Why the Best Things in Life Are All Backwards: Embracing Paradox and Seizing Life's Opportunities
Hatched by Kazuki Nakayashiki
Sep 17, 2023
4 min read
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Why the Best Things in Life Are All Backwards: Embracing Paradox and Seizing Life's Opportunities
Life is full of paradoxes, and sometimes the best things can be found in the most unexpected places. Take drown-proofing, for example. The first lesson of drown-proofing teaches us that struggling to keep our heads above water can actually lead to sinking. To truly stay afloat, we must let ourselves sink to the bottom of the pool and use our momentum to propel us back to the surface. This counterintuitive approach reminds us that sometimes, letting go of control is the key to success.
Similarly, the second lesson of drown-proofing reveals another paradox: the more we panic, the more likely we are to burn through our oxygen and drown. This lesson goes beyond physical survival and speaks to the importance of emotional self-control in times of extreme danger. Learning to let go of control when we need it the most is a valuable skill that can be applied to various aspects of life.
In fact, many activities in life do not follow a linear effort/reward curve. They are complex, mentally and emotionally taxing, and require adaptability. This means that the more effort we put into something, the more likely we are to fail. This inverted curve challenges our preconceived notions of hard work and rewards. It forces us to reevaluate our approach and find new ways to achieve success.
Aldous Huxley once wrote, "The harder we try with the conscious will to do something, the less we shall succeed." This statement highlights the paradoxical nature of our psychology. When we consciously strive to achieve a certain state of mind, our desire for that state actually creates a different and often opposite state of mind. It is through the art of doing and not doing, of combining relaxation with activity, that true proficiency and results are achieved.
This paradoxical nature extends beyond our psychology and into our search for meaning, freedom, and happiness. Often, the more we chase after these elusive concepts, the further they seem to drift away. It is only by letting go of the desire for these things that we can truly attain them. We must teach ourselves to achieve what we desire by giving up what we desire. Just as in drown-proofing, we must allow ourselves to sink in order to reach the surface.
This idea of embracing paradox and seeking fulfillment in unexpected ways is echoed in Snow Huo's decision to quit her 9 to 5 job. She realized that life is short, with an average human lifespan of only 30,000 days. When we subtract the time spent with our parents before college, along with the necessary activities like sleeping, eating, and exercising, we are left with a mere 10,400 days, or roughly 28 years. This realization prompts us to ask ourselves how we would spend our remaining time if it were limited.
Money, often seen as the ultimate measure of success, loses its significance in the face of limited time. Time becomes the most precious asset, as it cannot be earned back or retrieved once it's gone. Snow Huo discovered that sacrificing her time for the pursuit of traditional success did not bring her fulfillment. Instead, she found joy in creating meaningful work that helped others and brought happiness to their lives. This realization reminds us to pay attention to our inner child, as it holds the key to our true passions and desires.
If we were faced with only 28 years left on Earth, how would we choose to spend that time? What legacy would we want to leave behind? These thought-provoking questions urge us to take action and pursue the things that truly matter to us. It is through embracing our inner child and listening to its whispers that we can live a life free of regrets.
In conclusion, life is full of paradoxes, and sometimes the best things can be found by embracing them. Whether it's learning to sink in order to stay afloat or quitting a job that doesn't bring fulfillment, it is through these counterintuitive actions that we can find true success and happiness. Here are three actionable pieces of advice to incorporate into our lives:
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Embrace paradox: Challenge your preconceived notions and be open to unconventional approaches. Sometimes, letting go of control and striving less can lead to greater success.
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Listen to your inner child: Pay attention to the passions and desires that bring you joy. Letting go of societal expectations and pursuing what truly matters to you can lead to a more fulfilling life.
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Make the most of your time: Remember that time is the most precious asset we have. Don't waste it on pursuits that don't align with your values and goals. Instead, focus on the things that bring you fulfillment and make a positive impact on others.
By incorporating these lessons into our lives, we can navigate the paradoxes that arise and find the best things in life, even in the most unexpected places.
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