Why community matters so much — and how to find yours

Why community matters so much — and how to find yours

Community is an essential aspect of human life. It encompasses a wide range of connections, from our inner circle of family and close friends to the outer rungs of our social network. Having a diverse community is crucial as it provides us with various perspectives, support, and a sense of belonging. However, finding the right community goes beyond just making friends. It involves fulfilling certain criteria that define a true community.

According to Gillian Sandstrom, relying on one person to fulfill all our emotional and psychological needs is not healthy. Instead, a community is characterized by four elements: membership, influence, integration and fulfillment of needs, and shared emotional connection. Membership refers to feeling a sense of belonging, while influence means making a difference to the group and vice versa. Integration and fulfillment of needs involve having your needs met by other group members, and shared emotional connection entails sharing experiences, time, and space.

In contrast, friendship is a dedicated, platonic relationship focused on the growth and support of each other. It is an invested connection that differs from the broader sense of community. While communities can exist online, reciprocity is crucial for their thriving. All members must contribute equally in terms of information and support.

So, how can you find a community that suits you? One approach is to explore activities or events where you would enjoy spending time. Engaging in a shared creation, such as a performance or a neighborhood coat drive, fosters a sense of community. It is a beautiful way to connect with like-minded individuals who uplift and support one another.

Another important factor in finding the right community is aligning with your values. Knowing what you stand for and believe in is essential. This requires introspection and soul-searching to identify your core values. Once you have a clear understanding of your values, you can seek out communities that align with them. This process may take time and effort, but it is crucial to find a community where you truly fit.

Building community does not necessarily mean gathering hundreds of people. Real nurturing communities often start in small groups. These intimate settings allow for deeper connections and more meaningful interactions. They provide an opportunity to open your eyes to new perspectives and wisdom from people in different stages of life.

To forge a genuine connection with a community, you must consistently show up and add value. Regularly interacting with others in the group is crucial, as it fosters familiarity and positive feelings. Actively engaging with the community means putting energy into others and not solely relying on them to invest in you. It is a reciprocal process that requires effort and participation.

However, it is essential to find a balance and not exhaust yourself. The goal of community building is not solely to make new friends, although that can be a wonderful outcome. It is about building a network of individuals who can support and help you grow, while also being open to offering support to others.

In conclusion, community is a vital aspect of our lives. Finding the right community involves fulfilling certain criteria, such as a sense of belonging, influence, integration and fulfillment of needs, and shared emotional connection. To find a community that suits you, explore activities or events where you enjoy spending time and align with your values. Start small and nurture intimate groups for deeper connections. Consistently show up and actively engage with the community, while also finding a balance to avoid exhaustion. Building a network of supportive individuals who align with your future goals is the ultimate aim of community building.