Welcome, Facebook and Twitter. Seriously. Why Facts Don’t Change Our Minds. These two seemingly unrelated topics actually have a common underlying theme - the power of relationships and human connection in shaping our beliefs and influencing our actions.

Welcome, Facebook and Twitter. Seriously. Why Facts Don’t Change Our Minds. These two seemingly unrelated topics actually have a common underlying theme - the power of relationships and human connection in shaping our beliefs and influencing our actions.

Substack, a platform for newsletters, has gained popularity because it provides a calm space that encourages reflection. It allows writers to own their relationships with readers and gives them the freedom to take those relationships off the platform if needed. By avoiding ads and discouraging culture-war superweapons like retweetable quote-retweets, Substack puts control in the hands of readers, allowing them to curate their own feeds. This approach, if adopted by Facebook and Twitter, could be a game-changer for the world's information ecosystem, which is currently in crisis. With over 500,000 paid subscriptions on Substack, it's clear that people are craving a more personalized and intentional online experience.

But why is it so difficult for facts to change our minds? According to Harvard psychologist Steven Pinker, our beliefs often serve as a means to gain allies, protectors, or disciples, rather than being rooted in truth. We have a deep desire to belong and be accepted by our peers, which can sometimes lead us to prioritize social ties over facts. Convincing someone to change their mind is essentially convincing them to change their tribe, and that can be a daunting task. Loneliness is a powerful deterrent, and nobody wants to risk losing social connections by abandoning their beliefs.

However, friendship can be a catalyst for change. The closer we are to someone, the more likely their beliefs will influence our own. This is why the most frequent learning occurs from those who are nearby. It's easier to be open-minded when we feel safe and accepted. Books, in particular, provide a psychologically safe space for exploring new ideas. The conversation happens inside our heads, free from judgment and defensiveness. This is why books often have a greater impact in transforming beliefs compared to conversations or debates.

Silence is also detrimental to the spread of ideas. An idea that is never spoken or written down dies with its creator. Ideas need repetition to gain traction and be believed. Clear's Law of Recurrence states that the number of people who believe an idea is directly proportional to the number of times it has been repeated, even if the idea is false. Instead of focusing on tearing down bad ideas, it's more productive to champion good ideas and share them widely. Sharing is caring, and it helps ideas take root and flourish.

When it comes to changing someone's mind, arguing to win is rarely effective. Most people argue to protect their own reality rather than being open to learning. Kindness and empathy are key. Treating someone like family, developing a friendship, sharing a meal, or gifting a book can create a safe and trusting environment for genuine conversations and perspective shifts. As Haruki Murakami wrote, "Always remember that to argue, and win, is to break down the reality of the person you are arguing against. It is painful to lose your reality, so be kind, even if you are right."

In conclusion, the power of relationships and human connection cannot be underestimated in shaping our beliefs and influencing our actions. Substack's approach to fostering calmness and personal ownership of relationships with readers is a step in the right direction. To truly create a more open-minded and tolerant society, Facebook and Twitter can learn from Substack and apply these principles beyond newsletters. Ultimately, it's the bonds we form and the empathy we cultivate that have the potential to bridge divides and create meaningful change.

Actionable Advice:

1. Embrace platforms that prioritize calmness and reflection, like Substack, to curate your online experience and foster genuine connections with readers or followers.
2. Seek out diverse perspectives and engage in conversations with those who hold different beliefs. Remember to approach these conversations with kindness, empathy, and a genuine desire to understand.
3. Share ideas and champion good ones. Instead of wasting time tearing down bad ideas, focus on spreading knowledge, insights, and perspectives that have the potential to create positive change. Remember, sharing is caring.