“Sometimes when we practice self-compassion, we bring to mind difficult experiences or emotions, and that can be challenging,” Germer explains. It’s not uncommon for people to feel overwhelmed or even guilty when they try to be kind to themselves.

“Sometimes when we practice self-compassion, we bring to mind difficult experiences or emotions, and that can be challenging,” Germer explains. It’s not uncommon for people to feel overwhelmed or even guilty when they try to be kind to themselves.

One reason self-compassion can be difficult is because many people have internalized harsh self-criticism. Society often promotes the idea that we need to be constantly achieving and improving, which can lead to a constant internal pressure to be perfect. When we try to be self-compassionate, it can feel like we’re giving ourselves permission to be less than perfect, which goes against everything we’ve been taught.

Additionally, self-compassion requires us to acknowledge and accept our flaws and mistakes. This can be uncomfortable, as it goes against the idea that we always need to be right or have everything together. It can be easier to ignore or deny our shortcomings rather than face them head-on with self-compassion.

Another reason self-compassion can be difficult is because it involves being present with our pain and suffering. It requires us to sit with uncomfortable emotions and experiences, rather than pushing them away or distracting ourselves. This can be challenging, as we often prefer to avoid pain and seek immediate relief.

Furthermore, self-compassion can be challenging when we compare ourselves to others. We live in a society that constantly promotes comparison and competition, making it difficult to truly embrace self-compassion. When we see others achieving or succeeding, it can trigger feelings of inadequacy or self-judgment, making self-compassion feel out of reach.

So how can we overcome these challenges and cultivate self-compassion? Here are three actionable steps:

1. Recognize and challenge your inner critic: Start by becoming aware of your self-critical thoughts and beliefs. Notice when you’re being hard on yourself and challenge those thoughts. Ask yourself if you would speak to a friend the way you speak to yourself. Practice replacing self-criticism with self-compassion.

2. Practice mindfulness: Mindfulness can help us cultivate self-compassion by allowing us to be present with our emotions and experiences. Take time each day to sit quietly and observe your thoughts and feelings without judgment. This practice can help you develop a greater sense of self-awareness and acceptance.

3. Surround yourself with positive influences: Pay attention to the models of desire in your life. Identify the people who inspire and motivate you, and distance yourself from those who make you feel inadequate or self-conscious. Surround yourself with supportive and uplifting individuals who encourage self-compassion.

In conclusion, self-compassion can be challenging for many people due to internalized self-criticism, fear of acknowledging flaws, discomfort with sitting with pain, and the constant comparison to others. However, by recognizing and challenging our inner critic, practicing mindfulness, and surrounding ourselves with positive influences, we can begin to cultivate self-compassion. Remember, self-compassion is a journey, and it takes time and practice. Be patient and kind to yourself as you navigate this process.