Data Scientist Exposes Men & Women’s Real Dating Preferences

TL;DR

The most successful daters are usually conventionally attractive individuals, but those with extreme looks can also do well. To be successful in dating, be polarizing and lean into an extreme version of yourself. Put yourself out there and ask out lots of people. Psychological compatibility is more important than superficial traits.

Transcript

what were the big lessons that you learned from data about being successful in dating then there are like a lot of different lessons uh there are okay so one of them is from i i love this people may have heard of it but i if you haven't you need to know it uh christian rudder wrote this excellent book data clism and he made the point that the most ... Read More

Key Insights

• 👀 The most successful daters are conventionally attractive, but those with extreme looks can also excel.
• ❓ Leaning into an extreme version of yourself and being polarizing can attract those who are genuinely interested in you.
• 🧑‍🤝‍🧑 Asking out lots of people increases your chances of dating someone more attractive than you.
• 🍉 Psychological compatibility is more important for long-term happiness than superficial traits.
• 😀 Online dating apps often optimize for superficial traits, which may not align with long-term happiness.
• 👯 There is a disconnect between what people swipe for and what actually makes people happy.
• 🖐️ Similarity bias plays a significant role in attraction, with people being drawn to those who are similar to themselves.

Questions & Answers

Q: What does the data say about the most successful daters?

The data suggests that the most successful daters are conventionally attractive individuals like Brad Pitt and Natalie Portman. However, those with extreme looks or unique styles can also do well.

Q: Should I try to change myself to attract more people?

It depends on your level of conventionally attractiveness. If you're already conventionally attractive, it's best to be yourself. However, if you're not, leaning into an extreme version of yourself can attract those who are genuinely interested in you.

Q: How can I increase my chances of dating someone more attractive than me?

According to the data, asking out lots of people increases your chances of dating out of your league. Even if the odds seem low, the cumulative effect of asking multiple people can significantly increase your chances.

Q: What traits predict romantic happiness in relationships?

The data suggests that psychological variables such as secure attachment style, growth mindset, conscientiousness, and satisfaction with life have some predictive power for romantic happiness. Superficial traits like physical attractiveness or occupation have little predictive power.

Summary & Key Takeaways

• The most successful daters are usually conventionally attractive, but those with extreme looks can also do well.

• To be successful in dating, be polarizing and lean into an extreme version of yourself.

• Put yourself out there and ask out lots of people. Psychological compatibility is more important than superficial traits.