How to stop swiping and find your person on dating apps | Christina Wallace

TL;DR

The speaker shares her experience with online dating, highlighting the frustrations and limitations, and introduces her approach of using business tools to reengineer the process for better outcomes.

Transcript

I first tried online dating my freshman year of college, which was in 2001, in case you can't see my wrinkle. Now, as you may have noticed, I'm six-feet tall, and when I arrived at my chosen university and realized our men's Division III basketball team averaged five-foot-eight, I abandoned the on-campus scene and went online. Now, back then, onlin... Read More

Key Insights

• 📱 Online dating has evolved over the years, but many frustrations remain the same. It expands your dating options but falls short in other aspects.
• 📈 Applying a business mindset to online dating can help improve the process and find a compatible partner.
• 💼 Using tools like OkCupid and setting up a sales funnel can help filter potential matches based on specific criteria. ⏰ The "zero date" concept, which is a one-hour meeting, is an effective way to quickly determine if you would like to pursue further dates with someone.
• 💪 The zero date allows you to see how potential matches respond to you taking the initiative and asking them out.
• 😅 Not all dates will be successful, but that's okay. Use those experiences to refine your approach and be entertained in the process.
• 🌱 Online dating doesn't have to be a negative experience. Treat it as a means to source and qualify potential partners, and then take the conversation offline.
• 🔍 The ultimate goal of online dating is not swiping or accumulating matches but finding your compatible partner.

Questions & Answers

Q: How has online dating changed since the speaker's freshman year of college in 2001?

Online dating has evolved significantly since then. While it used to involve writing long emails back and forth for weeks before meeting in person, it has now become more swipe-based and gamified. However, despite these changes, many of the frustrations in online dating remain the same.

Q: What are some advantages of online dating mentioned by the speaker?

Online dating broadens the pool of potential dates beyond one's existing social and professional circles. It offers the opportunity to connect with individuals who may not have been encountered otherwise. This widened scope can increase the chances of finding a compatible partner.

Q: What are some drawbacks of online dating mentioned by the speaker?

The speaker claims that online dating doesn't do much else well besides broadening the dating pool. This suggests that other aspects, such as establishing chemistry and compatibility, can still be challenging to gauge online. Additionally, the speaker highlights the frustration of encountering individuals who may look great on paper but do not ultimately align with one's values or preferences.

Q: How did the speaker approach online dating differently in 2016?

In 2016, the speaker decided to apply some classic business tools to reengineer the online dating process. She utilized OkCupid to avoid swipe-based apps and set up a sales funnel methodology. Instead of focusing on superficial criteria, she defined the qualifications that would determine a potential lead's compatibility. This approach allowed her to be more intentional and discerning in her dating choices.

Q: What is the concept of the "zero date" introduced by the speaker?

The "zero date" is a one-hour meeting with a potential match to determine if a longer and more traditional first date is warranted. The goal is to answer the question, "Would I like to spend three hours across the table from this person?" It allows for a quick assessment of compatibility without investing excessive time and effort. The speaker found that this approach helped streamline the dating process and allowed her to fit in multiple "zero dates" in a single evening.

Summary & Key Takeaways

• The speaker tried online dating in college and is now sharing her experiences and frustrations with it.

• She used her business toolkit to reengineer the online dating process, setting up criteria for potential matches and scheduling quick "zero dates" to see if there was a connection.

• By following this approach, she eventually found a successful match and encourages others to use online dating as a way to source and qualify leads, leading to offline connections.