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How to Get Good at Feeling Bad

November 15, 2020
by
Mark Manson
YouTube video player
How to Get Good at Feeling Bad

TL;DR

Self-care apps that bombard users with constant affirmations and empty validation may be contributing to a growing crisis of resilience in society.

Transcript

so a couple weeks ago i was doing market research on what's called self-care apps now self-care apps can be anything that helps you with anxiety depression stress they all promise basically the same stuff that you're gonna feel good buy the app use it five minutes a day or whatever and uh live happily ever after so i'm checking out these apps and i... Read More

Key Insights

  • 😀 Self-care apps often provide superficial content and bombarding users with constant affirmations can have negative effects on mental health.
  • 💗 The growing mental health crisis may be attributed to a lack of resilience in society rather than worsening life conditions.
  • 👋 Feeling good all the time is not necessary for a good life; it is important to learn to live with unpleasant feelings and insecurities.
  • 🏪 The pursuit of convenience and constant validation is making society fragile and weak, as individuals catastrophize and overblow every small problem.
  • 🧑‍⚕️ Promoting discomfort and challenges may be more beneficial for mental health than constant affirmations and empty validation.
  • 🤝 The author suggests that learning to deal with negative emotions and focusing on personal growth is crucial for building resilience.
  • 🤳 There is a need to shift the cultural mindset from constant self-absorption to fostering resilience and strength.

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Questions & Answers

Q: How did the author feel after using self-care apps with constant notifications?

The author felt depressed and believed that these apps were not promoting emotional stability but instead increasing self-absorption and narcissism.

Q: Why is there a growing mental health crisis in society?

The author suggests that the crisis is more about a lack of resilience rather than worsening life conditions. Despite improvements in various aspects of life, people are becoming less psychologically resilient.

Q: What does the author believe is the problem with self-care apps?

The author argues that these apps focus on empty validation and fail to teach individuals how to live with unpleasant feelings and insecurities. They promote the idea that feeling good all the time is necessary for a good life, which is not true.

Q: How does the author propose addressing the crisis of resilience?

The author suggests that psychological resilience is built by learning to live with unpleasant feelings and insecurities. It is important to develop the ability to function and be productive despite feeling bad.

Summary & Key Takeaways

  • The author conducted market research on self-care apps and found that they often provided banal and superficial content.

  • The constant notifications from these apps promoting self-absorption and narcissism led to feelings of depression.

  • The rise in mental health issues may be a result of a lack of resilience and an overemphasis on feeling good all the time.


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