If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,

If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

What Makes You Happy. But what actually brings happiness is the contrast between what you have now and whatever you were just doing. The best drink you will ever taste is a glass of tap water when you’re thirsty. The best food you will ever eat is fast food when you’re starving. The best massage you will ever feel is sitting on a couch after a long run. The best sleep you will ever experience is when your newborn finally sleeps through the night. The contrast, not the amount, is what makes you happy. Happiness is a fleeting emotion, because it’s triggered by a contrast in circumstances, but you quickly adapt to whatever new circumstances you’re in. Shackleton’s second hot meal, second bath, and second night’s sleep probably felt 1% as amazing. When you realize how powerful expectations are, you put as much effort into keeping them low as you do into improving your circumstances. Happiness, contentment, joy … all of those things come from experiencing a gap between expectations and reality.

If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;
If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

In our pursuit of happiness, we often get caught up in the idea that we need to constantly strive for more. We believe that if we achieve our dreams, we will finally be happy. However, Rudyard Kipling reminds us that true happiness comes from within. It comes from trusting ourselves and not allowing others' doubts to affect us. It comes from being patient and not getting tired of waiting. It comes from not giving in to hate, even when faced with hatred.

Kipling's words resonate with the concept of contrast in happiness. We often find joy in the simplest things, like a glass of tap water when we're thirsty. It's not about the amount or the extravagance, but the contrast between our current state and the previous one. When we can appreciate the little moments and find contentment in them, we can experience true happiness.

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: 'Hold on!'

The idea of expectations also plays a significant role in our happiness. We often find ourselves disappointed when reality doesn't meet our expectations. If we can learn to keep our expectations low and focus on the present moment, we can avoid unnecessary suffering. Happiness, contentment, and joy come from experiencing a gap between expectations and reality. When we can detach ourselves from the outcome and embrace the journey, we can find true fulfillment.

Incorporating these insights into our lives, we can cultivate a mindset that brings us closer to happiness. Here are three actionable pieces of advice to consider:

1. Embrace the contrast: Instead of constantly seeking more or better, learn to appreciate the contrast between your current state and what you were just doing. Find joy in the simplest moments and savor them fully.

2. Manage expectations: Recognize the power of expectations in shaping your happiness. Strive to keep your expectations low and focus on the present moment. This way, you can avoid unnecessary disappointment and find contentment in what you have.

3. Trust yourself: Believe in your own abilities and trust your instincts. Don't let others' doubts or criticisms sway you from your path. Trusting yourself allows you to navigate challenges with resilience and maintain a sense of inner happiness.

In conclusion, happiness is not a constant state but rather a fleeting emotion triggered by a contrast in circumstances. It comes from appreciating the little moments, managing our expectations, and trusting ourselves. By incorporating these insights into our lives, we can cultivate a mindset that brings us closer to lasting happiness. So, let us embrace the contrast, manage our expectations, and trust ourselves on our journey towards happiness.