Digital Kinship: How the Internet Is Reacting to the Loneliness Epidemic

Digital Kinship: How the Internet Is Reacting to the Loneliness Epidemic

For thousands of years, humans lived in tribes that defined kinship not as something biological, but as something you create. Today, people have fewer places to congregate, converse, and find belonging. Research has shown that “third places”—communal gathering spots that aren’t your home or office—are critical to social connection. A recent survey found that nearly half of Americans always or sometimes feel alone (46%) or left out (47%). Over half—54%—feel that no one knows them well.

Across the Atlantic, half of Brits over 65 consider the television or a pet to be their main source of company. From 1970 to 2012, the share of households consisting of married couples with kids was cut in half. Single-person households rose from 13% to 28%. A century ago, 75% of Americans older than 65 lived with relatives; by 1990, only 18% did.

If the last 50 years saw a shift to the individual, the next 50 will see a shift to the collective—and digital connections will be the driving force of that sea change. Social eating and livestream sleeping both reflect the internet’s shift to authenticity and always-on creation/consumption. The lines between the physical and digital dissolve, and online friends become as important as real-world friends.

Relatability has become the heart of a creator’s appeal, a far cry from the aspiration and elusiveness desired in celebrities of past eras. Every consumer company is built on a few core human needs, and those needs don’t change much over time. If the 2010s were about people’s need for “status” online—manifesting in curated Instagram feeds and filtered selfies—then the 2020s are about people’s need for “belonging”.

Bilibili is essentially a hub for interest-based communities. It originated as a place for anime enthusiasts, but has since expanded to music, dance, science, film, fashion, and more. Bilibili is built on a trifecta that elegantly captures the future of consumer internet companies: user-generated content, commerce, and community. But what’s most unique about Bilibili is how engaged and retentive its communities are. Bilibili achieves this by building friction into community. In order to join a Bilibili community, users must pass a 100-question test. Building in friction means that communities are comprised only of superfans; 80% of users retain after 12 months.

Every aspect of the economy is becoming more community-centric. The best education companies, meanwhile, will build community into their product. In every sector, people are clamoring for human interaction and meaningful connection. Pieces of the economy that have historically been solitary are instead emphasizing solidarity. Friendship accounts for 60% of the difference in happiness between people, and studies have shown that one of the key markers for midlife satisfaction is being able to rattle off the names of a few close friends.

People will discover connections with strangers through AI-powered platforms like TikTok and Clubhouse. These are the platforms that connect us with strangers and that create communities around us that we didn’t even know we craved belonging to. However, it's important to note that the ultimate challenge in the management of social media is to maximize its benefits and minimize its risks.

Play is a magic circle that creates social ties, the formation of social groupings that last long after the end of the game. We transmit culture through play, through simple fun and games. The internet is our community theatre, where we can come together and share experiences. Just like in the past, play promotes the formation of social groupings and allows us to feel "apart together" in an exceptional situation.

Authors in the 19th century praised amateur theatricals for their ability to teach a certain knowledge of the emotions and passions of humanity, which can rarely be acquired elsewhere. The same can be said for the internet and social media. It allows us to observe and imitate what others do, but it can also lead to the prevalence of bad behaviors if not managed properly.

The challenge lies in learning where to draw the magic circle of social media. We must maximize the benefits of social media in creating connections and a sense of belonging while minimizing its risks. It is crucial to create platforms and communities that foster familiarity and meaningful interaction, rather than just superficial connections.

In conclusion, the internet has the power to combat the loneliness epidemic by providing spaces for people to come together, share experiences, and form lasting connections. To make the most of this digital kinship, here are three actionable pieces of advice:

1. Prioritize community-building features: Whether you're developing a social media platform or an educational product, focus on building communities within your offering. Encourage meaningful interactions and provide avenues for people to connect with others who share their interests.

2. Emphasize authenticity and relatability: In a world where people crave a sense of belonging, authenticity and relatability are key. Encourage users to be themselves and create content that resonates with others. This will help foster deeper connections and a stronger sense of community.

3. Balance friction and accessibility: While building friction into community onboarding processes can help create engaged and retentive communities, it's important to strike a balance with accessibility. Ensure that the barriers to entry are not too high, as this can discourage potential users. Find ways to create a sense of FOMO (fear of missing out) or internal desire to overcome the friction.

By following these principles, we can create a digital landscape that addresses the loneliness epidemic and provides a sense of belonging for individuals across the globe. The internet has the power to connect us, and it's up to us to harness that power for the collective benefit of society.