How to BE A MAN: essential and performative masculinity

TL;DR

Masculinity is not defined by external behaviors but rather by having the courage to stand up for one's beliefs and values.

Transcript

I'm Dr Orion taraban and this is cycax Better Living Through psychology and the topic today short talk is how to be a man it's a simple question and one that 100 years ago would be ludicrous to ask because back then everyone just sort of knew what the answer was but here we are in modern times characterized among other things by an identity crisis ... Read More

Key Insights

• ⚕️ There is an identity crisis among men in modern times, characterized by a complex understanding of masculinity.
• 📚 Performative masculinity and femininity are learned behaviors that express and confirm status in men and women.
• 💡 Many answers to the question of how to be a man focus on performative masculinity, involving specific behaviors, props, and postures.
• 💪 Masculinity can be simplified to having a spine (standing up for what you believe) and having courage (willingness to take risks for your values).
• 🌍 Having a spine allows you to establish your place in the world and attract opposition, while remaining spineless leads to a lack of self-knowledge and belonging.
• ⚖️ Having courage means being willing to suffer the risks associated with being an individual with values and beliefs, without caring about the approval or disapproval of others.
• 🙌 Having a spine and courage increase the likelihood of garnering respect from others, as these traits demonstrate integrity and commitment to one's beliefs.
• 🎯 True masculinity is not determined by external factors like appearance or hobbies, but by the presence of a spine and courage to stand up for one's beliefs.

Questions & Answers

Q: What is the author's view on performing traditional masculine activities like hunting or drinking?

The author acknowledges that engaging in activities like hunting or drinking can be enjoyable and even beneficial, but believes that true masculinity is not defined by these behaviors alone.

Q: How does having a spine relate to knowing one's values and beliefs?

Having a spine means being willing to stand up for what you believe to be true, which requires self-reflection and clarity about your values and beliefs.

Q: What does it mean to have balls in the context of masculinity?

Having balls means being willing to suffer the risks and consequences associated with being true to yourself, regardless of what others think or how they may react.

Q: How does the author define being a "man"?

In the author's opinion, being a man is not about conforming to society's expectations or stereotypes. It is about having a spine and some balls – the courage to stand up for your beliefs and values, regardless of external factors.

Summary & Key Takeaways

• Masculinity today is a complex concept influenced by performative behaviors and societal standards.

• The author argues that true masculinity is not about conforming to external behaviors, but rather about having a strong sense of self and the courage to stand up for one's beliefs.

• Having a spine means knowing and standing up for what you believe in, while having balls means being willing to face the risks and consequences of being true to yourself.