"How to Know What You Really Want and Find Product/Market Fit"

"How to Know What You Really Want and Find Product/Market Fit"

Desires are fundamentally different from needs. While needs are based on physical or instinctual necessities, desires are intellectual appetites for things that we perceive to be good, regardless of their actual value. The pleasure we derive from desires is primarily intellectual. It is important to understand that desires are a social process and not something we fully control. They are largely influenced by others and the models of desire they present to us.

Thomas Aquinas, a 13th-century philosopher and theologian, referred to desires as part of the "will." When we desire something, we strive towards it, and if we obtain it, we find joy in it. However, desire itself does not bring us joy because it is always for something we feel we lack. This constant striving for what we do not possess is the essence of desire.

French philosopher René Girard introduced the concept of mimetic desire, which highlights the social nature of desire. We are naturally drawn to want what others want. Girard argued that desire is not something we generate on our own but is largely influenced by social interactions. We are influenced by both internal models (people we interact with) and external models (celebrities, historical figures, media).

Advertisers understand the power of mimetic desire and often use it to their advantage. They show us not the product itself but other people wanting the product. This can lead to unnecessary competition and rivalry as we strive to obtain what others desire. It's important to recognize the models that are influencing our desires and reflect on whether they align with our true values and aspirations.

To gain more control over our desires, we need to understand the system of desire we are enmeshed in. This involves recognizing the models that have shaped our desires and finding our own north star, independent of external influences. By mapping out our desires and understanding their origins, we can begin to take critical distance from them and make conscious choices.

Fear of missing out (FOMO) is a common manifestation of mimetic desire. We often desire things or experiences because we see others wanting them. It's essential to question whether these desires align with our true values and bring us genuine joy. Instead of constantly seeking external validation, we should focus on our immediate responsibilities and relationship commitments.

Finding product/market fit is crucial for the success of any product. Product/market fit refers to the level of satisfaction that allows for sustained growth. It is not about achieving complete customer satisfaction, as customers' expectations are ever-changing. Instead, product/market fit is when customers stop leaving and retention becomes stable.

Measuring retention alone is not enough to determine product/market fit. Sustainable growth, indicated by a flattened retention curve of key actions and month-over-month growth in new customers, is a better measure. It's important to find the right balance between customer feedback and the vision of the founders. A strong vision combined with market feedback is often the key to success.

Ultimately, true happiness and fulfillment come from within ourselves, not from external possessions or achievements. It's important to recognize that possessions are merely tools to be used and that all desires are ultimately a desire for being. If we can find contentment and happiness in the present moment, we can free ourselves from the control of mimetic desire.

In conclusion, understanding our desires and their origins is crucial for personal growth and finding true fulfillment. By recognizing the influence of mimetic desire and the models that shape our aspirations, we can make conscious choices aligned with our values. Similarly, finding product/market fit requires a balance between customer feedback and a strong vision. By measuring retention and sustainable growth, we can determine if our product is truly meeting the needs and desires of our target market.

Actionable advice:

1. Reflect on the models that have influenced your desires and question whether they align with your true values. Find your own north star and make conscious choices based on your aspirations.
2. Be aware of the influence of mimetic desire in your life and avoid unnecessary competition or rivalry. Focus on your immediate responsibilities and relationship commitments instead of constantly seeking external validation.
3. Measure retention and sustainable growth to determine product/market fit. Find the right balance between customer feedback and the vision of the founders to achieve success.

Remember, true happiness comes from within and cannot be found in external possessions or achievements. By understanding our desires and finding contentment in the present moment, we can free ourselves from the control of mimetic desire and find true fulfillment.