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How to Build Unstoppable Confidence Without Seeking Approval

63.4K views
•
August 5, 2019
by
Ed Mylett
YouTube video player
How to Build Unstoppable Confidence Without Seeking Approval

TL;DR

To build unstoppable confidence, focus on self-approval rather than seeking validation from others. Keeping promises to yourself establishes self-trust, which is essential for confidence. Instead of comparing yourself to others, concentrate on your personal growth and control your own narrative.

Transcript

you're obsessed with other people think about you the thing that's gonna kill your dream is your addiction to other people's approve trying to prove people wrong or write about you is a cheap level of motivation don't compare yourself most of the people you see on social media or even in your personal life or even when you go to lunch with them or ... Read More

Key Insights

  • Relying on others' approval is a low-level motivation that can hinder personal growth and fulfillment. True motivation should come from within and be aimed at personal goals.
  • Building self-confidence starts with keeping promises to oneself. This practice establishes a pattern of self-trust and self-respect, which are crucial for confidence.
  • The addiction to others' approval is a widespread issue today, surpassing even traditional addictions like drugs and alcohol. It stems from a lack of self-approval.
  • Negative self-talk and self-doubt are often external thoughts implanted by others. Recognizing and dismissing these thoughts is essential for building self-confidence.
  • Simplifying personal development is key to success. Complexity can be an excuse for inaction, while simplicity encourages consistent effort and progress.
  • Personal growth requires a constant drive to evolve. Stagnation is seen as a wasted opportunity, and feedback is necessary for reaching the next version of oneself.
  • Comparing oneself to others is detrimental, as people often present a public mask rather than their true selves. Focus should be on personal growth and identity.
  • Controlling one's own narrative and focusing on leading characters in one's life, rather than peripheral figures, is crucial for living a fulfilling life.

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Questions & Answers

Q: How does seeking others' approval affect personal growth?

Seeking others' approval can severely hinder personal growth as it shifts the focus from internal goals to external validation. This reliance on external opinions can lead to a lack of self-confidence and stunted personal development, preventing individuals from reaching their true potential.

Q: What is the foundation of building self-confidence?

The foundation of building self-confidence lies in keeping promises to oneself. By consistently honoring commitments made to oneself, individuals build a pattern of trust and respect, which are crucial elements for developing true self-confidence and reducing reliance on external validation.

Q: Why is the addiction to others' approval considered widespread today?

The addiction to others' approval is considered widespread today due to the pervasive influence of social media and societal pressures. Many people seek validation and worth from external sources, which has become more accessible and visible, leading to a decrease in self-approval and an increase in self-doubt.

Q: How can negative self-talk be managed?

Negative self-talk can be managed by recognizing that these thoughts often originate from external influences rather than personal beliefs. By acknowledging and dismissing these thoughts, individuals can reduce their impact, gradually replacing them with positive affirmations and self-approval, thus building confidence.

Q: What role does simplicity play in personal development?

Simplicity plays a crucial role in personal development by eliminating excuses for inaction. When personal growth is viewed as complex, it can become an excuse for not progressing. Simplifying goals and focusing on consistent effort encourages progress and success in personal development.

Q: Why is feedback important for personal growth?

Feedback is important for personal growth as it provides valuable insights and guidance for improvement. It helps individuals identify areas for development and encourages continuous evolution, ensuring that they do not stagnate and instead strive towards becoming better versions of themselves.

Q: How does comparison with others impact self-identity?

Comparison with others can negatively impact self-identity as it often involves measuring oneself against others' public personas or masks. This unfair comparison can lead to feelings of inadequacy and hinder personal growth. Focusing on personal identity and growth is more beneficial for self-development.

Q: What is the importance of controlling one's own narrative?

Controlling one's own narrative is important for living a fulfilling life as it involves focusing on the leading characters and personal goals rather than peripheral figures. By taking charge of one's life story, individuals can ensure they live authentically and achieve personal satisfaction and success.

Summary & Key Takeaways

  • The video discusses the pitfalls of seeking approval from others and how it undermines personal growth and confidence. It emphasizes the importance of self-approval and setting personal goals.

  • The speaker highlights the significance of keeping promises to oneself as a foundation for building self-confidence. This practice fosters self-trust and diminishes the impact of negative self-talk.

  • The video encourages viewers to focus on personal growth and identity rather than comparing themselves to others. It stresses the importance of controlling one's narrative and living a fulfilling life.


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