Hello World

It's almost 2025 and I've not made a single resolution other than to complete writing this, be satisfied with it, and hit the publish button. Something that has been extremely difficult for me to ever do.

You see, if I do this, it means I do in fact have a voice, in the real world, and someone may hear it. My hope, I help someone, I inspire someone, I make someone change.

For over 10 years now I shut and locked the door to the real world. I had the textbook life of a neglected child who suffered trauma to early and went on to continue a life of being degraded, abused, told I had no worth, no value, and no reason to live. I can honestly say the only reason I have made it this far is because I never, ever want my children to feel the pain of losing their mother.

So, when I lost my mother, who was the only person I knew loved me, she took my voice with her. I shut the door on the world, literally, and mentally. I rarely speak, I rarely leave my house and sadly still deal with someone who thinks so little of me. So why now you may ask? Why now am I returning to the world and speaking up?

It feels to me many events that have taken place have caused me to make this decision. I can honestly say though, the first and what had just a huge impact on my though process is when Glasp found me. I say they found me because I have no idea how I came about being a part of Glasp and to be honest, it doesn't matter. Fact is I found a place where when I look at something it's positive. Articles are written and meant to help and inspire people. The people are kind and it's clear to see they have no hidden agendas. It's also so intimidating. Clearly everyone is of high education, grown up with caring and loving families. And here I sit with my 8th grade education, learning disability, and mental illness.

I've sat back in the shadows of Glasp and just read and watched. Waiting for something to come out about how folks from my side of the tracks probably shouldn't be there. I've thought to myself, someone messed up sending me an invite and I swear I did not lie on any application, recently. (joking, kind of) I've wondered if maybe I am in the wrong spot or if I am confused about how Glasp and Substack work. I mean, to my understanding, you write notes, read, and learn to pass on your digital legacy. Which, notes are knowledge and considered part of a person's digital legacy.

People are writing about articles, correcting things that are no longer true and basically keeping the web up to date, this is my understanding at least. So, what exactly would a girl like me have to offer?

I don't believe I have been connected to the web in over 10 years. I just learned what that little highlighter thing is! While thinking this and thinking of everything I've read and seen amongst the people of this community, it occurred to me.

No, I am not educated. In fact, I learned of my learning disability just a few weeks ago. Which made so many things make sense! No, I did not grow up with a loving and supportive family. I was neglected as an infant, sexually molested in 2nd grade, which resulted in my learning disability and went on to drop out of school in the beginning of 8th grade to work a couple fast food jobs. Not to mention, I am positive I am the reason someone programed spell check to just be automatic!

I type like I speak, which means I probably say things with a little twang, and I can promise I will use words bigger than what I am aware they actually mean. So, why would a community like this want someone like me? What can I possibly have to offer the world?

Well, for starters, I am wise beyond my years. I have experienced both the good and bad of people and I have survived. My best qualities, I am an empath, I can read a person in 5 minutes and tell you all about how they think and what they will do next. I can build a relationship with absolutely anyone. I do not judge people; I relate to them.

It is actually a joke between my friends and I that I give off a Phara moan (yes, that is how spell check wrote it) When people meet me, they tend to want to cling to me, be around me all the time and to be frank, it can be exhausting. I am known as the therapist; I give amazing advice. And when I care, I care deeply.

So, that is just one thing, or two, regardless, it's because of the positive reinforcement in the writings I have seen since Glasp found me that I have decided to say "Hello World" It seems to be having a snowball effect, I am thinking far more positive, I am far more inspired, more motivated and I finally see that I do have a voice, even in the world I locked out so many years ago. Because of Glasp I now realize, it's ok that I am uneducated and have had a rough life because I offer the world an entirely different perspective and for once, I know my perspective matters to.

To all of you that have been hiding in my virtual background. Thank you. To Glasp, thank you, and I assure you there is more to come! Happy New Year World!