Do We Ever Have a Right to Be Miserable? Dr. Tal Ben-Shahar | Big Think

TL;DR

Allowing ourselves to experience and express emotions during difficult times can lead to post-traumatic growth and healing.

Transcript

it's very difficult to talk about or think about happiness when one is experien tragedy um in fact when people actually break down when they give themselves the permission to be human whether it's by crying or sharing uh their emotions with others when they break down their actually much more likely to get over their tragedy whereas people who say ... Read More

Key Insights

• 😢 Crying or sharing emotions after a tragedy can aid in healing and getting over the tragedy quicker than suppressing emotions.
• 👯 Post-traumatic growth is more common than people realize and can be achieved by giving ourselves permission to be human and experiencing emotions, interpreting the event, finding meaning, and opening up.
• 🤞 Luck can be cultivated by being open to opportunities, trying new things, and having a belief in luck.
• 🤑 Happiness is the ultimate goal that all others lead to. Success and money are pursued because of the belief that they will bring happiness, but true happiness comes from finding personally meaningful and pleasurable pursuits.

Questions & Answers

Q: Why is it important to give ourselves permission to be human and express emotions after a tragedy?

Allowing ourselves to experience and express emotions after a tragedy is crucial for the healing process. Suppressing emotions can prolong the recovery, whereas expressing them helps us process and overcome the tragedy.

Q: How does post-traumatic growth differ from post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)?

While PTSD is well-known, post-traumatic growth is less talked about. Post-traumatic growth occurs when we give ourselves permission to be human, experience emotions, interpret the event, find meaning in it, and open up about our experiences. It is a form of growth that can happen after a traumatic event.

Q: Is it possible for more people to experience post-traumatic growth?

Yes, post-traumatic growth is possible for many more people who have gone through trauma or difficult experiences. By actively allowing ourselves to experience emotions, interpreting the event, seeking meaning, and sharing our experiences, we can increase the chances of experiencing post-traumatic growth.

Q: Can luck be learned and taught?

Yes, luck can be learned and taught. Research by Richard Weissman suggests that certain characteristics, such as being open to opportunities, trying new things, and believing in luck, can increase one's luckiness. Weissman has even created a "luck school" to teach people how to become luckier.

Summary & Key Takeaways

• Suppressing emotions after a tragedy can prolong the healing process, while giving ourselves permission to be human and express emotions can aid in overcoming the tragedy.

• Post-traumatic growth occurs when we interpret and find meaning in what has happened to us, and when we open up and share our experiences.

• Luck can be learned and taught, and certain characteristics, such as being open to opportunities and believing in luck, can increase one's luckiness.