Healing your co-founder relationship: How your schedule can make or break you

Healing your co-founder relationship: How your schedule can make or break you

When it comes to running a successful business, the relationship between co-founders is crucial. However, there are times when these relationships can go awry. In order to address and heal these issues, it's important to start by considering what is going on for you personally. We all have two personal antennae - one that looks outward and picks up signals of what is going on for the other person, and one that looks inward and registers what is going on for ourselves.

Understanding and acknowledging our own feelings is key to expanding our choices and reducing reactive behavior. This is where a Vocabulary of Feelings comes in handy. By understanding what we are feeling more fully, we can have more productive conversations with our co-founders and make better decisions.

Interpersonal issues can arise from various sources, such as a perceived power differential that complicates decision-making processes. It's important to raise these issues with your co-founder in a productive and non-animosity-inducing manner. Remember, they are experiencing their own version of the situation, and the more curious we can be about their feelings, the more generative our conversations will be.

When it comes to finding a solution, it's helpful to answer three questions simultaneously: What do I need? What do you/others need? And what is best for the organization? By considering all perspectives and being genuinely curious, we can lower defensiveness and build stronger relationships.

Another aspect that can make or break a co-founder relationship is the difference in work schedules. Different types of work require different schedules, and it's important to find a balance that works for both parties. Paul Graham introduced the concept of maker and manager schedules, highlighting the importance of understanding the differences between the two.

For makers, who focus on creating value, interruptions and meetings can be detrimental to their productivity. A single meeting can disrupt their flow and make it difficult to accomplish deep work. On the other hand, managers are constantly organizing and making decisions, so meetings are a regular part of their day.

To find a balance between the two schedules, it's important to set boundaries, communicate expectations, and create an environment conducive to deep work. This might mean setting aside specific blocks of uninterrupted time for makers and minimizing unnecessary interruptions.

Studies have shown that top performers tend to work in companies that prioritize privacy, personal space, control over their physical environment, and freedom from interruption. This highlights the importance of creating an environment that supports deep work and allows employees to perform at their best.

In conclusion, healing your co-founder relationship starts with understanding your own feelings and being curious about the feelings of your co-founder. By addressing interpersonal issues and finding a balance between maker and manager schedules, you can build a stronger and more productive co-founder relationship. Here are three actionable pieces of advice:

1. Develop a Vocabulary of Feelings: Take the time to understand and acknowledge your own emotions. This will help you make better decisions and have more productive conversations with your co-founder.
2. Communicate and Be Curious: When addressing issues with your co-founder, approach the conversation with genuine curiosity about their feelings and perspectives. This will help build stronger relationships and find better solutions.
3. Prioritize Deep Work: Whether you're a maker or a manager, it's important to prioritize deep work and create an environment that supports uninterrupted focus. Set boundaries, communicate expectations, and minimize unnecessary interruptions.

Remember, healing your co-founder relationship and finding a balance in your work schedules is essential for the success of your business. By prioritizing communication, understanding, and deep work, you can navigate the challenging journey of entrepreneurship with greater ease.