Why the Best Things in Life Are All Backwards: Finding Success in Paradoxes

Kazuki Nakayashiki

Hatched by Kazuki Nakayashiki

Aug 08, 2023

4 min read

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Why the Best Things in Life Are All Backwards: Finding Success in Paradoxes

In the realm of drown-proofing, an unexpected paradox emerges - the more you struggle to stay afloat, the more likely you are to sink. The key to mastering this skill is counterintuitive: you must allow yourself to sink to the bottom of the pool. From there, you can lightly push off and let the momentum carry you back to the surface. This principle teaches us an important lesson about control - sometimes, letting go is the best way to navigate through challenging situations.

Drown-proofing is not just a test of physical endurance, but also a test of emotional self-control. It requires us to release our panic and anxiety, as they only deplete our oxygen and increase the risk of drowning. This ability to let go of control when we crave it the most is a fundamental skill that can benefit us in various aspects of life.

Many activities in life do not follow a linear effort/reward curve. They are complex, mentally and emotionally demanding, and often require adaptation. Studies on work productivity reveal that our optimal productivity only lasts for the first few hours of each day. This suggests that the relationship between effort and reward is not always straightforward. In fact, it can be inverted, where the more effort we exert, the more likely we are to fail.

When it comes to psychological experiences, the relationship between effort and reward becomes even more complicated. Aldous Huxley astutely observed that the conscious will to achieve something often leads to the opposite outcome. To truly succeed, we must learn the art of doing and not doing, combining relaxation with activity. This paradoxical approach allows us to achieve what we desire by relinquishing our desires.

This concept also sheds light on the common phenomenon of individuals searching for meaning, freedom, or happiness in their travels. Often, the more they chase these elusive pursuits, the further they seem to drift from them. Just like in drown-proofing, the only way to reach the surface is to let go and sink. We must lean into our fears and uncertainties, trusting that they will propel us towards salvation when we least expect it.

"The Wrong Side of Right - Farnam Street" reminds us of another paradox that hinders our progress - the tendency to prioritize being right over achieving the best outcomes. When we focus solely on proving ourselves right, we become blind to alternative perspectives and dismiss any evidence that challenges our beliefs. Elon Musk wisely suggests that we should embrace the mindset of being less wrong, recognizing that our initial ideas may be flawed.

The desire to be right often stems from a desire for the world to conform to our expectations. However, the world operates on its own terms, and it is our responsibility to align ourselves with its reality. At Farnam Street, the principle of working with the world as it truly is guides their approach. By letting go of the need to be right, we open ourselves up to better outcomes for everyone involved.

In our pursuit of success, it is crucial to remember that ego should not dictate our actions. Colin Powell's wise words remind us to detach our ego from our positions. When our ideas or beliefs fall, our ego should not crumble with them. Instead, we should prioritize creating the best possible work, regardless of who receives the credit.

To navigate through life's paradoxes and achieve the best outcomes, here are three actionable pieces of advice:

  1. Embrace the power of letting go: Sometimes, the more we try to control a situation, the more it slips through our fingers. Learn to surrender control when necessary and trust that the path will unfold naturally.

  2. Seek alternative perspectives: Challenge your own beliefs and actively seek out opposing viewpoints. Embrace the idea of being less wrong and be open to adjusting your course based on new information.

  3. Prioritize collaboration over individual success: Shift your focus from proving yourself right to achieving the best outcomes for all involved. Let go of ego and work towards collective success rather than personal validation.

In conclusion, life is filled with paradoxes that defy our instinctive logic. Drown-proofing teaches us the importance of releasing control, while the pursuit of being right hinders our ability to achieve the best outcomes. By embracing these paradoxes, seeking alternative perspectives, and prioritizing collaboration, we can navigate through life's challenges more effectively and find success in unexpected ways.

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