Excellent Advice for Living: Wisdom I Wish I'd Known Earlier (English Edition)

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About This Book

Excellent Advice for Living distills decades of hard-won wisdom from Wired founder Kevin Kelly into hundreds of compact, aphoristic maxims he wishes he'd known earlier. There is no linear argument; instead the book operates as a curated field guide to a well-lived life, with each line standing alone yet reinforcing recurring themes.

The most highlighted ideas cluster around a few pillars:

Habits over inspiration — "Make progress by making habits" and becoming "the kind of person who never misses a workout."
Kindness as a default — when choosing between being right and being kind, be kind, no exceptions.
Generosity and gratitude — the more you give, the more you get; daily gratitude is the cheapest therapy.
Communication and listening — ask for advice not feedback, pause when speaking, listen for what isn't said.
Responsibility and maturity — "Just because it's not your fault doesn't mean it's not your responsibility."

Kelly returns again and again to the gap between what we acquire and what actually matters: experiences over possessions, mattering over influence, character over achievement (attend funerals and notice that only kindness is remembered). He champions creative iteration — make something great by remaking it, separate creating from improving, and make one to throw away. Practical tactics abound too, from negotiation ("Can you do better?") to travel (small luggage, leave stuff behind) to parenting (love your spouse, ask who they helped today).

The throughline is that wisdom is largely about identity and focus rather than time or talent: "You are what you do." Read in small doses, the book functions as a daily almanac of nudges toward becoming a more generous, disciplined, curious, and humble person.

Key Takeaways

1.Habits beat inspiration — become the kind of person who acts automatically rather than relying on motivation.
2.When forced to choose, be kind over being right — but never confuse kindness with weakness.
3.Responsibility is the foundation of maturity: just because something isn't your fault doesn't mean it's not your responsibility.
4.Generosity compounds — the more you give of money, time, and praise, the more you receive in return.
5.You don't need more time, you need more focus — and "you are what you do," not what you say or believe.
6.Create by iterating — make something great by remaking it, and separate the act of creating from the act of improving.
7.Lasting satisfaction comes from experiences and mattering, not from acquiring possessions or chasing fame.

Top Highlights

Habit is far more dependable than inspiration. Make progress by making habits. Don’t focus on getting into shape. Focus on becoming the kind of person who never misses a workout.

Highlighted by 8 people

Rule of 3 in conversation: To get to the real reason, ask a person to go deeper than what they just said. Then again, and then once more. The third time’s answer is the one closest to the truth.

Highlighted by 7 people

Don’t take it personally when someone turns you down. Assume they are like you: busy, occupied, distracted. Try again later. It’s amazing how often a second try works.

Highlighted by 7 people

Whenever you have a choice between being right or being kind be kind. No exceptions. Don’t confuse kindness with weakness.

Highlighted by 7 people · 1 left notes

If you ask for someone’s feedback you’ll get a critic. But if instead you ask for advice you’ll get a partner.

Highlighted by 6 people

A major part of travel is to leave stuff behind. The more you leave behind the further you will advance.

Highlighted by 5 people

Perhaps the most counterintuitive truth of the universe is that the more you give to others the more you’ll get. Understanding this is the beginning of wisdom.

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Speak confidently as if you are right but listen carefully as if you are wrong.

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When speaking to an audience pause frequently. Pause before you say something in a new way pause after you have said something you believe is important and pause as a relief to let listeners absorb details.

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The general strategy for real estate is to buy the worst property on the best street. You cannot get smart people to work extremely hard just for money. Half the skill of being educated is learning what you can ignore.

Highlighted by 5 people

AI Review

4.4/ 5

Based on Glasp's analysis of highlights from 12 readers, this is a remarkably resonant collection where dozens of separate maxims drew strong consensus — a sign the wisdom lands broadly. Its strength and its limitation are the same: hundreds of standalone aphorisms rather than a sustained argument.

Pros

+Exceptionally quotable and memorable — many maxims drew independent agreement across readers
+Practical and immediately actionable across work, money, relationships, and parenting
+Concise format makes it ideal for daily reading and re-reading
+Consistent emphasis on kindness, generosity, and gratitude that readers found genuinely affecting
+Blends timeless principles with clever tactical tips (negotiation, travel, communication)

Cons

−Lacks a narrative or framework — it's a list, not a developed argument
−Aphorisms can feel generic or oversimplified without context or evidence
−Easy to read passively and forget; requires deliberate application to be useful

Glasp AI analysis based on highlights from 12 readers.

Who Should Read This

Ideal for anyone seeking a quotable, browse-anytime guide to practical wisdom — recent graduates, young professionals, and parents who want concrete principles for life, work, and relationships. It also suits creatives and entrepreneurs looking for advice on iteration, negotiation, and focus, and readers who enjoy aphoristic books they can dip into daily rather than read cover to cover. No prerequisites required; the maxims are accessible to all ages and especially resonate with those at a crossroads or wanting to pass wisdom to children.

Frequently Asked Questions

What is the book about?

It is a collection of hundreds of short life maxims from Kevin Kelly, founder of Wired, sharing the practical wisdom he wishes he'd learned earlier across topics like habits, kindness, money, creativity, and relationships.

Who is it for?

It's for anyone wanting concrete, actionable life advice — especially young adults, parents, creatives, and entrepreneurs. Many readers see it as wisdom worth passing on to their children.

What are the key lessons?

Build habits rather than relying on inspiration, choose kindness over being right, give generously, focus on what matters, and take responsibility even when it's not your fault. Identity ("You are what you do") drives behavior.

Is it worth reading?

Yes, especially as a book to dip into repeatedly. The high number of independently echoed highlights suggests readers found unusual density of resonant, usable advice.

How should I read this book?

In small doses. It works best as a daily almanac — read a few maxims, reflect, and try applying one rather than consuming it all at once.

What does the book say about money and generosity?

Be frugal in all things except your passions, avoid debt for depreciating things, invest small amounts over long periods, and give freely — the book insists "the more you give, the more you'll get."

What advice does it offer on communication?

Ask for advice not feedback, use the Rule of 3 to reach the truth, pause when speaking to an audience, and remember that the purpose of listening is to hear what isn't being said.

How to Apply What You Read

1.Build one keystone habit by shifting your language from "I can/can't" to "I do/don't," anchoring it to identity.
2.Ask for advice instead of feedback, and use the Rule of 3 to dig past surface answers in conversations.
3.Write down one thing you're grateful for each day as a low-cost daily practice.
4.Praise people while they're alive — tell them in a letter rather than waiting for a eulogy.
5.Audit your to-do list by asking "What's the worst that happens if this doesn't get done?" and cut everything but the disasters.

Discussion Questions

Q1.Which single maxim from the book would most change your life if you actually applied it, and why haven't you yet?
Q2.Kelly says "you are what you do." How well does how you spend your time reflect who you say you want to be?
Q3.Do you agree that you should always choose kindness over being right? Are there exceptions the book overlooks?
Q4.How do you balance the book's advice to follow your passions with its caution that 'following your bliss' can cause paralysis?
Q5.Which piece of advice do you find oversimplified or wrong, and what would you replace it with?
Q6.The book argues responsibility matters even when fault doesn't. Where in your life are you avoiding responsibility for something not your fault?
Q7.If you could pass only three of these maxims to a child or younger version of yourself, which would they be?