The Art of Fitting In | Alex Chatzithomas | TEDxKeystoneAcademyBJ | Summary and Q&A

September 25, 2023
TEDx Talks
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The Art of Fitting In | Alex Chatzithomas | TEDxKeystoneAcademyBJ

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In this video, Alex shares his personal story about joining the Keystone community and the challenges he faced in fitting in as a foreigner. He discusses the social divide between the Chinese and foreign students, and how his behavior influenced the acceptance of Chinese students. Alex explores the pressure to conform and the suffocating nature of fitting into predetermined molds. He emphasizes the importance of embracing diversity, celebrating differences, and creating an inclusive environment where everyone feels valued and respected.

Questions & Answers

Q: How did Alex feel when his Chinese friend described him as someone who keeps to himself and doesn't try to make an impact in the community?

Alex felt a mix of shame and pride. He was proud to be considered kind and respectful, but also felt disappointed in himself and society for not making an effort to make a larger impact.

Q: Why did Alex feel like he stood out in Beijing?

As a foreigner from Greece, Alex felt that the constant staring reminded him that he was not from there. Whether it was online, on public transportation, or in public places, he was aware of being different.

Q: What social divide did Alex notice when he moved to Keystone?

Alex noticed a clear divide between the Chinese and the foreigners at his new school. He felt like there were two distinct groups, and he initially struggled to make friends until a fellow foreign student introduced him to the others.

Q: How did Alex's behavior with the foreign students affect his relationships with the Chinese students?

Alex realized that his association with the Westerners directly influenced his relationship with the Chinese students. He noticed the absence of Chinese friends and felt like he had to choose between embracing his Westernness or trying to adjust to fit in.

Q: What changes did Alex make to try to fit in at Keystone?

Alex decided to act more in line with the norms and expectations of the school. He stopped displaying his more Western sense of humor, kept to himself more often, and made sure he was open, kind, respectful, and approachable to anyone in the community.

Q: What did Alex realize about the pressure to conform?

Alex realized that the pressure to conform and fit into a predetermined mold can be suffocating. Society often rewards those who blend in and do not disrupt the status quo, but this can be a barrier for individuals who bring a different perspective and challenge the norms.

Q: How does Alex believe true acceptance and unity can be achieved?

Alex believes that true acceptance and unity come from embracing diversity and celebrating differences. He argues that we shouldn't have to choose between assimilating into a community or losing part of our identity. Everyone should feel valued and respected regardless of their background or cultural differences.

Q: What does Alex believe is the richness and beauty of diversity?

Alex believes that each person has a unique story and set of experiences that can broaden our understanding of the world. By embracing our differences, we can foster a sense of belonging that goes beyond superficial appearances or social expectations.

Q: What does Alex say about creating an inclusive society?

Alex emphasizes the importance of creating an environment that encourages dialogue, understanding, and empathy. Open-mindedness and genuine curiosity are essential for learning from one another, growing together, and creating a more inclusive society.

Q: How does Alex define fitting in for himself?

For Alex, fitting in means more than just being accepted or choosing one group over the other. It involves forging friendships, having strong relationships, and being respected and accepted for who you are, regardless of race, background, or personality. He encourages everyone to celebrate their own uniqueness and to inspire and uplift others.


Alex's story highlights the challenges of fitting in as a foreigner and the pressure to conform to societal expectations. He advocates for embracing diversity and celebrating differences, creating an inclusive environment where everyone feels valued and respected. Fitting in should not mean losing one's identity but finding a balance between embracing uniqueness and building connections with others. By breaking free from the limitations of conformity, we can foster a more inclusive society where everyone can thrive and be their authentic selves.

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