Mean People Fail: The Key to Success and Happiness

Mean People Fail: The Key to Success and Happiness

It's a common belief that nice guys finish last, but when it comes to success and happiness, it seems that mean people actually fail. It struck me recently how few of the most successful people I know are mean. Sure, there are exceptions, but remarkably few. This observation led me to delve deeper into the connection between kindness and success, and what I discovered was truly eye-opening.

One of the reasons mean people fail is that being mean makes you stupid. When you engage in fights or conflicts, you never do your best work because fights are not sufficiently general. Winning is always a function of the situation and the people involved. This is especially relevant in the startup world, where success is not achieved by attacking others, but by transcending limitations and creating something truly innovative.

Another reason mean founders fail is their inability to attract and retain the best talent. A mean person may be able to convince some people to work for them, but they will struggle to convince the best people unless they possess exceptional persuasion skills. In contrast, kind and compassionate leaders are able to inspire and motivate their teams, creating an environment where everyone feels valued and supported. This, in turn, leads to higher productivity and success.

Interestingly, the startup founders who end up the richest are not the ones driven solely by money. Instead, they are driven by a spirit of benevolence. When you think of successful people from history who weren't ruthless, you often find mathematicians, writers, and artists. These individuals were motivated by a desire to make a positive impact on the world, and their success naturally followed.

Now, let's explore the findings from a fascinating study titled "What makes us feel good about our work?" These findings further reinforce the notion that kindness and meaning are key ingredients for success and happiness.

The study revealed that shredding someone's effort in front of them or ignoring their performance easily takes away their joy and meaning. It doesn't matter how much the person loves what they do; there is no correlation between love for the work and the impact of external evaluation. People tend to value what they put effort into more than things that are evaluated externally. The more effort they put in, the more value they perceive in their work, and they assume that others will value it as well.

Furthermore, the study showed that if a task is too easy or requires no effort, people struggle to feel a connection to it. This is exemplified by the example of cake mix. When the eggs and milk were removed from the cake mix, people felt less ownership and connection to the final product. It didn't feel like their own creation, diminishing their sense of pride and satisfaction.

Interestingly, the study also found that when people put effort into building something, such as origami, they not only loved the final product more, but they also believed that others would see the world through their eyes and appreciate it more. This highlights the importance of meaning and creation in our work. When we invest time, energy, and effort into something, we develop a sense of ownership and pride, and we naturally want others to see and appreciate it as well.

So, what can we learn from these insights and how can we apply them to our own lives and careers? Here are three actionable pieces of advice:

1. Be kind and compassionate: Kindness not only makes you a better person but also increases your chances of success. Treat others with respect, build strong relationships, and create a positive and supportive work environment. This will attract top talent and foster collaboration and innovation.

2. Find meaning and purpose in your work: Whether you're an entrepreneur or an employee, strive to find meaning and purpose in what you do. Take ownership of your projects, invest time and effort into them, and create something that you're proud of. This will not only increase your satisfaction and motivation but also inspire others to appreciate your work.

3. Recognize and appreciate the efforts of others: Take the time to acknowledge and appreciate the efforts of your colleagues and team members. Avoid shredding someone's effort in front of them or ignoring their performance. Instead, provide constructive feedback, recognize their accomplishments, and show genuine appreciation for their hard work. This will not only boost their motivation and engagement but also foster a positive and collaborative work culture.

In conclusion, the notion that mean people fail is supported by both personal observations and scientific findings. Kindness, compassion, and a sense of meaning are crucial factors in achieving success and happiness. By incorporating these values into our lives and work, we can create a positive impact and foster a culture of success and fulfillment. So, let's strive to be kind, find meaning in our work, and appreciate the efforts of others.