Digital Kinship: How the Internet Is Reacting to the Loneliness Epidemic

Digital Kinship: How the Internet Is Reacting to the Loneliness Epidemic

For thousands of years, humans lived in tribes that defined kinship not as something biological, but as something you create. Today, people have fewer places to congregate, converse, and find belonging. Research has shown that “third places”—communal gathering spots that aren’t your home or office—are critical to social connection. A recent survey found that nearly half of Americans always or sometimes feel alone (46%) or left out (47%). Over half—54%—feel that no one knows them well.

Across the Atlantic, half of Brits over 65 consider the television or a pet to be their main source of company. From 1970 to 2012, the share of households consisting of married couples with kids was cut in half. Single-person households rose from 13% to 28%. A century ago, 75% of Americans older than 65 lived with relatives; by 1990, only 18% did. If the last 50 years saw a shift to the individual, the next 50 will see a shift to the collective—and digital connections will be the driving force of that sea change.

Social eating and livestream sleeping both reflect the internet’s shift to authenticity and always-on creation/consumption. The lines between the physical and digital dissolve, and online friends become as important as real-world friends. Relatability has become the heart of a creator’s appeal, a far cry from the aspiration and elusiveness desired in celebrities of past eras. Every consumer company is built on a few core human needs, and those needs don’t change much over time. If the 2010s were about people’s need for “status” online—manifesting in curated Instagram feeds and filtered selfies—then the 2020s are about people’s need for “belonging”.

Bilibili is essentially a hub for interest-based communities. It originated as a place for anime enthusiasts but has since expanded to music, dance, science, film, fashion, and more. Bilibili is built on a trifecta that elegantly captures the future of consumer internet companies: user-generated content, commerce, and community. But what’s most unique about Bilibili is how engaged and retentive its communities are. Bilibili achieves this by building friction into the community. In order to join a Bilibili community, users must pass a 100-question test. Building in friction means that communities are comprised only of superfans; 80% of users retain after 12 months.

Every aspect of the economy is becoming more community-centric. The best education companies, meanwhile, will build community into their product. In every sector, people are clamoring for human interaction and meaningful connection. Pieces of the economy that have historically been solitary are instead emphasizing solidarity. Friendship accounts for 60% of the difference in happiness between people, and studies have shown that one of the key markers for midlife satisfaction is being able to rattle off the names of a few close friends.

People will discover connections with strangers through AI-powered platforms like TikTok and Clubhouse. These are the platforms that connect us with strangers and that create communities around us that we didn’t even know we craved belonging to. Experts emphasize that a central component of a third-place social ecosystem is familiarity, but not intimacy. The best internet companies will be built to help people discover and nurture these online relationships.

Knowledge gardening is recursive. If we carefully closed the right feedback loops, could we construct a creative flywheel that generates finished works almost by accident, through a stream-of-consciousness process? Knowledge gardening is one kind of system for generating self-organizing ideas. As a kind of self-organizing system, it can’t happen without some kind of feedback loop. This is what broken feedback loops feel like. Everything is feed-forward. There are no opportunities in the interface to stumble back over your notes, to recurse back over them. You’re continually adding energy to the system, but none of it is returning back.

Knowledge gardening, on the other hand, is the emergent result of constructing a feedback system. I recurse over scratch notes, revise them, add to them, refactor them, and combine them with other ideas to form new ideas. The core game mechanic of Zettelkasten is to file your note some place where you would want to stumble over it again. Like Zettelkasten’s game mechanic, this search-or-create mechanic closes a feedback loop. Every time you enter a new idea, you’re recursing over old ideas. Often you find yourself editing or refactoring an old note, instead of creating a new note. Over time, these microinteractions add up, generating knowledge from the bottom-up.

Incorporating the concept of knowledge gardening into the digital kinship landscape, we can see the potential for individuals to cultivate connections and belonging in online communities. The internet provides a fertile ground for cultivating relationships, and by actively participating in these communities, individuals can experience a sense of belonging and fulfillment.

To leverage the power of digital kinship and knowledge gardening, here are three actionable pieces of advice:

1. Seek out online communities that align with your interests and values. Engage with these communities by actively participating and contributing valuable insights and ideas. By connecting with like-minded individuals, you can foster a sense of belonging and establish meaningful relationships.

2. Embrace the concept of feedback loops in your online interactions. Actively seek feedback from others and provide constructive feedback to others as well. This reciprocal exchange of ideas and insights can help refine and expand your knowledge, while also fostering a sense of community and connection.

3. Prioritize quality over quantity in your online interactions. Instead of spreading yourself thin across multiple platforms and communities, focus on a few select spaces where you can truly engage and connect with others. By investing your time and energy into these meaningful connections, you can cultivate a sense of belonging and create a supportive network of individuals.

In conclusion, the internet has the potential to address the loneliness epidemic by providing opportunities for digital kinship and knowledge gardening. By actively participating in online communities, individuals can find a sense of belonging and establish meaningful connections with others. By leveraging the power of feedback loops and prioritizing quality interactions, individuals can cultivate relationships and foster a sense of community in the digital landscape. The future of social connection lies in the collective, and it is up to each individual to embrace the opportunities and possibilities that the internet presents.