation and distance between the subject and the model are crucial to maintaining a safe relationship. When rank or other factors differentiate them, the relationship remains stable. However, undifferentiated relationships between peers or coworkers become dangerous as mimetic conflicts arise. In such situations, finding a scapegoat becomes a way to end the violence. By collectively blaming a surrogate victim, the community can escape the conflict through their murder. Silicon Valley startups have adopted a similar approach, recognizing the importance of founders who rule their companies with divine right, rather than CEOs who earn their positions.

Girard argues that early human religion emerged as a defense mechanism against mimetic rivalry and jealousy within communities. These religions played a crucial role in suppressing and diffusing conflict. The Christian Bible, according to Girard, extensively covers this subject. The story of Adam and Eve's expulsion from the Garden of Eden symbolizes the moment humans become aware of the opinions of others, leading to pride, shame, envy, and eventually mimetic conflict. The rivalry between Cain and Abel further exemplifies this parable.

In conclusion, understanding the dynamics of mimetic desire and its consequences can offer valuable insights into human behavior. To mitigate mimetic conflict, Girard suggests maintaining distance and differentiation in relationships. Additionally, recognizing the potential for scapegoating as a means to end violence can provide alternative solutions to de-escalation. By delving into Girard's theories, we gain a deeper understanding of ourselves and the complex nature of desire and rivalry in human society.

Actionable Advice:

1. Reflect on your motivations and desires. Are they driven by genuine individuality or a desire to imitate others? Embrace your authentic self to avoid the pitfalls of mimetic desire.
2. Foster humility and self-awareness. Recognize that your role models may not be an accurate representation of who you truly are. Rediscover past impressions and enjoy things as your genuine self.
3. Encourage differentiation and distance in relationships. By emphasizing the unique qualities that set individuals apart, we can minimize the potential for mimetic conflict and promote a more harmonious society.