Aspen Baker: A better way to talk about abortion

TL;DR

This content explores the importance of having conversations about abortion and other difficult topics, and introduces the concept of "pro-voice" as a way to create empathy and understanding.

Transcript

It was the middle of summer and well past closing time in the downtown Berkeley bar where my friend Polly and I worked together as bartenders. Usually at the end of our shift we had a drink -- but not that night. "I'm pregnant. Not sure what I'm going to do yet," I told Polly. Without hesitation, she replied, "I've had an abortion." Before Polly, n... Read More

Key Insights

• ⚕️ Abortion is a common experience, with one in three women in America having an abortion in their lifetime.
• 🗣️ The dialogue around abortion in the United States is polarizing and leaves little room for conversation beyond the pro-life and pro-choice debate.
• 🌍 Pro-voice, a framework created by the organization Exhale, encourages listening and storytelling to shift conflicts to conversations on various issues, including immigration, religious tolerance, and violence against women.
• 💔 Telling personal stories can be vulnerable and exhausting, but it can also lead to breakthrough moments and empathy-building.
• 👂 Being a good listener involves asking open-ended questions and using reflective language, using the same words and terminology that the storyteller uses.
• 💬 Sharing stories comes with the understanding that others might make different decisions based on the same circumstances, but empathy is about imagining ourselves in someone else's shoes.
• 🌎 Pro-voice creates a culture that values uniqueness, respects differences, and generates empathy, countering stigma, shame, prejudice, discrimination, and oppression.
• 👶 Pro-voice applies not only to conversations about abortion but also to a wide range of politicized and stigmatized issues, including sexuality, mental health, poverty, and incarceration.

Questions & Answers

Q: What led the narrator to consider having an abortion?

The narrator found out she was pregnant while in a new relationship and felt unsure about what to do. She was influenced by her upbringing in a pro-life community and initially believed she could never have an abortion.

Q: How did the narrator's friend Polly impact her decision-making process?

Polly revealed to the narrator that she had previously had an abortion, which made the narrator feel less alone and opened her eyes to the possibility of discussing abortion. Polly's transparency and support played a significant role in the narrator's ultimate decision.

Q: What is the main issue with discussing abortion in the United States?

The dialogue around abortion in the United States is often limited to the opposing sides of "pro-life" and "pro-choice," leading to a polarized and political environment. This leaves little room for open conversation and understanding between individuals who have differing experiences and perspectives on abortion.

Q: What is the concept of "pro-voice"?

"Pro-voice" is a framework introduced by the narrator's organization, Exhale. It aims to create a space where all personal experiences and perspectives on abortion are respected and heard. Rather than choosing sides or asking individuals to conform to a specific narrative, "pro-voice" focuses on listening to and sharing stories to foster empathy and understanding.

Q: Why is being a good listener important in pro-voice practice?

Being a good listener is crucial in pro-voice practice because it allows individuals to truly understand and empathize with others' experiences. This involves asking open-ended questions and using reflective language to show genuine interest in their stories. By reflecting the language of the storyteller, listeners convey their desire to understand and support them without judgment.

Summary & Key Takeaways

• The speaker and her friend Polly, who worked as bartenders together, had a conversation about abortion, in which Polly shared her own experience of having one.

• The speaker founded an organization called Exhale to create a supportive space for people to share their experiences of abortion and other difficult issues.

• Pro-voice, the framework created by Exhale, aims to encourage listening and storytelling, allowing for diverse perspectives and creating empathy and understanding.