How to Find Your Self-Worth and Own Your Life | Jillian Rigert, DMD, MD | TEDxColeParkStudio

TL;DR

External validation and achievements do not determine our worthiness, and living a life true to ourselves is one of the top regrets people have on their deathbeds.

Transcript

Transcriber: Kristin Rian Reviewer: Walaa Mohammed When I was a child, I used to write poetry as a form of emotional expression. I had a hard time expressing my thoughts verbally. But words used to seem to flow the moment I put pencil to paper. I started to get compliments for my writing and I felt seen. I craved that external validation and sense... Read More

Key Insights

• 🥺 Seeking external validation and achievements can lead to a sense of worthlessness and disappointment when comparing oneself to others.
• 🤳 Society's focus on hustle culture and self-sacrifice neglects genuine connections and basic human needs.
• 🫒 One of the top deathbed regrets is not living a life true to oneself and succumbing to external expectations.
• 😣 Rest and self-compassion are essential for understanding one's desires and living in alignment with personal values.
• 😫 Defining core values and setting boundaries are crucial steps in prioritizing what truly matters in one's life.
• 🥺 Embracing one's true self and not trying to fit in can lead to a sense of belonging and fulfilment.

Questions & Answers

Q: How did the speaker's experience with writing poetry shape their belief about external validation?

The speaker craved external validation and believed that their worth was dependent on achievements and acknowledgement from others. They believed that their writing had to be better than others to prove their worthiness.

Q: According to the speaker, what are some common regrets on people's deathbeds?

One of the top regrets is not having the courage to live a life true to oneself. People often prioritize external expectations over their own desires and neglect their own happiness and fulfillment.

Q: How did the speaker's pursuit of their dream job impact their mental health?

Despite being in training for their dream job, the speaker developed suicidal ideation and intense mental pain. They believed that they had to prove their worth by enduring a challenging road paved with long hours and sleepless nights.

Q: How did the speaker cope with their mental pain?

The speaker used anorexia nervosa as a numbing agent to temporarily escape their deep mental pain. However, they reached a breaking point and sought help by admitting themselves to an eating disorder treatment center.

Summary & Key Takeaways

• The speaker shares their personal experience of seeking external validation through writing poetry and facing disappointment when comparing their work to others'.

• Society heavily relies on external achievements to find success, often neglecting genuine connections and basic human needs.

• One of the top deathbed regrets is not having the courage to live a life true to oneself.