The danger of hiding who you are | Morgana Bailey

TL;DR

In this content, the speaker reflects on her journey of hiding her identity as a lesbian and discusses the impact of hiding on individuals and society.

Transcript

When I was young, I prided myself as a nonconformist in the conservative U.S. state I live in, Kansas. I didn't follow along with the crowd. I wasn't afraid to try weird clothing trends or hairstyles. I was outspoken and extremely social. Even these pictures and postcards of my London semester abroad 16 years ago show that I obviously didn't care ... Read More

Key Insights

• 🌈 Acceptance and fear of not being accepted can lead individuals to hide aspects of their identity, whether it be their sexual orientation or other personal characteristics, in both their personal and professional lives.
• 💃 The pressure to conform in the workplace is a significant issue, with many employees altering their behavior or appearance to fit in. This is particularly true for individuals who are gay, lesbian, or bisexual, who often feel the need to hide their identity to advance their careers.
• ➡️ Hiding one's true self can have severe consequences, including reduced life expectancy for LGBTQ+ individuals in anti-gay communities. The stress and social stigmas associated with hiding can lead to higher rates of heart disease, violence, and suicide.
• 🔎 The impact of personal choices to hide can extend beyond just the individual, contributing to a larger atmosphere of discrimination and inequality.
• 💔 The silence and lack of honesty about one's identity can perpetuate discrimination, as personal stories have the power to change minds, challenge prejudices, and create a more accepting environment.
• 🗽 Diversity should be celebrated and advocated for in all aspects of life, including the workplace. Embracing and supporting diversity is essential for the personal and professional fulfillment of individuals.
• 💪 Overcoming fears and insecurities is crucial for personal growth and creating positive change in the world.
• 🌐 By coming out and being true to oneself, individuals can challenge societal norms, change data on discrimination, and inspire others to embrace their authentic selves.

Questions & Answers

Q: How did the speaker's personality change during her time abroad in London?

The speaker's personality changed during her time abroad in London. Initially, she prided herself on being a nonconformist and was outspoken and social. However, she experienced a shift and began hiding her true self, staying in her room instead of socializing and stopping engagement in clubs and activities.

Q: Why did the speaker choose to hide her true identity?

The speaker chose to hide her true identity because she was afraid of not being accepted. She believed that conformity was necessary for long-term career advancement and feared the social repercussions of revealing her true self. This fear of non-acceptance led her to suppress her identity for 16 years.

Q: What are the consequences of hiding one's identity?

Hiding one's identity can have severe consequences, both personally and socially. The speaker discovered that the life expectancy of gay, lesbian, and bisexual individuals is reduced by twelve years in highly anti-gay communities compared to accepting communities. Personal stress and social stigmas can lead to higher rates of heart disease, violence, and suicide.

Q: How did the speaker's silence contribute to discrimination?

By choosing to hide her true self, the speaker unintentionally contributed to an environment of discrimination. She realized that her silence had social consequences when a bill was brought up in Kansas that would allow businesses to deny services to the LGBTQ+ community. Had she shared her story and experiences earlier, she believes she may have been able to change the atmosphere of discrimination and potentially influence votes.

Q: How did the speaker's profession challenge her silence?

The speaker works in human resources, a profession that aims to promote diversity and inclusion in the workplace. She realized the irony of advocating for diversity professionally but doing nothing to advocate for diversity in her personal life. When she joined her current company, which had anti-discrimination policies and global inclusion programs, she had the opportunity to come out but chose not to, reflecting her own insecurities and fears.

Summary & Key Takeaways

• The speaker, Morgana, prided herself on being a nonconformist in her conservative hometown, but she eventually began hiding her true self.

• A large number of people, including gays and lesbians, hide aspects of their identity due to fear of not being accepted, even in workplaces with diversity policies.

• The speaker's own silence and hiding may have contributed to the discrimination faced by the LGBTQ+ community, and she regrets not speaking up to change the atmosphere in her home state of Kansas.