HBR’s Amy Gallo on working with difficult people

TL;DR

Learn how to handle difficult coworkers and improve workplace relationships by setting boundaries and experimenting with different approaches.

Transcript

LinkedIn news from the new steam at LinkedIn I'm Jesse Hempel and this is Hello Monday so a bunch of years ago I had a horrible time with a colleague we're gonna call him Sam because that is not his name Sam was so hard to work with he didn't return emails he dropped the ball in commitments he took credit for other people's work which I just really... Read More

Key Insights

• ❓ Difficult coworkers are common in any workplace, and their behaviors can create stress and discomfort in relationships.
• ▶️ Boundaries play a crucial role in managing difficult relationships, both emotionally and logistically.
• 🥡 Actively participating in relationships and taking ownership of one's behavior can empower individuals to navigate challenging dynamics successfully.
• ❓ Workplace relationships are not static or accidental, but can offer opportunities for growth, learning, and connection.
• ❎ Gossiping about difficult coworkers can reinforce negative biases and should be approached with caution.
• 👻 Recognizing one's own potential to exhibit difficult behaviors allows for self-reflection and growth.
• ❓ Navigating difficult relationships requires ongoing experimentation and a growth mindset.

Questions & Answers

Q: How should one handle a difficult coworker?

Handling a difficult coworker requires setting emotional and logistical boundaries, such as limiting interactions or changing the medium of communication. It's also essential to reflect on why their behavior bothers you and consider different approaches to the situation.

Q: When is it necessary to leave a toxic workplace?

The decision to leave a toxic workplace depends on factors such as the toxic person's influence, power dynamics within the organization, and the availability of positive relationships elsewhere. It might be helpful to explore other job opportunities as a starting point to assess your satisfaction and potential relief.

Q: How can one maintain their sense of self when dealing with a difficult coworker?

It's crucial to remember that a difficult person's behavior does not define your worth or capabilities. Focusing on other positive relationships and achievements can help maintain a sense of self outside of the challenging dynamic.

Q: Can gossiping about difficult coworkers be productive?

Gossiping about difficult coworkers can be counterproductive, as it can reinforce negative biases and solidify preconceived notions. However, discussing the situation with a trusted colleague who challenges your perspective and offers alternative insights can be helpful.

Key Insights:

• Difficult coworkers are common in any workplace, and their behaviors can create stress and discomfort in relationships.
• Boundaries play a crucial role in managing difficult relationships, both emotionally and logistically.
• Actively participating in relationships and taking ownership of one's behavior can empower individuals to navigate challenging dynamics successfully.
• Workplace relationships are not static or accidental, but can offer opportunities for growth, learning, and connection.
• Gossiping about difficult coworkers can reinforce negative biases and should be approached with caution.
• Recognizing one's own potential to exhibit difficult behaviors allows for self-reflection and growth.
• Navigating difficult relationships requires ongoing experimentation and a growth mindset.
• Relationships in the workplace can be influenced by the medium of communication, and face-to-face interactions are often more empathetic and productive.

Summary & Key Takeaways

• Workplace dynamics can be challenging, as people bring their own emotional resumes and triggers into their interactions with others.

• Difficult coworkers, or "Sams," are a common occurrence in any workplace, and their behavior can be problematic for multiple people.

• Relationships at work are not static or accidental, but rather offer opportunities for growth and learning, requiring active participation and agency from individuals.